A Fine Line to Cross
by passionately-curious
Summary: You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. When two toxic lines begin to blur, can anything good come from it? Everlark AU
1. Chapter 1

Katniss stared at the deep purple polo Seneca Crane was holding out to her. She tentatively reached for it as if it could grow teeth and snap at her fingers. She hated her school colors, not at all convinced that purple and gold actually looked good on anyone. More than that, she hated that the research lab she worked at suddenly decided to enforce the archaic dress code and insist that all the student researchers needed to look like they worked for the university. Her direct supervisor, Dr. Beetee, grimaced when he handed her the official memo. She felt slightly better knowing he was as opposed to this new rule change as she was. Not that he could do anything to prevent it, but at least he could sympathize with her unpleasantness about the situation.

"Still a small, right, Katniss?" His beady eyes roamed over her petite frame. She cursed the early summer heat for forcing her into shorts instead of her normal jeans.

She crossed her arms and scowled at him. "Yes," she snapped, "Please."

He rubbed his well-manicured beard, aptly detailed with tiny flames. "I'll have to get them from the back, we're all sold out up here. Mind covering the register while I'm gone?" He squeezed her bare arm and walked past her without giving her the opportunity to refuse.

Katniss huffed. When she was a freshman, she took a temporary job as a stocker at the university bookstore over winter break. Seneca, the manager, was so impressed by her that he kept her on staff ever since, but almost always in a position that didn't require her to actually interact with customers. Her awkward social skills were only made worse when she started doing research in the biology lab during her junior year and spent too much time studying dung beetles alone in the basement.

She couldn't really complain about running the register at the moment. Summer session was set to start next week, so the bookstore wasn't as busy as it would be the day before classes, when students finally realized summer classes weren't fluff and they would actually have to work. There were two types of summer-school students; those wanting to graduate a semester early and those who hadn't successfully transitioned from high school to college and needed an opportunity to make up for those D's and F's they got during the year. The pair of girls now making their way toward the front counter now fell into the latter category.

"Can you believe it?" One of the overly tanned, bottle-blondes said to her friend, setting the stack of four novels onto the counter. "It's like she actually expects me to read all of these this semester. Hello, it's summertime!"

The other girl, an equal shade of orange, scoffed and fished her phone out of her purse. "And did you see the syllabus she emailed out? Two page reflection papers over each book? Don't these professors realize that we have other classes?"

"Seriously. And a thing called a social life." The first girl giggled. "They're so damn old they probably don't even know what that means anymore. Could you imagine running into one at a bar? They'd probably want to talk about the literary content of the drink selection."

The second girl set an 'Intro to World History' book on top of the pile. "This is so stupid. Who cares if I failed Western Civ? Hello, we live in America and I passed American History. Plus, I'm going to teach elementary school, not history."

Katniss let out an involuntary snort at this comment and felt the two girls finally acknowledge her presence with a sneer. She couldn't be sure because she kept her head down as she started scanning their purchases.

"Whatever. Oh, the Pikes are having a party tonight. You in?"

Of course they'd be going to a fraternity party. She hadn't missed the golden _Gamma Phi_ pin on their tank top straps. The Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity was notorious for having wild parties before and after every semester, with a few thrown in to celebrate things like "midterms" or "spring break" or "Friday." Katniss went to one her first semester with her randomly assigned Gamma Phi roommate and ended up kneeing a senior 'brother' in the crotch when he drunkenly tried to unbutton her pants in the middle of a conversation. Needless to say, her roommate moved out at the end of the semester and Katniss never went to another frat party.

"Have I ever turned down a Pike? Please."

The girls giggled again, making Katniss want to gag. She hadn't meant to listen in on their conversation and now she wished she hadn't. "Did you find everything you were looking for?" she asked in a flat, bored tone. The first girl stared at her for a moment and then broke out into the most artificial smile Katniss had ever seen. _These bitches get better at being fake every year._

"Yep. Thanks."

"Ok, that'll be $417.52."

The girl handed over a platinum credit card which made Katniss roll her eyes. Nothing like using Daddy's money to pay for books they'll never read. She started filling the thick plastic bags with the books. "Remember that if you want a full refund on any of these, they have to be returned within the first two weeks of the semester. Otherwise you'll have to wait until finals."

"Thanks for the reminder." As soon as the two turned from the counter, they whispered something to one another, looked over their shoulders at the counter, and began giggling loudly.

Underclassmen girls like these irritated her, especially the ones who felt like they deserved to be in college without having to work for it. Maybe that was because her parents instilled the value of an education in her from a young age. Or because she actually had to work to keep her grades up for her scholarship.

"Who needs world history?" she mimicked the girl's haughty tone. Resting her head in her hand, she let out a loud groan. "Just fucking kill me now."

"Well, that's not exactly the most positive attitude to take going into the new semester." A hearty voice answered. Other than those two girls, she hadn't seen any other customer in the place. And that voice was definitely not Seneca's almost comical, high-pitched voice. She began to panic, sure that if a customer heard her swearing and told her boss, he'd fire her. He liked her well enough to occasionally leave her in charge of the store over the summer, but she was pretty sure that was only because his other employees had lives and homes to get back to when school wasn't in session.

"Sorry," she mumbled, raising her head.

"Don't even worry about it," he answered, shaking a stray blond curl away from his sapphire blue eyes. He was attractive enough, just barely taller than her but was obviously someone who spent more time at the gym than in class. He looked far too comfortable in his low-hanging Under Armour gym shorts and over-priced Nike's. He certainly didn't look like the "graduate early go-getter," so she assumed he was just another summer school make-up if the 'Introduction to Psychology' textbook cradled in his elbow was any indication.

"I stood behind them for about fifteen minutes while they tried to figure out what psychology book they needed. Turns out neither of them were even taking psychology this semester."

She snorted. Not in the cute, Julia Roberts way, but in the obnoxious, _I laughed so hard I snorted like a pig_ way. She closed her eyes tightly, as if it could reverse time and take back the noise. When she opened them, he was still there. Smiling. At her.

She told herself it was just those unrealistically blue eyes that made her act so unlike herself. The eyes and maybe that stupid grin. The eyes, that stupid grin, and the lone piece of hair that fell haphazardly across his forehead in a way that made her want to brush it back. _Wait. What?_

Shaking that thought from her mind, she opted to keep her own eyes on the computer screen. He slid the psychology textbook across the counter so she could scan it. "You sure you want to buy this new? We have plenty of used copies that, that are cheaper."

"Nah, I've never been a fan of used books. I don't want to try to figure out what someone else thought was important. Probably ended up spending a couple thousand dollars extra just on books, but that's the price we pay for a quality education," he joked.

She knew he was expecting her to laugh at his comments, but she couldn't. Brand new textbooks weren't a luxury she could afford, even with her 25% discount. Her student loans were high enough as they were without the added cost of no extraneous highlighting. She hadn't even bought used books from the bookstore since discovering how much cheaper it was to buy books online. Before that, she spent well over $300 and it took her the rest of the year to pay off her 'emergency only' credit card, since she could only make the minimum monthly payment. "Um, it'll be $93.67."

He scrunched his eyebrows at the number. "For one book?"

She sighed, and scanned the room for Seneca's return. She remembered hearing horror stories from other employees about customers flipping out over the price of their textbooks, like any of them had some sort of control over how much everything in the place cost. The publishers ship the books at wholesale price, Seneca bumps it up 20% for profit, and that's what they're left with. "Blame your professor for ordering such an expensive book," she muttered, making the mistake of catching his eye again.

He stared at her for a minute, those blue eyes piercing through her, before he laughed loudly. "Got a new one this semester. Obviously hasn't figured out the system yet."

"Most of them don't," she admitted. She thought back to the rants her lab partner used to go on about how professors and anyone else involved in higher education were too far removed to really understand the plight of the average student, ranging from time management to cost to the whole inequality of majors within the school. She usually drowned him out and went about the lab so at least they wouldn't fail. "Well, they don't really care. They don't have to buy the book, so the cost doesn't affect them." She heard herself drag out the last part of the sentence and cringed.

He considered this, leaning in closer to her on the counter. "Then maybe the students should band together. Form a revolution of sorts." He smiled again and stood back up, pulling his wallet out from the pocket of his shorts. As he fished for his credit card, she noticed a bright gold card sticking out from behind his ID.

"You're a University employee?" she asked.

The slight raise of his eyebrow indicated his surprise and suspicion. "How did you know?"

She pointed to his wallet. "You get a discount with that, 20% of anything in the store, including books." That discount card was the main reason most of the students tried to find on-campus jobs. They pay wasn't always very good but the discount card nearly made up for it.

He slipped the card out with his thumb and handed it to her. "Thanks for the heads up. I just got the thing today so I haven't been able to try it out yet."

She slid his card through the reader. "$65.57."

"This," he said, shaking the card slightly, "Is a golden ticket." He reached for the plastic sack she slid his book into. Their fingers brushed slightly and she felt her breath lodge in her chest.

"Two weeks," she said, her voice shaking in a completely uncharacteristic manner. At this point, she didn't think she could ever look away from him even if she wanted to. "Um, I mean if you want the refund, it has to be returned within the first two weeks of the semester."

His lips curled into a full smile. "I don't think I have to worry about returning the book, but thanks." She could have sworn that his fingers were no longer wrapped just around the bag but had slid around hers.

Seneca's reappearance broke their spell and she pulled her hand away. She clenched and unclenched her fist, trying to shake the feeling away. "Want me to add the shirts to your tab?"

"Oh, um, yeah, yes, that would be great." She took the pile of folded polos from his hand and slipped out from behind the register. "Thanks."

She opened the door and groaned at the sweltering heat that met her outside the building. May had just begun, but the Midwestern humidity was already working her over. Her t-shirt instantly stuck to her body as a thin layer of sweat formed on her skin. It wasn't normally this hot in May, but they had an unusually mild winter and the threat of a hot summer loomed. She stripped off her t-shirt and used it to wipe off her face. The tank top she wrote underneath was too tight and revealing for her liking but she was too hot to care. _Besides_, she thought, _the lab is only across campus._

Katniss kept her eyes on the pavement in front of her feet, hoping the more scantily clad girls on campus would catch more attention than her. Cat calls and cheers of approval made her uncomfortable but when she caught a glimpse of a group of sorority girls in their bikinis setting up a Slip-N-Slide on the front yard of their house, she knew she'd be spared the awkwardness.

Intersections were the only time she looked up from the pavement on her walk, and even then it was just to check for traffic. She didn't bother waiting for walk signals if no cars were coming. Stop lights and cutting across the grass on campus. Katniss Everdeen, rebel. She was sure that if her mother cared enough to think about her, she'd be glad that was the extent of her daughter's rebellious phase.

She stepped off the curb when she felt fingers grip her exposed bicep and pull her back. She opened her mouth to yell but the sudden **thud **of her body hitting whoever grabbed her knocked all the air out of her chest. She just caught sight of the red flash of the car that would have hit her before clenching her eyes shut and catching her breath.

"You know, that's why they teach children to look both ways before crossing the street."

She peeked her eyes open and up into the face of that guy from the bookstore. Ah. That would explain the solid mass she ran into. Mr. Muscles.

She pushed off of him, rationalizing the fluttering in her stomach as a normal reaction to almost being hit. "I'll remember that next time." She looked down to where his fingers were still wrapped around her arm, albeit less tightly than before. "Uh, I need that."

He had been studying her face the entire time. The flecks of blue in her grey eyes. The speckling of freckles across the bridge of her nose out to under each eye. The tiny strands of hair that stuck to her neck despite the braid she wore. He hadn't noticed that he was still holding onto her until she said something. "Sorry. Force of habit."

She didn't say anything back, just turned her attention back to the light, which had just turned to the 'walk' signal. She continued on, ignoring the ghostly feel emanating from where his hand was.

"You know, this is twice now we've talked and I don't know your name."

He was behind her, following at a far enough distance to still talk but not be creepy. "Why do you want to know my name?" she asked.

"Friendly conversation. It's only natural for two people to crave interaction with one another."

She rolled her eyes, even though he couldn't see her. "And what if I don't crave interaction with you?" She felt foolish, seemingly having this conversation with herself since he wasn't next to her. Not that she wanted him next to her. She wanted to get to the lab and get to work.

"Ah, but you do. Otherwise you wouldn't still be talking to me." She could _hear_ the cocky smile on his face.

"I was always taught that it was rude to ignore someone when they're talking to you. Even if you're not interested." She smiled, sure she had won. When he didn't respond, she turned her head slightly to the side to see if he was still there. He was. Just walking. "See? Now you're being rude."

"I believe you just provided evidence for my hypothesis. The conversation had ended, as there was no logical progression to be made. Yet here you are, initiating a new one."

She opened her mouth but no words came out. She was shocked that somehow he had bested her. She may not have been the most clever girl or have the most silver of tongues, but she was usually successful at putting people in their place. In fact, she was so caught off guard that she stopped moving all together.

"Three conversations and still no name. Now who's being rude?" he said, coming up behind her.

"Katniss. My name is Katniss," she answered, stubbornly refusing to turn around.

"Katniss." She blamed the heat for the light-headedness that followed hearing her name pour from his lips. "I wouldn't expect purple to be your color."

She rolled her eyes. "I need something to wear to the Pike party." As soon as she said the words, she grimaced. She was fairly certain that he was somehow involved with the Greek system and they were a strange, twisted family when it came to outsiders speaking down about any of them.

His laugh seemed to emanate from deep inside him. Maybe he was one of those rare Greeks who could make fun of his chapter's antics. Or maybe he wasn't really a Pike. That seemed hard to believe, given his physical appearance. Pikes were known for partying but they were also the most attractive fraternity on campus. As much as Katniss didn't want to be affected by some guy who had to buy his friends, she couldn't deny that he was something somewhat spectacular to look at.

Suddenly his voice was much closer and she could feel his warm breath on her ear. "Just don't forget to sew your letters onto everything you own. That way they know where to send you when the party's over."

She shivered, despite the heat. They walked the rest of the way to the lab in silence but she felt his gaze on her the entire time. "Right, well, this is me," she offered lamely when they reached the intersection across the street from the lab.

"Be sure to watch for cars, Katniss." He reached for her shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. "See you around."

* * *

"Seriously, Madge! It's almost 10, all the tables are going to be gone by the time we get there!" Katniss bounced her knee impatiently as her roommate finished getting ready. "If you insist on dragging me to this bar tonight, I'd prefer to be in a dimly lit corner and not at the edge of the dance floor."

"Hold your tits, Everdeen!" Madge yelled back through the bathroom door. "Some of us put some work into our appearance. We can't all be as naturally adorable as you."

Katniss snorted in reply. Truthfully, Madge was probably one of the few girls who didn't need to put much work into her appearance. She was naturally beautiful; silky blonde hair, flawless skin without makeup, curvy enough for her small frame, and sparkling blue eyes. Katniss never understood why Madge put so much effort into looking better, but she had been doing it since the girls met freshman year.

"Look OK?" She opened the bathroom door and gave a quick spin.

"Who are you looking to bring home tonight?" Katniss joked as Madge dug her knee-high six-inch black boots out of the closet. Katniss never did embrace the skinny jean phase quite as enthusiastically as Madge did, who seemed to have at least 10 pairs in her wardrobe. Madge was the girl those designers must have had in mind when they designed them because they made her toned legs look thin and somehow made her ass look better than normal jeans. They were both thankful that early summer nights weren't nearly as stifling as hot summer days.

"If you think I'm carrying your drunk ass home tonight because your feet hurt, you've got another thing coming," she warned as Madge zipped up her boots.

"That was one time," she whined. "And I had no idea tequila shots and I didn't get along." She fluffed her hair and rolled her eyes. "Now, if my hair poofs up in this humidity and takes over my face, I may need some assistance."

Katniss laughed as she pulled herself out of the shabby recliner. Compared to Madge, she was sure she looked like a bum in her ripped jeans, red boat shoes, and a fitted T-shirt with a muffin lifting weights and the words 'stud muffin' across her non-existent chest. Her hair was braided and her face was clear of makeup save for a bit of concealer Madge insisted she use to cover the bags under her eyes, a lovely side effect of working almost 70 hours a week between her two jobs. She was looking forward to summer classes next week to get a break from work, even if the extra money was nice.

Katniss was never too concerned about her appearance, and tonight was no different. Tonight was about helping Madge get over her ex-boyfriend, who she caught cheating with his ex. She held herself together well enough during the week, but she proclaimed weekends to be 'self-destruct' time. Which is why, much to the surprise of her roommate, Katniss agreed to go out the weekend before classes started. The lucky tavern of choice was Madge's go-to; a rundown country bar with loud music and cheap drinks. It suited Katniss because it was big enough to meet new people but small enough to just relax.

The weekend crowds were hit or miss, especially in the summer. Sometimes the rowdy twenty-something's took over, drowning out the entertainment of choice. Other times, it was the forty and up crowd, who serve as their own source of entertainment, two-stepping around the floor. Katniss tended to prefer the older crowd. The women were nicer and the old men loved to teach the young 'whippersnappers' how to properly dance. "None of that humping nonsense," one told Katniss as he held her hand and led her onto the floor.

Tonight they weren't so lucky. The younger crowd was more obnoxious and on this particular evening, that meant a night full of out-of-tune karaoke. The bright side was $5 pitchers of beer and $1 shots of whatever low-alcohol content, overly fruity concoction the bartenders made, and named, that night.

"Oh, look, Madge, tonight's specialty is 'salty sailor's sperm.' Mmm, sounds tasty," Katniss joked as they read the drink specials outside the door. Sadly, that was tame compared to some of the other names they had come up with.

Madge clutched at Katniss' arm and dramatically fanned herself with her hand. "You know me, my darling. If it's not from a salty sailor, it's just not worth my time. Well, except..." She trailed off as they approached the bouncer at the door. Katniss rolled her eyes and fished a $10 bill out of her pocket.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite lab partner. How are you tonight, Catnip?"

"Fuck you, Gale. You know I hate that nickname."

"That's why I use it," he answered with a smile. "Hey, Madge."

"Gale."

Once again, Katniss rolled her eyes. "Here," she handed the bill to Gale, "I'm getting us both." Gale stamped both of their hands and turned his attention to the gaggle of girls in short shorts and halters behind them.

Katniss scouted the bar once inside and pulled Madge to the only open table. "Is this OK?" she yelled over the current singer.

Madge pouted. "It's so far from the dance floor."

"Madge, that was part of the deal. I told you I'd come out if I could slink in the shadows," Katniss huffed.

Madge's reluctant sigh gave Katniss hope that she'd won the battle until they sighted Leevy, one of Madge's business class friends. Leevy, who annoyed Katniss for reasons she could never explain other than she just didn't generally like people. And of course, Leevy was sitting at a table near the dance floor. That happened to have two empty seats. Yep, Katniss lost the battle.

"Leevy!"

"Oh my God, Madge!"

Katniss watched on as the girls hugged. Madge pulled out an open seat and gestured triumphantly to Katniss. "Your seat, dear lady," she said with a wink. "These are Leevy's friends but she said we could sit with them."

Katniss forced a smile. _How nice of Leevy's friends_, she thought. Luckily, Madge, Leevy, and Leevy's friends all really wanted to dance, so Katniss sat at the table alone with the pitcher they just bought. She poured herself a glass and kept a close eye on the group of girls.

"We meet again."

Even in the dimly lit bar, she could make out his mop of curly hair and crooked smile full of perfect teeth. And those eyes. "Technically, we didn't meet the first time," she corrected him, "Since you know my name, but I don't know yours."

"True." His smile widened and he sat in a chair across the table from her. "Four conversations later, I'm Peeta. Can I buy you a drink? Or, get you a straw?" he laughed, pushing the nearly full pitcher toward her.

"You want some? I'm afraid it may have been abandoned."

He tapped the small glass tumbler of ice and an amber liquid in front of him. "Learned the hard way that mixing alcohol leads to bad decisions. It's probably safer this way."

Katniss turned her chair so she could talk to Peeta and still keep an eye on Madge. It wasn't that she didn't trust Leevy and her friends, it was that she didn't know them. And she knew Madge. And, OK, she didn't really trust them. With good reason, she soon discovered, as a group of guys quickly surrounded them. It was the one cornering Madge, running his hand down her arm, leaning in close to her ear to tell her something that made her blush. She narrowed her eyes and clenched her jaw as she quickly recalled all the reasons she fucking hated Cato.

"Is there a reason you can't keep your eyes off of Big, Blond, and Beastly over there?"

She whipped her head around and saw Peeta tipping his now empty glass toward where she had just been staring. Cato was still hanging all over Madge, leaning in, pushing her hair behind her ear, tracing her jaw line with his finger. She wanted to be mad at Madge for giggling and leaning into him in return, but she couldn't be. It wasn't Madge's fault that Cato was an ass who just decided to be done dating Katniss without telling her. He was charming. And good looking. And Madge was already buzzed. They'd have to have a chat in the morning.

"Big, Blond, and Beastly is my recent ex. And the girl he's flirting with is my best friend slash roommate." She didn't want to watch them, especially when Cato glanced her direction and winked. "Cocky bastard just wants her because he knows it would piss me off."

She turned back in disgust and downed what beer was left in her plastic cup. "I'm glad you don't want any. Looks like I'm not in the mood to share anymore."

"How recent?"

She scrunched her face and concentrated on pouring her next cup. "That wasn't exactly the response I was expecting, but...um, I dunno, about two weeks. At least, I think it was two weeks. It was a very confusing breakup."

He raised both eyebrows. "Two weeks and he's already making a move on your best friend? You must have really pissed him off."

She shrugged. "I may or may not have paid the bartenders to tell girls he's got a tiny dick." He nearly choked on the ice cube he had been chewing on. She smiled and blushed slightly. "Not my finest moment, that's for sure."

They spent the night talking about anything they could think of. He learned she was a biology major and she found out he studied psychology, a thought that made her visibly gag.

"What's wrong with psychology?" he asked with an easy laugh. As she continued to down cups of beer, she was more willing to talk to him with a scowl, even when she was completely dismissing his field.

"What isn't wrong with psychology? I mean, it's not even a real science, for crying out loud. You watch people and make assumptions that don't really have a basis in fact because people have too many variants. There's no way to determine what I'm going to do in any given scenario so why bother wasting your time? Also, why do you all see sex in everything?"

"Have you even taken a psych class, Dr. Phil?" he asked.

Scoffing, she polished off the pitcher of Bud Light. "No. But I have to this semester. It's one of my last Gen Ed requirements. Nothing like being the senior in 'Intro to Psych.'"

He opened his mouth, a retort on the tip of his tongue when a new singer came up on stage for karaoke. "I hate this song," she confessed.

"What? Who hates 'If I Had A Million Dollars?' I mean, really? Haven't you always wanted a monkey?" He raised the pitch of his voice on the last syllable, replicating the signature squeak-like sound from that verse.

She laughed. "No, no monkeys. I'd probably be OK hunting a monkey, though."

She laughed harder when he jaw dropped. "Hunt a monkey? That's just cruel. What'd the monkey ever do to you?"

"In some parts of Asia, they're seen as a nuisance. I'd be doing a favor, actually."

"You're serious? About hunting, I mean?" he asked, genuinely surprised by her hobby of choice.

She nodded. "My father taught me how to hunt when I was a kid. Had to protect the homestead from wolves and mountain lions somehow."

"Well look at you, a regular old Grizzly Adams." He held his glass up in mock approval.

She smiled but shook her head. "Something like that, I suppose. Except I don't think the beard would work so well on me."

He lifted her chin with his fingers and pretended to examine her face before smirking. "True. You don't really have the chin for facial hair."

A heat spread through her body, stemming from the touch of this man she hardly knew. _Must be the booze._

"Kaaaaatniss!" Madge yelled, grabbing her arm from behind. "We're gonna go sing!" She nodded to the empty stage.

"Have fun," Katniss laughed, waving her off. When she was sober and in public, Madge had a quiet charm about her, which was what initially attracted Katniss. But private Madge, the Madge who came out once you got to know her, was a flamboyant character who happily flirted with whoever she could, man or woman. Alcohol brought 'private Madge' out in public. And, apparently, that meant singing 'Wannabe' with a group of equally drunk girls.

"You want another?" Katniss saw him indicate to her empty pitcher.

She craned her neck to check bar time on the digital clock on the wall. 12:05. They had another two hours to kill, knowing Madge would want to stay until they were kicked out.

"Uh, sure." She shifted in her seat to get her money when he waved her effort off.

After he left, she turned her attention back to the stage, where the girls were now dancing along and really not caring about what words were actually on the screen. When they finished, Madge bounded over and plopped down in Katniss' lap. "Having fun? I see you've been flirting with Mr. Hottie-with-the-Body all night," she giggled slightly.

Katniss flushed. "I was not flirting with him. We're just talking. And 'Hottie-with-the-Body?' Really, Madge?"

Madge scoffed. "Puh-lease, Katniss Everdeen. You liiiike him."

"Come off it, Madge. I do not." Sometimes Katniss really hated drunk Madge.

Madge shrugged. "Can't let a piece like that get away too easily. Who knows who might pick him up."

"Right," Katniss mumbled, knowing that Madge may very well be the 'who knows' who picked him up. It wouldn't be the first time it happened. It wasn't like she tried to be more charming than Katniss, it just didn't take much. And it wasn't her fault she was blessed with good genes and killer curves. Men gravitated toward Madge in a way they never did toward Katniss. It wasn't personal and Katniss trusted that if she ever, miraculously, was interested in someone, Madge would respect that.

When Peeta came back, Madge snatched an empty cup from the table. "Well thank you, Handsome. How'd you know I'd drink whatever Katniss drank?" she winked as he poured. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Madge."

"Peeta," he shook her outstretched hand. "You're the best friend slash roommate."

Madge slid off of Katniss' lap into the empty seat between them. Katniss tried not to let her deepening scowl show too much as Madge and Peeta fell into an easy conversation. She didn't like Peeta like that, but she was genuinely enjoying the conversation. Once drunk Madge started talking, it could be difficult to get a word in.

She could tell she wasn't going to be missed, so she excused herself out on account of 'needing air,' the not-so-secret code for a cigarette. She was relieved to see Gale leaning against the wall. Katniss bumped her shoulder into him. "They let you off guard duty?"

"Ah, Catnip!" he exclaimed, hugging her side. "I didn't think I'd see you again, what with Blondie fetching your drinks all night."

Katniss accepted the cigarette once dangling from his lips. "Turns out 'Blondie' likes his own kind. Newly single Madge is drunk. And in major self-destruct mode," she smirked, knowing Gale would understand exactly what that meant.

Of all people, Gale would be the one to commiserate with her. He hooked up with Madge once during their junior year, right before she started dating the reason for her current destruction, and wasn't subtle about wanting more with her. She strung him along for a few weeks after but then she met Marvel. She had, on many occasions, drunkenly confessed to Gale that she made a mistake and should have given him another chance. But Gale was respectful and never reminded her of her words once she sobered up.

Katniss knew they weren't just drunken thoughts because she vividly remembered an incident when another woman spent the entire night talking to Gale and Madge responded by yelling at him for being unprofessional. She later divulged to Katniss that he kissed her that night, but she slapped him and ran out. The two were on shaky ground ever since.

"I have to get back to the bar. Those beers aren't going to pour themselves," he said, tossing the butt out the window onto the sidewalk. "You want another before I head back in?"

She shook her head and tossed hers out, too. "No, I'm good. Just needed a break."

He slung his arm around her shoulders and grinned. "If you want, I can think of a way to make at least one of them jealous enough to ditch the other."

She scrunched her face at his suggestion. "Gale Hawthorne, I know some girls are into the scruffy bartender thing, but I can assure you I'm not one of them. Not even pretending. Besides, I don't want to make anyone jealous, I just..."

"Whatever you say, Catnip. You want a drink?" He slipped back behind the bar and gave one of the other bartenders, a redhead named Darius, a slap on the back.

"Oh well look who it is, Katniss Everdeen," Darius announced, reaching across the bar to pull on her braid. "Finally going to take me up on my offer?"

She groaned. "Darius, your 'offer' was as Gale's wingman when he first met Madge and needed you to keep me company. Mistake number one was telling me that."

Gale doubled over in laughter as Darius' face matched his hair. "Let me make it up to you. Fancy a shot?"

"Sorry, but it's going to take more than a shot of 'Salty Sailor' to make up for being the grenade," she answered with a wink, pushing away from the bar.

"I'm not giving up on you, Everdeen!" he called after her.

"In your dreams, Darius!"

"Don't tease the man!"

She laughed as Gale attempted to defend his wingman's honor. The two had some weird bromance which meant when she hung out with one, she got the other as well. Darius was a nice enough guy; she didn't dislike him for proclaiming his wingman status that night, but she knew it embarrassed him whenever she brought it up.

"Katniss!" Madge cheered upon her return. "You're back!" She stumbled out of her seat in an effort to hug her roommate. "We missed you."

_I'm sure you did_, she thought to herself, but smiled nonetheless. She gave a sigh of relief when Leevy pulled Madge away for 'one more song.'

"Your friend slash roommate is quite a chatterbox. Cute girl," Peeta quipped, a piece of ice between his front two teeth. "She asked me out."

Katniss caught the eye of Madge, who smiled and did some ridiculous shimmy. She knew what to do, having been in a similar position with Gale when he first showed interest. "Yeah, she's a great girl. She, uh, loves Chinese food and really bad horror movies - the ones that are actually funny and not scary at all."

"I told her no."

She eyed him, suspiciously. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to go out with her."

He answered as though it was so simple. As though it were obvious he didn't want to date Madge. And for some reason she couldn't understand, she saw red. "Why the hell not? Madge is a great catch and, frankly, you must be a total idiot if you think you can do any better than her. What is so wrong with her that you wouldn't want to date her?"

"Calm down, firecracker. There's nothing wrong with your friend, though I'd be more afraid of you if I wanted to date her. You're worse than an overprotective father." He was laughing but she didn't see what was so damn funny. "Look, I just got out of something not too long ago so I'm not really looking to start anything new."

She set her lips in a thin line. "It's just a date, Peeta."

"From a girl who just got screwed over. To a guy who goes big or goes home."

His breath wisped across her cheek and she could make out the faint whiff of whiskey on him. Involuntarily, her eyes closed and she inhaled. Was she relieved that he wasn't into Madge? She was surprised, because she couldn't remember the last guy who said so. Well, Darius used the 'who wants a girl everyone else wants' line, which Katniss interpreted as more of an insult than a compliment.

"Besides," he added, "she's not really my type."

She cocked an eyebrow. "No? And what is your type?"

"I like girls who hate psychology." The shocked look must have immediately registered on her face because he laughed heartily and covered her hand in his. "I'm kidding, Katniss."

The rest of the girls came back to the table, all drunk, most trying to flirt with Peeta, much to the chagrin of Katniss and the guys trying to flirt with them. They all started talking about the after party they were all going to in one of the guys' garage. Leevy looked expectantly at Madge who was back on Katniss' lap, head resting on her shoulder, twiddling with the edge of her braid.

"Madge?" Katniss poked her in the side. "Leevy wants to know if you want to go to an after party."

"When?" She mumbled into Katniss' shoulder.

"Tonight, honey. Right now."

Madge let out a garbled groan and Katniss bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from laughing too hard. "I think she's out tonight. Sorry."

Leevy pouted dramatically but they all said their goodbyes and headed out, wanting to get to the liquor store before it closed. Most of the bar crowd was making their way to the exit, obviously with the same intent as Leevy's group.

"Katniss?" Madge whined in a quiet voice, "I'm hungry."

"Want me to make you some toast when we get home?"

Madge shook her head in a pitiful way that Katniss would later make fun of her for. When the girl hit her limit, she hit it hard. "Want oatmeal."

"You ate the last of the oatmeal this morning, remember?"

She finally lifted her head off of Katniss' shoulder. "I did?" Her eyes were bloodshot and her hair had about doubled in size from the humidity.

"Let me take you guys to breakfast," Peeta offered. The girls' responses could not have been more opposite. Madge smiled brightly and accepted his offer at the same time that Katniss scowled and refused it. They then got into a silent stare until he spoke up again. "I'm just saying, you both need to sober up before you go home and Perkins is just down the street."

"I'm gonna throw up." Madge scrambled off of Katniss' lap and stumbled toward the bathroom. Katniss didn't miss that Gale swiftly made his way toward the bathroom shortly after, with a concerned look on his face.

"Thanks for the offer, but I should really get her home as soon as possible." It didn't take Madge long to return, sheepishly chewing on a piece of cinnamon gum, with her hair pulled back from her face. She was a champ at the 'puke and rally' routine, as she was now walking much less wobbly than before. Katniss was just glad that she wouldn't have to carry the girl into their apartment now.

"Sorry," she offered, her face flushed with embarrassment. "Gale said he could take me home if you wanted to stay." She tried to be sneaky about her glances at Peeta as she said this, but her intent was clear.

"No, I'm ready to head out." Katniss smiled at Peeta. "Are you going to be OK to drive?"

Something flashed across his face but it was too quick for her to catch. "I'll be fine. Will you let me know when you get home? It's the responsible adult in me."

She saw Gale from the corner of her eye motioning for them. "Yeah, of course. I, uh, I don't have your number, though."

He smirked. _Damnit._ She begrudgingly handed him her phone, upset that he bested her once again.

"See you around, Katniss," he called to her retreating figure. She looked over her shoulder at him. She stopped in her tracks, seemingly spellbound by the blond-haired, blue-eyed man who sought her out tonight, who turned down her beautiful roommate, and spent the entire night talking to her. Smiling at her. Making her skin flush and her stomach flip. Perhaps she misjudged him at the bookstore; maybe he wasn't just another Greek letter-toting douchebag. Then again, maybe the beer was blurring her judgment. It wouldn't be the first time she had been misled by a charming smile after a pitcher of beer. It was how she met Cato, after all.

"Coming, Catnip?" Gale called, his arm wrapped around Madge's waist.

"Yeah," she answered, thoroughly confused.

* * *

_2:30am. Katniss. /Sorry for the late text. We got home. All safe and sound./  
_

_2:34am. Peeta. /Good. Was getting worried about you. Had fun tonight./_

* * *

"Is the princess finally asleep?" Katniss asked, accepting a bottle of Heineken he brought in from his truck and tucking her phone in her pocket.

He laughed and popped the cap off his own. "I think so. Either that or my kissing skills are in terrible need of assistance."

"I don't need the details, Hawthorne."

He waggled his eyebrows at her. "What's wrong, Catnip? Don't want to hear about the scandalous affairs of your roommate and former lab partner?"

"Not particularly." She tilted her bottle in his direction. "But the lipstick smeared all over your lips and the hickey forming on your neck tell me all I need to know." She laughed as he furiously began rubbing his face to wipe the remnants off.

"Fuck you, Katniss. Don't be jealous because I'm finally getting some and you aren't.

"You keep telling yourself that, Gale, but $50 says she winds up cuddling with me rather than you tonight." She smirked. "And what makes you think I'm not getting any?"

"Because when she wasn't giving me hickeys, your roommate blabbered on about how you should screw Blondie before you forget how to. Or, as she called him-"

"Mr. Hottie-with-a-Body," Katniss supplied. "Yes, she enlightened me earlier about it. Clever girl."

"So are you going to?"

"Going to what?" She downed the rest of her beer, and acknowledging that she would regret every drop of alcohol she had consumed that night, grabbed another bottle off the island in the kitchen.

"Screw Blondie."

"Jesus, Gale! Warn a girl before you go fucking insane." She wiped the slight dribble of beer that fell from her lips with the back of her hand.

"So you don't want to? You should. Maybe it would get tiny-dick out of your head."

"I'm so glad you have nicknames for the men in my life, Gale. Really, it's sweet." She smirked, taking a drink. "I never really thanked you for that. Childish as it may have been, I appreciate it."

He waved her off. "Don't mention it. None of us liked Cato even before you started dating him. We just needed a better excuse to say shit other than him just being an ass." He glanced over to Madge's door. "How's she been doing? Speaking of asses."

Katniss shook her head. "She's dealing, and not in the most healthy way. But it's definitely not the worst coping mechanism she's ever used. She'll be fine."

"How long should I wait?"

"This time?" she sighed, wondering just how honest he wanted her to be. "Just don't push her unless you want to get destroyed. Her rebounds don't last too long, and as much as I like you, you know Madge would get me in the divorce. Don't worry your pretty little head about it, Hawthorne, I'm taking care of her."

He silently finished his beer and Katniss was glad for it. She believed that he cared for the girl as much as he could, but Gale often showed the emotional depth of a teaspoon. And he had no idea what she was going through, as much as he tried. It was Katniss who had been taking care of Madge and she was the only one who could help.

"Cut the sappy shit. One more beer?"

* * *

'One more beer' turned into polishing off the six pack of Heineken and the half bottle of vodka in the freezer. Gale fell asleep in the recliner and was snoring loudly by the time Katniss stumbled into the bathroom. Drunk or not, her body had a nighttime routine she never broke. Routine was a comfort to her; it kept her sane and 'sane Katniss' was a happy Katniss. Her contacts stuck to her eye and she hissed as she dropped them in their case.

_3:27am. Katniss. /We should hang out again sometime./  
_

_3:31am. Peeta. /Now that I have your number./_

She smirked around her toothbrush, toothpaste foaming from her mouth. She closed one eye, trying to make the second cell phone screen in her vision disappear.

_3:37am. Katniss. /You must think you're pretty damn smart don't you, Mr. Tricky?/  
_

_3:42am. Peeta. /They don't just hand out PhD's to everyone who asks./  
_

_3:43am. Katniss. /Meh./_

She stripped off her jeans and crawled into bed, pulling her blankets over her head in anticipation of the Sunday morning church service that would inevitably float through her open window and wake her up at 8:30. Like clockwork.

_4:05am. Katniss. /Are you still awake?/  
_

_4:08am. Peeta. /Insomniac. Always awake./  
_

_4:10am. Katniss. /Creepy. Go to sleep./_

* * *

Sure enough, at 8:30am, Katniss woke up with a pounding headache, cotton mouth, and a face full of blonde hair.

'Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from Heaven above...'

She groaned. "Why can't your awesome God sleep in on Sundays like normal people?"

Madge snorted. "My window faces the other direction." She yawned and rolled over, blue eyes peeking through the mess of hair. "So worth having to walk further to get to the bathroom."

"I hate you." Katniss pulled her pillow over her head and squeezed it around her ears. "Is Gale still here?" she mumbled.

"Why would Gale be here?" Suddenly Madge's face is next to Katniss', buried under the pillow.

"He brought us home last night."

"Oh. No. No! Katniss!" Madge hissed, eyes now wide open. "Did we do anything?"

"What do you remember doing?"

Madge blushed. "It's fuzzy," she admitted, "I remember him saying really sweet things about me and that I deserved better and that he promised he would never make me cry. Then we kissed. When I woke up, I heard your phone buzz so I came in here and fell asleep again." She closed her eyes as the singing outside started up again, this time with the addition of an electric guitar. "What time did all of this happen?"

Katniss chuckled. "Shit, I don't know. He put you to bed as soon as we got home, then we drank some more. He passed out on the recliner around...um...3ish, maybe?" Her phone started buzzing, causing her to sit up far too quickly for her aching head. She swatted the covers and eventually felt the vibration on her foot.

"I left my glasses in the bathroom. Will you read it?" Katniss handed her phone to Madge to read. She could have read it, but she would need to squint and didn't want to make her headache any worse than it already was.

_8:42am. Gale. /Fuck this noise, Everdeen. What are they so excited about? God will love them all day, not just this early./_

"He's still here. And he's not nearly as excited about Jesus as the First Evangelical Free Church people outside." Madge started giggling, scrolling down to read his entire message when she gasped and dropped the phone in front of her. "Oh, my."

Katniss scowled. "What?" She reached for her phone and held it inches from her nose. The screen was still fuzzy so she rubbed her eyes to clear them.

_4:12am. Peeta. /It'd be easier to sleep if you were with me./  
_

_4:14am. Katniss. /You think we'd be sleeping?/  
_

_4:16am. Peeta. /Whatever could you be implying?/  
_

_4:17am. Katniss. /You're the psych guy. Use that perverted sex-infused imagination all of you have. Imagine it with me./  
_

_4:21am. Peeta. /You're killing me. Go to sleep, you tease./  
_

_4:22am. Katniss. /Sweet, sordid dreams, Peeta. ;-) /_

"Katniss Everdeen!" Madge shrieked. "You were sexting someone. Not just some someone, but the hot guy from the bar who was completely into you!"

Katniss horrifically stared at her phone as the screen faded to black. "What?!" she sputtered. "I wasn't, I was not _sexting_ anyone," she answered, in as controlled a voice as she could muster. She wasn't exactly positive what 'sexting' was, but the way the girls in her classes talked, it involved pictures you wouldn't want your mother to see. And she was 100% certain she was not so drunk that she'd have forgotten taking naked pictures of herself. She quickly checked her phone gallery, just to make sure, and let out a sigh of relief when the first picture that came up was one of her and Madge at a bonfire the night after their last final.

"If not sexting, then flirting. Hard. Almost had me fooled, Everdeen."

"I was drunk. Let's not start talking about the things certain people do when they've been drinking," Katniss answered with a knowing smirk. Madge threw a pillow at her and Katniss launched herself at her friend, pillows in both hands.

"Okay! Okay! Uncle!" Madge squealed. "I'm hungry. Want to get breakfast?"

They found Gale sprawled on the rickety recliner where he fell asleep, his feet tangled in the thin blanket Katniss left for him. "Morning starshine," Katniss greeted him. "Breakfast?"

He yawned and stretched his limbs beyond the chair. The bottom hem of his t-shirt rose up, exposing a strip of dark hair down his stomach. She didn't dare look over at Madge, who was most likely blushing. "I'm game. Where at?"

"Your choice, Hawthorne, since you'll be buying."

"How do you figure that, Catnip?"

Katniss wrapped her arms around Madge's middle. "I believe you owe me $50. Breakfast is just the start."

* * *

After breakfast, Gale dropped them off at the bar to get Katniss' car. The girls spent the rest of the day lounging around their apartment, neither able or willing to do too much on the day before summer classes started. Madge had a Business Leadership Seminar that would last all summer, as opposed to just 6 weeks, like Katniss' psychology course. Katniss cracked her book open, determined to have some idea of what she was getting herself into, but the words just swirled around the page every time she tried. She threw the book into the corner of the living room and got lost in the mindless reality show Madge wanted to watch.

She purposely left her phone in her room. Madge had hers and anyone who really needed her could get a hold of her that way. She was embarrassed by her behavior the night before. At the time, she blamed the beer. But in the harsh, hungover light of day, she realized it was Gale's implication that she should use Peeta to get over Cato and all the talk of Madge's relationship status. Normally those jabs and comments didn't affect her, and she didn't know what possessed her to be so brazen to a guy she just met. It wasn't at all her, at least not anymore. She used to be less rigid and more carefree with people, but that was a long time ago.

She considered apologizing but talked herself out of it. He was most likely not sober last night and potentially embarrassed about it, too. He had flirted with her at the bar but it seemed like normal, everyday flirting. Nothing directed at her personally. Apologizing meant bringing it up. It'd be easier to forget it happened. He'd figure out she wasn't like that sooner or later, and stop texting her all together.

Which was just as well. If she never saw Peeta again, she'd be just fine.

_12:02pm. Peeta. /Katniss? We need to talk./  
_

_2:34pm. Peeta. /Seriously, I need to talk to you. Text me or call me./  
_

_4:15pm. /Missed call./  
_

_7:50pm. /Missed call./  
_

_10:25pm. Peeta. /I'm sorry if I crossed a line with you last night. I'd understand if you're upset. But we really need to talk about your class tomorrow./_

She read over his texts a few times. She let Madge read them before asking her advice, which, of course, was to call and find out what he wanted. "Why do I even bother asking you anything?" she half-jokingly responded. "I'm going to shower. Maybe that'll clear my head."

She crawled into bed after a quick exchange with Gale who told her the same thing Madge had, more determined NOT to answer just because she knew she should. Which was stupid.

_11:15pm. Katniss. /Sorry, got caught up in other stuff. Have to get some sleep so I don't fall asleep in class but let's talk after./_

* * *

The line at the local coffee shop was out of control, but that's what she got for going before a 9am class on the first day. As she waited for the horde of girls in front of her to order their iced mocha latte, no whip, extra shot, sugar free hazelnut syrup monstrosities, she impatiently tapped her foot and checked her watch every few minutes. When it was finally her turn, she quickly rambled her usual order – a large cinnamon chai tea. The redhead behind the counter sighed in relief and asked if she wanted a muffin or a cookie on the house, just for having a 'normal order.'

Katniss slinked her way through Baker Hall, the natural and social science building, which was just as crowded as during a normal semester. She took the stairs two at a time; the holdup at the coffee shop made her five minutes behind her planned schedule. She always arrived at class early to get all of her things properly situated on her desk without feeling rushed. Rushed meant out of control and more often than not, out of control led to a panic attack. She was hoping to continue avoiding panic attacks in class.

Luckily, the 3rd floor was nowhere near as full as first floor and she pushed into Baker 353, sliding into the seat closest to the door in the back row. Other students began clamoring in, some more awake than others, but she ignored them as she pulled out her textbook and a brand new spiral notebook. She began carefully writing the name of the class, room, and time, on the inside front cover.

She heard the door fly open and could feel the floor vibrate under the heavy footsteps of whoever was trying to sneak in. She gloated to herself. _If you're going to be late, at least be quiet about it._

"Sorry for the delay, guys. Somehow I managed to get lost between 23rd Street and the faculty parking lot."

_Oh, crap._

"Here is the syllabus, if you wouldn't mind passing them around, we can get started and probably get out of here early. Enjoy this warm weather, huh?"

_No. No no no no no._

"Contrary to what your online schedule says, my name is not 'Staff.'"

The room chuckled but Katniss continued shaking her head in disbelief. _This cannot be happening to me._

The professor cleared his throat. "Uh, my name is Dr. Mellark. And while some professors insist upon formality, I still haven't gotten used to it yet. So feel free to call me 'Peeta' or 'Mellark' or whatever makes you comfortable."

She broke her eyes away from the blank notebook page in front of her as the stack of syllabi came to her. Sure enough. Peeta. Mr. Hottie-with-the-Body, Mr. Muscles, was standing in front of the room.

_Fuck me._

* * *

AN:

This little nugget was born over coffee with Chelzie during winter break. She's been fabulous throughout this entire process, ps.

I don't own THG or any characters you first part of summary is from Grey's Anatomy, so I don't own that either

No offense to sorority/fraternity people, especially the Gamma Phi Beta's and the PIKES.

You can find me on tumblr (check my profile)


	2. Chapter 2

_Three weeks later_

Katniss stomped up every stair to her third floor apartment, perfectly content to continue the tantrum she had been having all day. The neighbors would be getting ready to settle down for the night and were probably grumbling to one another about all the ruckus in the hallway. But none would suspect 'the quiet girl in 326' being capable of such noise, so she didn't concern herself with the potential complaint they could file with the landlord.

It had been a terrible day. And it all started where most of her stress seemed to start from. Dr. Peeta fucking Mellark.

_Earlier that morning_

She avoided him during the first half of the summer semester. She sat in the back, didn't raise her hand, and snuck out as soon as he dismissed them. When they had to turn assignments in, she handed hers to the boy a few seats down who seemed content to be the errand boy for the back row. She noticed that Peeta, _Dr. Mellark,_ would look in her direction during his lectures. They were fleeting glances, under the guise of scanning the room, but she knew better. He held her eyes a hair longer than anyone else's.

No one noticed. No one suspected.

"Before I let you guys out, I wanted to give each of you an idea of where you stand in the class. If there was one thing I hated about my classes, it was having no idea how I was doing." He handed a sheet of paper to the girl in the front row whose exposed skin grew each day of class. "Just go ahead and find the alphanumeric code you assigned yourself at the beginning of the semester and next to it will be your points so far and current grade. If you have any questions, feel free to ask and you can head out once you're comfortable with your grade, last person to see it can just bring it down here. We'll go over your midterms next time."

It felt like a ploy to make her stay longer, since she would be the last student to see the grade report. Smooth. Annoying as hell, but smooth. She debated not even checking; she had done well on the assignments and felt confident about their first test last week. She wasn't worried about her grade.

Everyone else stayed in their seats until they saw their scores, which ruined her chance of a stealthy exit. The wait was unbearable and when the report finally made its way to the back row, she eagerly started tapping her fingers on her desk.

As it slid in front of her, she quickly scanned for her code near the top of the list. KE0508. 82. B.

_What the hell?_ A B? She was getting a B? Katniss Everdeen did not get B's, especially in intro level courses. Something had to be wrong, there had to be a mistake. Maybe he was mad that she didn't go to breakfast with him that night. Or called him back before class. Or ignored him ever since. It was a petty thing and just the thought made her so mad she began to shake.

She glanced up at the line forming around Peeta. _Dr. Mellark_. Knowing she'd have to go up anyway to return the grade report, she violently slung her backpack over her shoulder and pushed against the students leaving.

The 'Katniss Everdeen scowl' was in full effect the closer she got to him. The only person left in front of her was the girl from the front row. She was actively pushing her chest toward him, throwing out lines that were straight from a bad porn. "But Dr. Mellark, I need to do well in this class. There's got to be something I can do to raise my grade." Katniss wanted to vomit. It was trashy, the way this adult woman was trying to use sex to make up for her shortcomings. Worse, she wasn't even trying to be subtle about her intentions.

"I'm sorry, Cashmere, but the only thing to do is study harder for the next test. If you do well on it, I don't see any reason why you can't get this up to a passing grade," he smiled sympathetically at her.

"The material is just so hard. Maybe I need a tutor or something." There was that cheap porn star act again, emphasizing 'hard' and 'tutor' and giggling suggestively. She even went so far as to brush her fingers over his forearm.

He nodded. "Academic Success can set you up with someone. A tutor is a great idea if you're having a difficult time grasping the concepts. Their number is on the syllabus." He smirked at this and pulled his arm away, just out of her reach. If Katniss wasn't so angry, she'd give him credit for using her own ridiculous ideas against her. But she was angry so she refused to acknowledge it.

Cashmere gave him a tight smile before spinning around to leave. The pleased look on Katniss' face dropped when she felt his eyes intently focused on her.

"What can I do for you, Katniss?" Her name dripping from his lips had made a permanent home in her memory and hearing it in real life did more than any memory ever could. His hand was reaching out toward her and she felt a pull in her stomach, suddenly missing the warmth that rushed through her during those few, brief moments of contact. "Do you have a question about your grade?"

That snapped her out of her memory. Her grade. The B. Damnit! "Yes," she set her face into a scowl. "I'm confused." She realized his outreached arm was for the report, so she handed it to him, her breath hitching when his fingers slid over hers. Damnit!

He studied the paper. "I don't know why, you're doing fine in here."

"Fine? You think a B is fine?"

"There's nothing wrong with a B. It's better than average."

Most girls, when they got upset, raised their voices up a few octaves into 'squeaking' territory. Katniss lowered hers until she was practically growling. "I am not average. I do not get B's. I have done well on all my assignments, I know I did well on the test, and yet I have a below satisfactory grade. If this is your way of punishing me for what happened before classes started, then I will take it up with your department head, I swear-"

He slammed his bare hand down on the paper and the echo resonated throughout the nearly empty classroom. "That is enough, Miss Everdeen. It's quite obvious from your _accusations_ that this is not a matter that will be solved quickly. And as there is another class scheduled in here, we will continue this in my office."

Katniss was not intimidated by him and his refusal to handle her issues immediately only fueled her fire. "Fine," she hissed.

"Hey, guys, sorry to do this to you, but can we talk about your grades on the way to my office?" Peeta addressed the two remaining students who were hanging back with an easy-going smile that immediately disarmed the entire room. He packed up his messenger bag and slung it across his body, motioning for them to walk with him. One steely look over his shoulder at Katniss indicated she was to follow as well. She stayed behind him as he explained their grades and what they needed to do to improve. Then he laughed and patted them on the shoulder, promising that they were fully capable of getting out of the class alive.

She absolutely did not focus on how his Oxford button-down stretched across his back. Or how the thin, black suspenders snaked down to his well-tailored slacks that cupped his ass. _Who wears suspenders anymore? Oh, what I wouldn't do to pull his body tight to mine by those thin, black suspenders._ _Damnit, damnit, damnit._

The other professors in the faculty area took no notice of her as they passed, save for one crotchety old man with a beer belly and greasy dark hair who took one look at them and shook his head, muttering about something insert his breath. Peeta unlocked a back office with a crude name plate above it. 'P. Mellark, PhD.'

She stepped inside and was instantly transported to a different world. Rather than the diplomas and awards and academic achievements that lined Dr. Beetee's departmental office, Peeta's walls were covered in oil paintings with sloppy finger painting replicas underneath. His desk was already cluttered, which made her stomach tighten. _Who could work like this?_ Near his computer screen was a small picture frame of him and a stern-looking woman at graduation. Next to it was one of who she presumed was his family, a younger Peeta and the woman again, plus a jolly fellow and two boys slightly older than Peeta. Taped up on his desk was an ink printed photograph of a toddler with blond curls, bright blue eyes, and her face covered in chocolate ice cream. He closed the door behind her and she shuddered at the thought of him pushing her up against it, hands roaming over her – _No. Stop it, Katniss. You're here about your grade._

She sat on the couch that spread across the back wall and waited as he slipped his bag off his shoulder and started rifling through his desk, never once acknowledging her. She quickly grew impatient and cleared her throat. "I just wanted to ask about..." she paused, annoyed that his back was to her.

"Yes, Miss Everdeen, I'm well aware of what you wanted to ask me about." He waved his hand for her to continue.

"I don't think it's fair to penalize me because I turned you down for a date." As the words came out, she realized what she sounded like. Even though she hadn't come up with another explanation for her low grade, it sounds ridiculous that a professor would leverage a grade because he was rejected.

He snorted and finally turned to face her. "You think your grade in my class has more to do with an interaction that occurred before either of us knew who the other was and not because of your actual work? You think I haven't noticed that you've yet to add anything to the conversation, despite my warning that participation was a quarter of your grade?" She squirmed slightly in her seat. His eyes were trained on her and she realized they turned a darker blue when he was upset. She also realized that darker blue made her stomach knot in a totally new way. "I can tell the difference between a student who is struggling because they don't understand but are willing to try and those who obviously understand but don't put forth any effort, Miss Everdeen. Care to venture a guess at which one you are?" He raised both of his eyebrows and waited for her response.

She was stunned into silence, embarrassed that he saw through her disinterest and her assumption that she made an impact on him. She felt just as silly as Cashmere after her failed proposition.

"Your response, or lack thereof, confirms my suspicions." He grabbed a copy of the syllabus. "You're not out of the running for an A. Just, talk in class. You know the material, so feel free to jump in. And improve your assignments beyond the average work you've been turning in and you'll be fine."

"Average work?" She spit out. "My work is not average. I am an A student, I have a 3.97 GPA. How dare you insinuate that I am average." She was furious. If there was one thing Katniss Everdeen could always have some control over, it was her school work.

"Your grade would suggest otherwise."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Is there anything else, Dr. Mellark?"

She was so busy being mad that she didn't see the way he stiffened at her use of his title. He leaned in closer to her. "You tell me, Katniss. You're the one unhappy with your grade."

She swallowed hard. Thoughts of just leaning a few more inches closer and feeling his lips against hers raced through her brain, along with mental images of him laying her out along the couch, eyes dark with lust and wanting. _Damnit._

Katniss hated the effect he was having on her, making it too easy to remember that she was mad. "No, sir." She stormed out of his office, letting the door slam shut behind her. She passed by the old professor again, who was still watching her with a suspicious accusation on his lips.

She still had an hour until Beetee expected her in the lab, but she knew he wouldn't care if she showed up early. She pulled her ugly purple polo out of her bag and ripped it on over her head, muttering and cursing 'Dr. Peeta Mellark' and his stupid eyes.

"You seem stressed, Katniss," Dr. Beetee said, in an odd moment of humanity. He was too smart for most people and was often labeled as a total kook by his students. His inability to relate to the average person was what originally attracted Katniss to his lab. They didn't often communicate with one another beyond him giving her instructions when she came in and her giving him an update as she left.

His passing statement caught her off guard. "What?"

He pushed his thick glasses up his nose. "You've nearly sliced that little guy in two with just your tweezers."

She sighed, blowing the few strands of hair that escaped out of her face. "Sorry, Dr. Beetee, I just, I had a meeting with a professor that didn't go very well. Guess I'm still in my head about it."

"Why don't you spend the afternoon in the research room? Start putting together the manual for the exhibition. That way you can't hurt any more of our honored guests."

As he chuckled at his own joke, she snapped offher rubber gloves and chucked them into the disposal. The research room was where most of the other student workers spent their days, hunched over computers or highlighting reports or flipping through thick journals that hadn't been scanned into the system yet. She selected a computer as far away from the crowd as possible and opened up the Beetle Exhibition file.

"I hear he's brand new this year, fresh out of graduate school."

"I wish he taught in the Chem department. We could use some young, sexy blood over there."

"Almost makes you wish you hadn't gotten all your gen eds out of the way early, huh? I'd love to lay on his couch for an examination."

"I bet he's got one hell of a Freudian slip, if you know what I mean."

"You are so bad! Oh, come on, if we hurry, we may be able to catch him on his jog. It's hot so hopefully he's already lost his shirt."

Katniss stared at the retreating figures of the two girls who had disturbed her silence. They had been gossiping for the past few hours about anything and everything, including some of the young, hotshot professors brought in to breathe some new life into the university. There was a lit professor, who made a student cry because he stupidly referenced the 'bathtub scene' when she asked if anyone had ever read 'The Scarlet Letter' on the first day of classes. Then there was the new art history professor who was married to the biology professor that had more "peppers" next to his name on than any professor at any university. And of course, the current object of their affection, who she was quite certain from their stupid puns was not Dr. Odair. Katniss pitied their meaningless existence that they were reduced to gossiping about other people.

"Holy hell, you'd think those girls never saw an attractive man before." A voice piped up from the computer terminal next to Katniss. She didn't even notice that anyone was there when she originally chose her spot. "If they hadn't left I swear, I would have-"

"Oh stop, Rue," a deep male voice rumbled from across the room with a slight chuckle. "You wouldn't have done anything and you know it.

The girl next to Katniss popped her head past the side of her terminal and stuck her tongue out at the hulking boy who was also peering out. She laughed and turned to Katniss. "Don't pay any attention to Thresh. He's just butt hurt because he always gets stuck next to those girls. And they don't talk about how 'sexy' he is."

Thresh snorted.

"I'm Rue. Physics. You?"

Katniss stared the girl who didn't look old enough to drive, let alone be in college. "Katniss. Um, biology. I usually work downstairs with Dr. Beetee."

"You work with Beetle Beetee?" Thresh asked.

Katniss scowled. "Dr. Beetee is a premier entomologist. He has received numerous grants from the State Department and his work has directly influencesecology policy both here and abroad. His research brings this center more funding than any other professor and I'll be damned if I let you make fun of him."

Rue and Thresh looked at each other, then back at Katniss, before they both started laughing. "Katniss," Rue smiled, "We're not making fun of him. The first time we met him he talked about his work and said 'I guess you could call me Beetle Beetee," she shrugged. "We've been doing it ever since."

"Beetee's a kook, man. You're lucky you work with him and not 'Flotsam' and 'Jetsam' like I have to," Thresh added. "I swear, all they've talked about all summer is that professor. What's his name again, Rue?"

"Mellark. Over in Psychology." Rue answered. "Have you repressed that little nugget of information, Thresh?" She clasped her hands together under her chin and dramatically batted her eye lashes. "'He's so dreamy,'" she mocked. "He's probably not that attractive anyway."

Katniss fought the snarl brought on by Rue's off-handed comment. "Have you ever seen him?" she asked quietly.

"Nope. But apparently he goes running by here every day," Thresh offered.

"What time?" Rue asked. Thresh gave her a suspicious look and she smiled sheepishly. "I just want to see what all the fuss is about."

Thresh shook his head. "What is today? Wednesday? Um," he leaned over and peered into the terminal next to him. "They've got it down to sometime between 3 and 4."

"It's just past 3 now. Let's go check it out!" Rue shut the journal she was going through and pulled at Katniss' arm. Katniss tried to protest but the tiny girl wouldn't listen. Even Thresh got dragged along, although he covered it up by claiming he needed his nicotine fix.

They leaned against the wall of the center, where the roof came over the edge and created shade. Thresh lit a cigarette and Rue would cough obnoxiously whenever he exhaled. He countered by blowing smoke in her face. The sidewalk in front of the lab was part of the most popular jogging path on campus and every time someone ran by, Rue would make commentary about if she thought he was who they were looking for.

Katniss absentmindedly picked at a few blades of grass, not particularly excited to see him after what happened that morning. _Rue will get tired of this game eventually_, she thought, _then we can go back inside and finish our work._

"Ooh." Rue's soft voice broke through. Katniss looked up and, sure enough, there he was, in those same Under Armour gym shorts he wore at the bookstore. His curls were drenched in sweat but still determined to fly into his face. With the sun beating down onto his bare chest, because of course he was running without his shirt, she made out the muscles in his stomach that were starting to form and the inked symbol over his left pec that she couldn't completely make out from this distance.

She watched as sweat dripped down his body as he ran, from the damp curls that clung to his neck and forehead down his neck, behind his ear. Another traveled his chest, disappearing below the waistband of his shorts. Unconsciously, she wetted her lips, the desire to trace that bead of sweat's journey down his body with her tongue clearly in her mind.

_What would his skin taste __like_, she wondered. Would it be masculine and salty, as she imagined it to be now, or would it be more reminiscent of earlier that morning, in his office, of cinnamon and dill? Would his abs ripple like that when he was hovering above her? When he pushed into her?

She was vaguely aware of her bottom lip under her teeth. Of her own fingers looped around the waistband of her khaki shorts. Of how tightly she clenched her thighs at the thought of him between them. Of how much, in that very moment, she wanted him.

"I hate when those girls are right. That is a certified Dr. Hot Stuff."

Dr. Professor. Her professor. Damnit.

"You girls get your fill? Or will you be making spectacles of yourselves every day from here on out?" Thresh's teasing made Rue slap his arm and distracted them both from the rising flush on Katniss' neck and face. "Let's go back in before we melt in this heat."

"So, Katniss, he's cute, right?"

_4:45pm. Peeta. /You should tell your friend that smoking is bad for him./_

She almost threw her phone across the room.

She was still frustrated when she got to her apartment. When Madge and Gale, who had made himself at home as their unofficial third roommate recently, tried to ask her what was wrong, she grumbled something about bastards who are ruining her GPA and running without shirts.

"I have to work in the morning so you two better keep it the fuck down!" she hollered from her room before slamming the door shut. Madge looked up from whatever magazine she was flipping through at Katniss' closed door and sighed.

"Do you want to deal with her or should I?" she asked, leaning her head on Gale's chest.

* * *

That weekend, Katniss begrudgingly took Dr. Mellark's words about the effort she put into her assignments to heart and began work on her final project. They were tasked to write an analysis of any popular movie or television show, using evidence provided in class or textbooks, which would indicate they actually learned anything in the class. She knew, from the random snippets of conversations she overheard in class, that most people were picking easy options; _A Beautiful Mind_, _Girl Interrupted_, and _Monster_ were currently the top three among her classmates.

She still had three weeks until the end of the semester and the paper only had to be five pages, but she was determined to prove to him that she could exceed his current expectations of her. When he called her work, and by extension her, 'average,' the sting stuck with her the rest of the day. It wasn't the first time she had ever been called 'nothing more than average' but she made it a point to never be seen that way again, by anyone. It was why she poured herself into her classes and refused to settle for anything less than perfect. She didn't get distracted from her work and she didn't get 'B's.' Katniss Everdeen would never again be told she was 'average.'

She was so engrossed in thumbing through her textbook, trying to find anything about gender roles or power structure that she could stretch to apply to the strong female characters in the 'merry old land of Oz', that she almost missed Madge's attempt to sneak out of the apartment. Almost.

"Going someplace?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow at her roommate. Madge's attire was not her normal bar-look which gained as much attention as possible. Instead, she was in white cotton shorts and a mint green blouse, a look she only wore when she was actually trying to impress someone.

Madge's eyes widened and she fidgeted with her charm bracelet. "Oh, I'm just going to have dinner. With some friends."

"Yeah?" Katniss asked with a smile. "Which friends are you going out with? Have I met them?"

"Ok, Mom," Madge answered, slipping past her to the front door. "I'll be back later. Don't wait up!"

"Seriously, Madge, where are you going?"

Madge stepped back inside and closed the door. "I, uh, I have a date, I guess."

Katniss whistled. "So Gale finally worked up the nerve to ask you out? I'm impressed. Where is Mr. Hawthorne taking you tonight?"

She fidgeted with her charm bracelet again and scrunched her face.

"Madge?" Katniss set her highlighter down and stared at her friend.

"It's not with Gale," Madge mumbled. Katniss cleared her throat so Madge repeated herself more clearly, still refusing to make eye contact. "It's with someone else."

"Obviously."

Madge let out an awkward laugh. "You know, your Alan Rickman impression has come a long way, Everdeen."

"So have your powers of avoidance, Undersee. So you're not going out with Gale tonight, that's fine. I assume that means he won't be doing his laundry here tomorrow? Madge! Stop playing with that damned bracelet and answer my question."

Madge groaned. "I don't know, Katniss, okay? Gale's been great and I know he's interested but..."

"But what? Madge, everyone knows that at the end of the day, you'd rather come back here with him than whoever it is you're going out with tonight. I just don't fucking understand you two." She shook her head and went back to her textbook. "Do what you want, but I'm not getting in the middle of it when he finds out you've strung him along again."

It was mean and hurtful and she knew it. It was exactly what she shouldn't have said to Madge, even if the girl needed to hear it. She was just as likely to internalize Katniss' words as Katniss internalized Peeta's, _Dr. Mellark's_, words. But Gale was her friend, too. And just like she helped Madge get over all of her relationships, she was the one Gale came to with his girl-problems. For a girl who didn't really date, these two seemed to think Katniss was some sort of expert on the subject.

She knew it as soon as she looked up at Madge, whose eyes were welling up with fat tears. "Oh, Madge, I'm sorry." Katniss pushed away from the table and wrapped her arms around Madge's neck.

"I-just-don't-want-to-hurt-him!" she sobbed.

Katniss brushed Madge's hair as the girl continued to cry on her shoulder. "I know you don't. I know, sweetie. Are you going to tell him about this date?"

"I will. Just, not yet. I want to know for sure, you know? I don't want to throw this in his face right now. Promise me you won't say anything about it to him?"

Katniss felt her face betray her. Madge wanted her to lie to Gale? If it was just a date, then why couldn't Gale know about it? If it was more than a date, why wouldn't Madge just say so? It frustrated Katniss because if they continued down the road they were going, at least one of them would end up hurt. And she'd be caught in the crossfire. Which was someplace she did not want to be; not again. It was bad enough the first time.

"Alright. Who is he?"

* * *

Katniss finished her analysis of _The Wizard of Oz_ not long after Madge left for her date. She didn't need to watch the movie to write about it and watching it only reminded her of her sister, which put her in a funk for the rest of the day. After the events of this week, however, she resigned herself to feeling gloomy for the night and gave in. She almost got through Judy Garland singing about happy little bluebirds before her chest tightened and her nose began to sting, warning her of forthcoming tears. The last time she heard this song was at the funeral. It was the one she was supposed to sing but couldn't.

_ 9:22pm. Gale. /Coming out tonight, Catnip?/_

Gale's invitation to go out broke her free of the distant memory. She knew if she told him why she really wasn't going out, he'd get someone to cover his shift and come over. Even though they had never talked about it, she knew that he knew her pain. But she didn't want to see Gale tonight and field his questions about Madge's plans or put up with his newest pastime of mocking her dislike of Dr. Mellark and his class.

_ 9:25pm. Katniss. /Doubtful. I'll just hang out here and check out the terrible infomercials./_

_ 9:57pm. Gale. /You sure? Blondie's here. Looks a little lonely./_

_ 10:02pm. Gale. /He asked about you./_

_ 10:10pm. Gale. /The offer to make him jealous still stands./_

_ 10:13pm. Katniss. /Fuck off, Hawthorne. Go do your job./_

_ 12:05am. Peeta. /Your grade was not personal, Katniss. It had nothing to do with that night./_

_Damn you, Gale Hawthorne. _

She didn't know that when Peeta asked Gale about how Katniss was doing, the bartender started ranting about her idiotic professor who was making her life a living hell. Neither Gale nor Madge knew that 'Peeta' from the bar was the 'Dr. Mellark' Katniss bitched about every day after class. She was certain she'd never hear the end of it from Gale, and Madge would probably start gushing about star-crossed lovers or something like that. Because Gale didn't know the connection, he saw no problem passing along all of Katniss' problems with the class and the professor who had been incredibly rude to her once.

"I told her to just turn the guy in to the Dean for creating a hostile environment or some shit like that, but that just pissed her off more," Gale told him with a laugh. "She told me I had no idea what I was talking about and if she could handle Odair in biology, she could handle this fucker. It was like she flipped a switch or something and suddenly he was the greatest thing since sliced bread with all his 'accomplishments at such a young age' or whatever." He refilled Peeta's glass with Johnnie Walker. "She's a strange one, that Katniss Everdeen. If that temper of hers doesn't scare you off, then you may have more problems than she does."

Peeta just snorted into his glass and listened as the bartender started a new conversation with a gentleman at the end of the bar. The crowd was different tonight than the last time he was here, which he graciously welcomed. He had nothing against the college crowd, given that he wasn't too terribly far removed from them himself yet at the same time, he was no longer part of that group. Katniss had been a refreshing break from most of the women he had seen around town and it afflicted him to hear that she didn't like his class. He had tried to make it as non-awkward as possible when he discovered she was going to be his student but he couldn't force her to participate or give a shit about any of it, even though he saw a marked improvement in her participation last week. He couldn't treat her differently just because she intrigued him.

It was the second part of what the bartender told him that kept him from driving home to finish his own bottle of Walker Black. She defended him. Adamantly defended him, if her friend's retelling of the story was accurate. She could have easily turned him in for inappropriate conduct; even though she wasn't his student at the time and they hadn't actually done anything, the text messages could be enough to cost him his job. He wasn't thinking that night. He knew she was still a student and taking a psychology class that summer, but he couldn't stop himself from wanting to talk to her more. Even now, despite the explicit rules about fraternizing with students, he thought about her.

He probably would have been fine if she hadn't called him 'Dr. Mellark' in such a low tone when she was in his office.

* * *

"Alright, guys, good class. Remember that next week is the last week of class, so your final paper has to be in by Monday." Peeta released the class early and right as Katniss was slipping her notebook into her backpack, she heard him call her name. "Miss Everdeen? Can I see you down here for a moment?"

She scowled at the chorus of "ooooh's" that followed. _What? Are we in elementary school again?_ Katniss waited until the mass of students exited the row and slinked to his desk. She wasn't sure what to expect from this but had heard that when Dr. Mellark called people after class, it was usually to discuss a problem. Of course, she heard that from the kid next to her who only showed up to class once a week, so who knows how reliable he was as a source.

"I wanted to let you know I graded your movie analysis. If you have any questions, let me know." He handed her the paper back and she flipped through it, noticing very few red edit marks. In fact, it was the complete opposite. The margins of her paper were flooded with approval, 'good idea,' 'exactly!' and even a few 'See? I knew you understood this better than you let on.' She flushed slightly when she noticed a citation circled with the note of, 'you didn't have to cite your professor just to get a good grade on this, Everdeen.'

She looked up at him and saw him chuckling to himself as he packed his bag, knowing full well that she had just read that note. She turned to the last page where her grade was written in the bottom corner. _98_.

"Now, if you do half as well on your final as you did on your mid-term, you'll be in the clear to get that 'A' you wanted."

The filter between her quick-to-react brain and mouth must have been broken because she heard the words fly from her mouth before she could stop them. "Are you doing this just to make up for something?"

His exhale was especially pronounced in the quiet room. "I just can't win with you, can I? First you get a grade you're unhappy with and you think it's because I have some unrequited love for you. Then, you turn in one of the best papers I've read from any undergraduate class I've taught and you're unhappy with that grade. I take my job very seriously, Miss Everdeen," he lowered his voice as he walked around the desk and faced her.

She didn't like him being as close to her as he was, just looking at her like that. He was upset, but something in his face made her feel naked and vulnerable. She didn't like it. But she wouldn't be the first to break contact with him. She didn't want to back away and let him win.

"I'm sorry," she breathed, closing her eyes to end the standoff. She expected him to have moved away when she reopened them, but there they were, ridiculously blue, locked on hers. He stepped toward her and set his hand over hers. She inhaled sharply at the contact, just as she had done when he touched her in the bar or when his fingers grazed hers a few weeks ago in class.

She bit the corner of her bottom lip as her stomach twisted and turned. He was closer than before, even if only by a few inches, and she could feel the heat radiating from his body. She tilted her head up as he tilted down and she was glad he wasn't so ridiculously tall that she'd have to stand on her tiptoes. She hadn't told anyone before how she wondered what this moment would feel like.

"Katniss." His lips were nearly on hers and she sighed, suddenly impatient at the lack of contact. Then the heat was gone. She opened her eyes as he pulled away from her, running his hand through his hair. "Oh, God," he muttered, backing to where his bag was sitting on the desk. "I'm sorry, Katniss, that was…totally inappropriate. I really didn't mean for any of that to..." He was breathing heavily and his face was flushed.

"Oh, no," she said, trying to play off the embarrassment she was currently feeling. "Totally inappropriate. But, um, I should get going, I have to work this afternoon and I don't want to be late or my boss will be upset. We have this beetle exhibit coming up and I have to finish setting the beetles and…" She trailed off, knowing she was speaking too quickly and not giving herself enough room for a pause that may reflect her emotion.

"Right. Well, good job on your paper. I mean that, it was really well written." He started toward the door when she called out to him.

"I won't report this." It was the only thing she could think to say. "I mean, nothing happened, so there's nothing to report but I don't want you to worry."

He nodded. "Thanks. Good luck on the final."

When he left the room, she brought her fingers up to her lips, recognizing how close they had come to crossing the line. She didn't do things like this, it wasn't at all her. A crush on a teacher is one thing; girls get them all the time. But to actually act upon it, or nearly act upon it, was a totally different story. She stuffed the report into her backpack and hurried out of the room, needing to get away from the stifling truth of what almost happened. And how badly she wished it had.

* * *

Madge flung open Katniss' bedroom door and leaped onto her bed, right on top of her sleeping roommate.

"Oof! What the fuck, Madge?" Katniss rubbed her eyes and rolled Madge off of her.

"Guess what day it is, today?" Madge asked in a sing-song voice.

"The day I finally make good on my threat to kick you out if you wake me up early on a Saturday?" Katniss grumbled. She turned her head and saw Madge bouncing giddily on the bed. "What in all that is holy has gotten into you?"

"Today, my dear, is my favorite day of the summer."

Katniss groaned and smothered her face with her pillow. "No."

"Yes. This is our last chance to celebrate Cruise Night together and we're taking full advantage of it. You've been done with class for two weeks, so you have no excuse today! Now get up and into the shower. I'll make us a carb-heavy breakfast so we don't get sloshed too early." Madge slapped Katniss' ass before, literally, bouncing out of the room.

Cruise Night. It started as a way for the town to raise money by showcasing classic cars. The night still ended with the mile and a half loop up and down Main Street, but it was the day drinking that led up to the showcase that kept the student body coming every year. Madge had tried to get Katniss to go every year, even before they were legal, but was never successful. This year, she played the guilt card right away, claiming it was the one 'rite of passage' they hadn't experienced together. Then she got Gale and Darius in on it so Katniss had no choice but to relent. She had been hoping they would all forget and let her sleep in today, but that was obviously out of the question.

"What do I even wear to this?" Katniss yelled over the clanging pots and pans in the kitchen.

"Something cute."

"Well, that's helpful," she mumbled to herself, forcing herself out of bed. "You and I both know I don't own anything like that!"

"That's why I'm letting you borrow something of mine. And don't you dare tell me it won't fit you because you know damn well it will."

She smirked when she saw that Madge had laid three ensembles out on Katniss' dresser with a post-it note that read, 'These are your options. Pick one. No complaining.' She reluctantly chose the simplest outfit, dark brown shorts with a floral tank top that clasped in the front with a series of hooks. It was a little girly for her liking, but so were most of the items in Madge's closet.

After her shower, she eyed the stack of pancakes Madge set on the table. "You know eating this means you won't get to drink as much," she warned with a smile.

"Shut your face, Everdeen. These pancakes have gotten many an Undersee through their drunken escapades," Madge answered with a wink. "Fill your plate. The boys will be here soon and you know they won't leave anything behind."

As if on cue, the front door opened and Gale and Darius entered, with cases of beer under each arm. "Cruise Night! To fast cars, drunken girls, and no fear of public intox arrests!" Gale cheered loudly as they both cracked open a can and chugged them.

"It's 9:30, you guys," Katniss said, shoveling a large piece of pancake in her mouth. "Isn't it a little early to be shotgunning beers?"

"Can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning," Darius joked, tugging on Katniss' braid on his way into the kitchen. Madge giggled as Gale pecked her cheek and stole the bite of pancake off her fork. The smile fell when Katniss glared disapprovingly at her. She still hadn't completely forgiven her roommate for not telling Gale about the multiple dates she had been on with the guy from her business seminar.

"So, where to first?"

Cruise Night house parties were loud, crowded, and not at all Katniss' scene. She didn't know anyone at the first house they ventured to, so she followed Madge wherever she went. Including one awkward trip to the bathroom. Gale and Darius ventured to the beer bong competition across the street, ready to, in their words, "Show these babies how to drink like men."

The owners of the house dared Madge to try it, but Katniss volunteered when she caught the fear in Madge's eye. "So what do I do?" She asked, holding the rubber tube in her hand.

"Suck and swallow, baby!" A random guy yelled out, followed by a loud woop and some high fives.

"No shit, Sherlock." She looked back at Darius. "Seriously, how do I do this without getting beer all over me?"

He stepped beside her and held the tube up. "Just keep this above your head. As soon as the beer hits, don't think, just start swallowing. Breathe through your nose and keep your throat relaxed. Whatever you do, don't stop swallowing until it's gone, okay?" He smiled and rubbed her shoulder for encouragement. "They're not timing you or anything. They just don't think a girl can do it, that's all."

Katniss snorted and held the tube up as the boys began pouring two cans of Bud Light into the funnel connected to the tube. She brought the tube to her lips and raised her hand like she saw Gale do earlier. As she dropped it, the boys lifted the funnel and the beer came rushing through the tube.

_Relax. Breathe. Drink. Relax. Breathe. Drink._

It wasn't as hard she thought it would have been. Darius' advice was nearly spot on so she just continued swallowing down the cold beer until no more passed her lips. She pulled the tube out of her mouth and held it up.

"Holy shit! That girl downed it!"

"Damn, that was hot!"

Katniss rolled her eyes at the boys and handed the tube back to them. "How'd I do?" she asked the slacked-jaw trio. Gale was the first to recover and threw his arm around her shoulder.

"I say I'm reconsidering only seeing you as a friend, Catnip."

She elbowed his stomach at the same time that Madge did. "That's not funny, Gale!" But Katniss eventually found herself loosening up, with the help of the bountiful drinks at every house party the foursome meandered to. She didn't know anyone at any of these parties and the other three thought it'd be fun to play a game of 'Let's try to ditch Katniss and laugh at her when she realizes she's alone' every time. She threatened to leash herself to all three of them if they didn't behave.

The day passed quickly and at around 7:30, Gale suggested they head downtown to get good seats. "Seats" was an exaggeration. Some people brought lawn chairs and tarps to lie out on the concrete, and a few of the houses that lined Main Street even had couches on their lawns so they could watch, and drink, in comfort. But most people stood around until they were too drunk and eventually plopped down in the grass or on a curb.

The boys were so proud of themselves for having sweet-talked some regular from the bar to let them all sit in the bed of his pickup in his driveway. The sun was just starting to set and the temperature beginning to drop slowly, so Gale cuddled up next to Madge and shot Katniss a look. She groaned and scooted closer to Darius, who looked like a kid on Christmas morning.

"I knew you'd come around, Katniss," he joked.

"I'm only using you for your body warmth, Darius. So don't get any ideas."

"I'll take what I can get from a pretty little thing like you." He made a big show of flashing Gale a thumbs up from around Katniss' shoulder. She just snorted and shook her head. She could do worse than Darius. He was cute and funny and not actually all that dumb and if Madge ever got her shit together, the four of them would be able to hang out around each other all the time. Sure, she never felt anything spectacular when she was around him, but at least him touching her like this wouldn't get her kicked out of school.

She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder. She could tell he considered resting his head on top of hers but instead just tightened his arm around her.

"Cinnamon chai latte?" Katniss looked up and saw the red haired girl from the coffee shop walk past and wave. "Hey!"

Gale, Madge, and Darius all gave her strange looks until she smiled and waved. "It's the girl from my coffee shop," she mumbled as the red-head came over. "What does it tell you that I've become such a regular that you know my drink order outside of work?"

"No, it's my thing. I like having a familiar face at the shop, makes the days more bearable." She laughed and rested one hand on the truck bed between Katniss' legs. "I'm Jess, by the way. I don't think we've actually met."

"Katniss. And this is Gale, Madge, and Darius." She nodded her head toward each of the rest of the crew.

"Sure, I've seen you guys around before. Katniss is kind of the beacon of hope in that hell hole some days." Jess looked over her shoulder. "I should probably get back to my friends. I just thought I recognized you so I came over to say hi. See you on Monday?"

"Well, my class is over so I'm not really sure, but probably."

Jess' smile widened even further, if that was possible. "Fantastic. See you then, Katniss."

Gale and Darius started snickering as soon as Jess was out of earshot. Katniss looked to Madge who just shrugged. "What?"

"Someone's got herself a lady crush on Katniss," Gale snorted.

"What are you talking about? Who?"

"Jess. She came over 'just to say hi' to you? Please, Katniss. Didn't you see how excited she got at you saying you'd come back to the coffee shop?" Darius asked, trying to contain his laughter.

"Why does that mean she has a crush on Katniss? Maybe she was just being friendly," Madge suggested but Darius shook his head vehemently.

"Maybe, but I'd bet hard money the girl's got it bad for KittyKat over here."

Katniss shook her head in disgust. "You boys are pathetic, thinking that just because a girl came over to say hi to me and recognized me from the coffee shop I've been going to almost every morning for the past three years, that she's a lesbian? And she's got some crush on me?"

Gale glanced at Darius who gave him the go ahead sign. "Katniss, we know she's a lesbian because she used to date one of the waitresses at the bar. And we know she's into you because despite how dense guys are at all of this…flirting crap…we pick up on someone trying to mark their territory."

"And, no offense, Katniss, but as dense as these two are, you're probably more so," Madge added with an apologetic smile. "But, it's got to be a bit of a boost to your ego that you could pick up a hot chick easier than Darius."

"Hey!" Darius exclaimed and Katniss finally broke her scowl.

"Fine," she huffed. "But I still don't think she's got a crush on me. And I'll take that bet, Darius. Say $20?"

He leaned in close and rested his hand on her thigh. "$20 and dinner of the winner's choosing."

"Deal. You're going to feel like an idiot when you discover how wrong you are." She sat back and smirked as the cars began one of their many loops up and down the street. The cars themselves got old after the first couple passes. Gale and Darius kept pointing things out on them, whether they had been refinished or were taken care of by their owner, what car actually deserved the 'classic car' label, but Katniss found herself doing more sky watching than people watching. Clouds had begun rolling across the sky during the latter part of the afternoon and were now blocking out all the potential stars. A cool breeze picked up and the faint whiff of summer rains followed shortly after. "Shit," she muttered as a few raindrops began falling from the sky.

There are two types of summer storms in the Midwest; there are the gentle rainfalls that every child and college student alike love to play in, and there are the storms that produce hail, gusts of winds that move cars, and tornadoes. Nearly everyone celebrating Cruise Night has experienced both kinds of storms and have been drilled constantly about what to do should one occur. But when the first chunks of ice began to pelt the observers, it became a free for all; people yelling and running as fast as they could to get into shelter. Katniss leaped off the truck bed and started following her group toward the nearby shop, where the truck's owner currently was.

"Madge! Gale!" Somehow, someone came between the group and Katniss was squished between frantic bodies and fell to her hands and knees. She shot back up but her companions were no place to be found. She let the crowd move her toward the shops, while and the same time, she tried to get to the outside of the mob. The winds were picking up and the hail and rain came down harder, making it more difficult to see. She felt a strong hand grasp her arm and she tried to shake it free.

Over the howling winds, she heard him yelling at her. "Katniss! Come with me, I know a place." She turned and saw his soaking curls and blue eyes through the storm.

"Dr. Mellark?" she asked, as someone ran past her and bumped her into his chest. _Yep. That's him._ _I'd recognize this chest anywhere,_ she thought, before realizing those probably weren't the kind of thoughts she should be having about Peeta Mellark. Even if he wasn't her professor anymore.

He wrapped his arm around her and pushed his way through the crowd to an old tractor storage and maintenance facility that had an open door and short line of people waiting to get in. Once inside, he kept his grip on her until they were in the large showroom and could find a spot away from everyone else. It was freezing in the showroom and Katniss let out a slight shiver before his hands were rubbing her bare arms to warm them up. She watched her skin pebble in the wake of his gentle touch and shivered again, but she wasn't so sure it was from the rain.

"Still cold?" he asked, his hands pausing their movement. She was suddenly engulfed in a warm fleece and realized he had taken off his Chicago Cubs zip-up and draped it over her. "Sorry, it's still wet but the inside should be fine. Want to sit somewhere?"

They walked over to one of the tractors and sat inside the large wheel well. "These things are a lot bigger up close," she commented, finding the silence that was normally so welcoming uncomfortable. She brought her knees to her chest and rested her feet on the inside of the tire.

"I can't say that I've ever spent too much time around tractors."

"Gale's family has a farm back home. I've been there once." She swallowed hard and watched the lightening light up the black sky through the small windows in the garage doors. "I liked the class," she said, breaking the silence. "For a non-real science, psychology isn't completely terrible." She looked over at him, curls still sopping wet and sticking to his face, his light blue t-shirt molding against his chest, eyes down on his interlaced fingers.

He chuckled. "Not completely terrible, huh? I should put that in my next course description." They fell quiet again, save for the pitter-patter of the rain and hail hitting the side of the building. "And that professor of yours, what did you think about him?"

She shrugged. "He was okay."

"Just okay? Well, maybe if he wasn't so distracted he would have been better."

"Distracted? You're blaming this on me now?" Katniss asked, lightly slapping his arm. He caught her hand before she could pull it away and the smile fell from her face.

"Every class, when I'd be going over something, I always checked on you. You would frown when you disagreed with what I was talking about. Then there was the furrowed forehead when you were concentrating especially hard on a new topic you hadn't quite grasped yet. You distracted me the most when you finally figured it out, when you made the connection to what I was teaching. I always knew when that moment happened because your face softened and you lost every hint of scowl." He cupped her face with his hand and traced her lips with his thumb. "You shouldn't scowl so much, Katniss, you're so much more beautiful when you don't."

She could see in his eyes what he wanted. She wanted the same thing. It was the same desire as that morning after class, when they came so close and she left so empty. He brought her face up to his, his lips ghosting over hers. She licked her lips in anticipation, feeling his warm breath on her skin. This time, this moment, was right.

He hesitated and her eyes flew open. It was just like that morning in the classroom. Fear. Embarrassment. Rejection. _I am so stupid!_she thought, trying to flinch away.

But his hand stayed locked in hers, not allowing her to move away from him. "We can't do this, you know."

"Why not? The semester is over. You've already given me my grade."

"Grades for summer classes aren'tfinalized until mid-August. Until those are final…"

She sighed. "I'm still technically your student."

"There's still a power differentiation and potential conflict of interest," he nodded.

"Oh." The single syllable hung heavy between them.

"But I want to, so badly. I've wanted to since that night in the bar. I think about you all of the damn time and I hate it because if you weren't you and I wasn't me then this," he gestured between them, "This could be so good."

"Yeah," she answered, furrowing her forehead as she rehashed everything that happened. Everything he said made sense, he was looking out for her; he didn't want her to get in trouble. That was a good thing, what he was doing by not kissing her was actually for the best. In her head, she knew that was true. And she certainly didn't need to get mixed up again with someone who was going to cause more problems in her life. She'd had enough of that in the past.

"You could do one thing for me, though."

"Shoot."

Peeta smiled. "You could let me drive you home. Seems like the rain's letting up and I'm not parked too far from here."

"I suppose that's the least you could do for calling me a distraction," she joked.

Laughing, he stood from the wheel well and helped her up. "That's what we 'just okay' types do. It's in our blood."

The ride to Katniss' apartment was quiet. Not uncomfortable, just quiet. He kept shifting his eyes around the cab, occasionally stopping on her before quickly looking away and smiling. When they finally pulled up to her building, she started unzipping his sweatshirt when he covered her hand with his. "You can hold onto it. It's still chilly out there."

She climbed out of his truck and started up the stairs to her building. "Dr. Mellark?" She turned; glad to see he was still sitting in the parking lot. She walked over to the driver's side and leaned against the door as Peeta rolled down the window. "Thank you for getting me out of the mob and the sweatshirt and the ride home. And, you know, for, looking out for me, I guess."

"Sucks being a good guy sometimes, I won't lie," he chuckled.

She considered this and nodded. "I know the feeling. I just wanted to say thank you." She turned to leave but paused. "I just…I just need to know something."

Peeta rested his elbow on the window. "What's that?"

Katniss took a breath and decided to go for it. She pushed up on her toes and kissed him. It caught him off guard but he quickly kissed her back, holding her face between his hands to deepen it. He tasted like cinnamon and she smelled like rain and neither could get enough of the other. A loud buzz that sent vibrations up the truck door broke them apart. She sheepishly fished her phone out of her pocket.

_9:15pm. Madge. /Katniss? Where are you?/_

"It's my roommate. I should…"

"Yeah," he agreed in a breathy voice, his cheeks still with a hint of pink. "Definitely."

She started walking away from the truck when the passenger side window rolled down.

"Katniss? I don't think I can wait until August to do that again," he called.

She bit her bottom lip to stop the grin that was spreading across her face. "I used to get coffee in the mornings before class from this little shop on College. They have the best chai tea I've ever had."

"I'll see you around, Katniss."

* * *

**AN:**

Chelzie – thanks for tackling this beast with all the other wonderful stories you worked on last week. You are fabulous, dahling! And for using your actual life to fix some boo-boos. Darn FERPA ;-)

Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed this story. It'll most likely be a few weeks between chapters, so I try to make them extra long to make up for it. :)

If you have questions or whatever, I'm on tumblr at .com.


	3. Chapter 3

It was understandable why Peeta focused more on his memories of Katniss than the ridiculous seminar he was in. The university wanted all the staff to be ready for the fall semester, so they planned a series of speakers and presentations and "skill building activities" throughout the summer. _Whatever the fuck "skill building activities" meant._ Today's speaker was a woman from admissions, who was showing a video about the history of Panem University that had everyone in the auditorium falling asleep. He felt worse for the tenured professors who had been enduring this hell for who knows how long. Though judging by the snores coming from the economics professor in front of him, Peeta figured most members of the audience hadn't actually seen this video in its entirety for some time.

So when his mind wandered back to Katniss Everdeen, he didn't feel guilty.

That was a total lie.

He was wracked with guilt. It began when he talked to her in the bar. He knew she was a student and his preoccupation with her would go well beyond friendly chatting. Anything beyond friendly chatting would be frowned upon and would do little to help him gain any kind of respect within the university. Not that it was going to stop him. But it did urge him to actually read the school's policy on professor-student relationships. _...Any romantic and/or sexual relationship between an instructor and a student in an instructional context is prohibited...regardless of who initiates the relationship; the instructor is responsible for complying with this policy._

He remembered her saying she was taking the intro class during the summer semester, but Peeta held onto the hope that she meant the other class that session. He should have told her to switch to the other summer class as soon as he saw her name on his roster. _You tried_, he weakly reminded himself. He didn't, though. Not really. He craved her; her apparent disinterest was his own personal challenge. Her sharp grey eyes drew him in every morning, refusing to release him until they flitted away first.

He could hear his mother's voice in his head, reminding him of what he was there to do, which did not include getting involved in an inappropriate relationship with a co-ed. Or any relationship whatsoever, but that wasn't the point. What he felt for Katniss Everdeen was a crush. If they were both in the same place, he would be actively pursuing her rather than trying to push her from his mind.

After class ended for the semester, he knew he wouldn't run into her again. He could find a new jogging route that wouldn't go by her job. He could frequent a different bar, one less likely to serve students. She was in a totally different department, housed on the opposite side of campus; so unless she was taking more social science classes, which he highly doubted she was, they would most likely nerve cross paths again. Out of sight, out of mind.

He surprised himself with how little he thought of her the first couple of weeks after finals.

That was also a lie.

He thought about her more than before. His cognitive psych professor would surely click her tongue at his current predicament. "A classic example of the ironic processing theory, playing out before our eyes. Don't think about the polar bears, Mister Mellark, and what will happen? You will see polar bears everywhere you go." Repressing his thoughts about Katniss inevitably led to increased thoughts about Katniss because he focused all his attention on _not_ thinking about Katniss.

At the time, Peeta had no interest in partaking in the town's summer booze fest with Finnick, Annie, and Johanna. If he wanted to get drunk, he could do it in the privacy of his own apartment, not surrounded by undergrads he may eventually teach. He caught enough slack from his mentor for choosing bars that students went to, even though he often sat in a back corner, out of sight of most people. He didn't want the added lecture about being seen publicly drinking with students. It didn't much matter that his mentor carried his flask into class and didn't bother trying to conceal it; Abernathy would have no problem trying to curb Peeta all the same.

When the rain started that night, the group made for cover when Peeta caught sight of her braid whipping past him. When she fell, he was there in a flash, pushing through the crowd and ignoring the calls of displeasure. She was beautiful then, with her hair flat against her head and her floral tank top soaked. He tried not to notice the way she looked, huddled inside his sweatshirt in attempt to warm up, knowing it would smell just like her when he got it back. She was so bold, stealing that kiss when he dropped her off at her building, then so nervous afterward. Like a child, swiping a cookie off the counter behind her mother's back, only to get caught with crumbs all over her face.

_Thinking about Katniss isn't all bad_, he realizes. Because he knows that if he weren't thinking about her, he'd revert back to thinking about the other her - the girl he doesn't get to see anymore. The little girl that loved him and needed him, who cried when he moved out because her mother couldn't explain to her what was happening in a way that a four year old would understand. The little girl who didn't know why Peeta wasn't going to pick her up from daycare anymore or help her make cookies when she got the sniffles. All she knew was in the weeks prior, there was a lot of yelling, some crying, and every night, Peeta sat on the floor by the head of her bed and stroked her hair.

That's not something he can think about without wanting - no, needing - a drink. He scanned the room for his mentor, hoping he could flag him down at intermission and swipe a swallow from his flask, but Haymitch is nowhere to be seen. Peeta sighed and slouched back in his seat as the clipped words of their presenter floated aimlessly through his brain.

_11:45am. Jo. /Think I can get out of this if I jam this pencil through my eye?/_

_11:47am. Peeta. /Sure. But I hear you'll just have to make it up another time./_

_11:52am. Jo. /Worth it./_

_11:55am. Jo. /Seriously, though, want to ditch after this? Finn says the afternoon session is worse./_

_11:57am. Peeta. /How is that possible?/_

_11:59am. Jo. /Do you really want to find out?/_

The econ professor woke mid-snore when the presentation ended and the audience gave the presenter a round of applause. Peeta held back his laugh as the man began to clap enthusiastically, surely giving the impression that he was fully engaged the entire time and not dead to the world. "It is a wonderful gift, Boy," Abernathy told him during their first meeting, "Being able to fool those around you. They don't much care about the truth around here, only what looks like the truth."

* * *

Having a nurse in the family meant every Everdeen had a yearly physical and saw the dentist every six months. Even now, four years removed from her mother's roof and rules, Katniss never missed a checkup. Madge joked that she was more accurate than any calendar or watch, what between her to-the-day appointments and perpentuency to be early to whatever she has scheduled. But Katniss didn't mind. Early detection meant early treatment and checkups were the only way to catch things before they become a major headache.

Too bad no one told her dentist that when she went in today.

"I don't know how we didn't see this last time, Katniss, but two of your wisdom teeth are completely impacted." The dentist held up her x-rays so she could see them and pointed to the teeth on the far left ends of her jaw. "This one is trying to push through on its side. It's amazing you haven't been experiencing more pain. But you're in luck," he said with a smile and pat on her hand, "I'm also licensed to perform oral surgery, so we can remove them today. Sound good?"

She shrugged. Getting her wisdom teeth removed didn't sound like that big of a deal, since almost everyone she knew had been through the procedure already. "Sure. Should I call my roommate to come pick me up?" When Gale had his wisdom teeth removed, Katniss had to pick him up because he was still too high from the gas they gave him to knock him out. He spent the entire car ride home telling her about where cauliflower babies came from, even though she was pretty sure he was getting it confused with the Cabbage Patch doll he recently bought for his baby sister. At least Madge had the decency to pass out the entire way home when she had hers taken out, even if she did drool all over Katniss' interior. And pillow.

"Oh no, unless you'd like the company. You should be able to drive after Novacaine."

Katniss gulped as the blood drained from her face. She did not like needles, not one bit. She was the last girl in her grade to get her ears pierced because the thought made her nauseous. She nearly passed out when Prim got hers done a few years later.

"We only need to remove two so there's no reason to increase the risk of adverse side effects. You've had cavities before, right? It's just like that." The dentist made it seem like it was no big deal, jabbing needles into her gum and having her listen, see, and even smell him removing her teeth. She couldn't even tell him that, actually, she'd never had a cavity before and how that had never been a bad thing.

The dental assistant was nice enough to distract her while the novocaine was injected, but she still felt the needle and the pinch. Then, she couldn't feel anything. She was only aware that she was drooling because the assistant would randomly wipe her chin or suction the excess fluid from her mouth. She kept her eyes closed until the dentist asked if she wanted to see the first one. Katniss tried to tell him "No, thanks, that's pretty gross," but it came out a garbled mess because she managed to get Novocaine on her tongue.

"Sowwy," Katniss muttered as the dental assistant flexed her fingers and let out a sigh of relief. The dentist had taken a break from his drilling and it was the first chance she had to apologize for her vice-like grip on the assistant's hand.

"It's okay, dear. Halfway done."

"Thankfully." She paused and ran her tongue over the edge of her teeth. "Th-th-th." She shouldn't be able to make that noise. She hadn't been able to even a few minutes ago when she didn't have control of the muscles in her mouth or feel anything, including the roughness of her teeth. Or the drill currently cutting through her gums. She let out a loud cry and instantly her eyes widened with fear. Katniss flailed her arms and smacked the assistant's arm.

"What is it, dear? Oh. Oh my. Doctor!"

The dentist looked up to his assistant, then down at his crying patient who was now writhing in pain while attempting not to move her head. He quickly prepared more Novacaine and injected it into her searing gums. It took a few minutes for the numbness to return to her mouth but as soon as it did, he apologized profusely and set to finish the extraction as quickly as possible. "In case we get another string of bad luck," he said with a wink.

Katniss glared at him through the tears that were still streaming down her cheeks. _String of bad luck, my ass_!

"I've written you a prescription for oxycodone for the pain. Make sure you get some food in your system. I'd suggest starting with half a pill at first so you know how it'll affect you. Keep those gauze pads in your mouth until the bleeding stops. Change them frequently or you increase the risk of infection. Use some ice packs on the left side of your face until the swelling goes down; that could take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks." The dentist rattled off the remaining directions and handed Katniss a sheet of paper with typed instructions for "post-surgery care" and what she presumed to be the prescription for her pain meds. She scoffed at the idea, priding herself on her very limited use of medication throughout her life. _I might as well throw this out now_, she thought.

There was a drugstore on the way home from the dentist, otherwise she wouldn't have filled the prescription.

* * *

_This must be what death feels like_. A few hours later, as she curled up on the couch, she was glad she had the meds. The left side of her mouth was reeling in pain and she couldn't get the metallic tinge of blood off her tongue. She found herself having to change her gauze pads every fifteen minutes at the most, nearly gagging as she tried to fit them into the back corners of her jaw. She swallowed too much of the blood and felt nauseous but couldn't work up the energy to sit up long enough to eat anything substantial to combat the feeling. After forcing down some soup at Madge's insistence, Katniss split one of her pain meds and swallowed it down as well. Three hours later, when the half pill began to wear off, she took the other half and easily fell asleep. _Alright, maybe these were a good idea._

* * *

"It doesn't look that bad, Katniss."

The next morning, Katniss and Madge stood in the bathroom, inspecting the intense swelling that overtook the left side of Katniss' face.

"Not that bad?" Katniss mumbled. "I look like a hive of wasps fell on my face!"

Madge shook her head and held an ice pack up to Katniss' cheek. "It'll go down. Luckily you don't have work today or tomorrow, and then it's the weekend. Remember when I had mine out? I had to go to class the next day. I was miserable."

Katniss laughed out of the right side of her mouth. She did remember Madge's recovery. She had all four teeth out at once so when her face started to swell, it was almost comical. The dainty girl's cheeks ballooned out four sizes, resembling a chipmunk. It only lasted a few days and then Madge was back to her normal self, but it was a particularly traumatic experience in the normally well-put together girl's life. Yes, the odds were in Katniss' favor that this happened over the summer and she had logged enough hours in the last few weeks at the lab to afford a few days off. _Lucky me._

Madge knew Katniss didn't need to be tended to, but her own recovery was so bad that she felt a sense of obligation to repay Katniss. She was an easy patient, sleeping most of the few days away, sipping some soup whenever she woke up, just to keep her stomach somewhat satisfied. And Madge had to admit that listening to Katniss a few hours after she took her pain meds was probably the funniest thing she had ever heard. Katniss very rarely let herself go like she did when she was under the influence of something. She found it ironic that her roommate thought she turned into a different person when she had been drinking and didn't realize how different Katniss could be when she let go of her inhibitions.

Katniss didn't talk much about what happened that changed her personality, only that she didn't used to be so tightly wound or as prone to anxiety attacks like she was now. Madge knew it happened before she came to college and involved the sister she very rarely talked about, but they didn't push each other. When the girls first met, neither were in a particularly good place in their lives and found an easy friendship in that. Two broken bodies floating through until a poetry discussion in an Intro to Lit class brought them together.

"_Gather ye rosebuds while ye may"_

They were the only two in the freshman-level class who didn't see the poem as a happy-go-lucky, 'let's love spring' poem but instead saw it as a call to live each day as it's own. After class, when Katniss mumbled about how the entire premise of the poem was BS and living for the moment only led to pain, Madge knew they both had seen too much in their relatively short lives.

She knew she was a lot to put up with, to the point of annoying the hell out of her ever-patient roommate. It wasn't intentional, it was just her coping mechanism. She could hide how lonely she felt when she dolled herself up and allowed men to ogle her. It was empty and shallow, but she couldn't refute that for a moment, it made her feel alive, like the girl she used to be.

She knew Katniss hated that she wouldn't just take the plunge and date Gale Hawthorne. She even hated herself for not doing it. But he deserved better than what she was right now; a shell of her former self who had learned to live half alive. She would just destroy Gale if she tried anything with him now. And if she destroyed Gale, she'd lose a piece of Katniss in the process. They both knew it. Despite the looks and comments under her breath, Katniss understood Madge.

"Katniss? Leevy texted me and asked if I wanted to go out with them tonight. But if you'd rather I stay in with you, I can." Madge sat on the edge of the sofa cushion near Katniss' head and pulled off the ice pack to check for swelling, just as she had been doing all afternoon.

"No, you go. I'll be okay here."

Madge gently ran her fingers over Katniss' jaw, eliciting a slight hiss. "Your face looks a lot better, you know. The swelling has almost gone down completely. And I can actually understand what you're saying."

Katniss snorted. She still felt like she'd gotten hit by a semi. "What time are you going out?"

Madge checked her phone and frowned. "They want to head out pretty soon, get some dinner beforehand. But I can come home early, that way you're not home alone for so long."

"Don't you worry your pretty little face about me, Madge," Katniss answered. "I just took my oxy so I'm going to eat my soup and head to bed. You go out with your friends and have fun."

Madge frowned again, but Katniss pushed her off the couch. "Alright. Here's your phone." She set Katniss' cell phone next to her head. "If you need anything, text me and I'll come home right away."

_7:15pm. Madge. /We just got to the restaurant. You doing okay?/_

_7:17pm. Katniss. /Stop checking in on me and have fun./_

_7:20 pm. Madge. /You know that won't happen./_

_7:24 pm. Katniss. /Go away, ya derp./_

Katniss stared at her phone. She didn't want Madge to come home, but she didn't anticipate being this bored. She flipped through all the channels a few times already, finding nothing to watch for more than a few minutes at a time. And she'd be damned if she would be forced to sit through a marathon of _Bridezillas_.

_7:55 pm. Katniss. /Hi/_

_8:02 pm. Peeta. /Hey stranger. Thought you lost my number or something./_

_8:09 pm. Katniss. /Damn. You caught me./_

_8:13 pm. Peeta. /Red handed. What's up?/_

_8:14 pm. Katniss. /Bored at home. Got my wisdom teeth removed a couple days ago./_

_8:16 pm. Peeta. /Want some company?/_

Katniss chewed on her bottom lip as she stared the screen. She texted him, initially, because she was bored but hadn't really anticipated a response, let alone an invitation to see him. It was almost 8:30 on a Friday night; surely he had plans or friends or something to do besides babysit her. It wasn't like she could go have a drink with him because of her meds and she didn't want to go out in public.

But she did want to see him again. She couldn't deny the flutter in her stomach at the thought of him. They hadn't talked since she kissed him at Cruise Night, even though she was pretty sure she invited him to coffee at some point. She didn't stop by the coffee shop for a full week, just to make sure she would avoid seeing him. Jess made a comment about it when she finally returned, but Katniss just shrugged it off, checking over her shoulder whenever the door opened.

_8:20 pm. Katniss. /Do you even remember where I live?/_

_8:23 pm. Peeta. /I remember more about you than you think, studmuffin ;)/_

_8:33 pm. Peeta. /Which one is your apartment?/_

Katniss sat up quickly. Too quickly, her head reminded her by spinning around violently. She peeked out the living room window and saw a truck running in the parking lot. He was here already? He was serious about coming here? About spending time with her? He actually remembered where she lived? She slipped on a pair of flip flops and scurried down the stairs.

When she got to the parking lot, she crept up on the driver side of his truck and watched him as he stared at his phone in one hand and drummed his fingers nervously on his steering wheel with the other. He was nervous? What did he have to be nervous about?

She tapped lightly on his window, "We don't much care for loiterers here."

He jumped slightly before rolling down the window and leaning out. "Evening."

Katniss smiled and rolled her eyes. "Can I help you?"

"I was supposed to meet someone but I can't seem to figure out which apartment is hers. Maybe you could direct me?"

"Depends on who it is you're looking for, I suppose."

"Well she's got dark hair," he flicked her hair as he said this, "Grey eyes, and this perpetual scowl that I've become quite fond of. You have to be careful around her, though; she may come out of nowhere and kiss you when you're just sitting in your truck, minding your own business." His smile was breathtaking, even when she couldn't see the rows of white teeth behind his lips.

"Like a ninja?"

"A kissing ninja."

Katniss looked around her and shrugged, "Can't say I've ever encountered this mysterious kissing ninja."

"It's a real shame, she's not half bad." He tilted his head toward the cab of his truck. "Have you eaten?"

"I can't really eat much," she answered, pointing to her face. "Not for another couple days."

"I didn't ask what you can eat, only if you have eaten. Come on, I'll make you dinner."

She looked down at herself, still in the penguin pajama shorts and light blue tank top she slipped on after her shower because she was too lazy to get dressed. "Let me go change first."

Peeta cocked an eyebrow at her. "Trying to impress someone, Miss Everdeen? I think you look just fine the way you are but if you've got a hot date later tonight, I'd totally understand."

"Shut up," she scowled. "I should at least let my roommate know where I've gone in case she comes home before I do." Katniss watched him unsuccessfully fight another smile and she turned to run back into her apartment.

"You can change if you want," he called out after her. "But you'll probably be more comfortable in that."

She didn't take long, just grabbing her phone and charger. She wrote Madge a note and stuck it on the fridge. _Out with a friend, be back soon, don't wait up. Will text you before I head home._ She headed out the door before backtracking to add one more line to her note. _Thank you._ Madge would understand and appreciate the sentiment. They didn't need much more than that.

Katniss pulled open the passenger side door and hopped in. "Sorry your kissing ninja didn't show up. Hope I'll be an acceptable alternative."

"The night is young." Then he winked and pulled out of her parking lot. It was dark in the cab of the truck so she didn't think twice about the blush that crept over her cheeks.

His radio was playing some song that she kind of recognized but didn't know the words as well as he did, apparently. This wasn't the first time she caught herself watching him. There was that day she ended up having to teach herself the biopsychology section because she had been too preoccupied by the way his forearms flexed when he rolled his dress shirt sleeves up to his elbows. Or how his eyes darkened slightly when he brought up the slide about the epidemiology of different neurological disorders and the sad truth that regardless of the progress made on understanding the physiology of the brain, there was still a long way to go toward recovery and renewal.

That was from a distance. Up close, she could see things she hadn't expected; the callouses on his fingers as they tapped along to the song, his impossibly long, blond eyelashes, the hint of stubble that traversed his jaw down his throat. She noticed the way his adam's apple bobbed up and down as he sang to himself. He wasn't a terrible singer, she decided, even if he was on the flat side and often went too low in his register. His obvious enthusiasm shone through and all but made up for his missed notes.

"_How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground..."_

"Are you a Pink Floyd fan?" he asked when she started humming along. She hadn't realized he stopped singing a while ago and had been listening to her voice.

"Oh. No." She shook her head and slumped back in her seat. "I mean, I only really know one song, but it's the one everyone knows so I don't think it counts."

Peeta kept his eyes on the road and had a sly grin on his face. "We don't need no education. We don't need no thought control."

Katniss bit the inside of her cheek. She knew he was trying to get her to finish the line. It wasn't that she didn't want to sing it, but she recognized a game when she saw one.

"No dark sarcasm in the classroom." He finally turned his head to watch her.

She huffed and mumbled the rest of the lyrics.

"I'm sorry, Miss Everdeen, you're going to need to speak up."

She glared at his cheeky smile. "Hey. Teachers. Leave. Us. Kids. Alone." Katniss smirked as she said, rather than sang, the line.

Peeta just shook his head as he finished loudly and obnoxiously out of tune. "All in all you're just another brick in the wall."

When he approached a condo complex, Katniss tensed, as if the practical side of her brain finally caught up. They were going to his apartment. Alone. Somewhere between him showing up at her place and this moment, she chose to forget that vital piece of information. _I shouldn't be here_, she panicked. This was totally inappropriate. Plus, she didn't quite know where here was. Sure, Peeta was a professor and seemed like a nice guy, but weren't most sociopaths that lured unsuspecting girls to their apartments, never to be heard from again, often described by their neighbors as "nice guys"? Could he be hiding his true, sick persona under that boyish charm and killer smile? If he were to try anything, she wouldn't be able to tell anyone his address. And she missed the name of his complex as they drove in. She couldn't even run, since he had his truck and her car was back at her apartment. This was a bad idea. This was a terrible idea.

"Peeta," she started. "I don't think this is - oh, my." The complex he brought her into was one of the nicest ones in town, complete with it's own gate and code for each resident. When she and Madge first started looking for apartments, Madge's father insisted they try for Victor's Village. It was easy to get in when you had the money Madge's father had, but there was no way Katniss could afford to be an employee there, let alone a resident. The idea that a professor, especially a brand new one, could afford to live in this part of town shocked her.

"Welcome to my humble abode," he answered with an eyeroll and obvious disdain in his voice. "I hate living this far from campus. When I was in graduate school, I was only a few blocks from my main building and that was the best. Guess it's not really appropriate for faculty to live near the students, though, is it? So, this is where I ended up."

At least now she knew if he were going to murder her, it wouldn't be in some dimly lit back alley. Nope, she'd die in the most luxurious apartment complex in the most hoighty-toighty part of town. Definitely could be worse ways to go.

"Do I need to take my shoes off or..." Katniss asked as she stepped inside. The carpets were a light beige and even though she had only been outside for a short time in her flip flops, she was suddenly very conscious of how much dirt could be on the bottom of them.

"Don't worry about it!" he called from somewhere inside. She looked down at the rug next to the door and noticed that there were two pairs of shoes that looked like they were literally kicked there. She slipped her own off and neatly set them next to the door.

She wandered into his expansive, yet empty living room. With the exception of a flat screen, collection of DVD's and a rocking chair in the corner, there was not a single piece of furniture in the entire room, despite him having lived in the apartment for at least a month and a half. This notion didn't quell the serial-killer-in-professor's-clothing fear she developed in his truck.

Katniss knelt down in front of his DVD collection, deciding that was the only way she could get an idea of who this guy really was. _Psychopaths wouldn't have any normal DVD's on hand, would they? Probably just twelve copies of 'Silence of the Lambs' or something_, she told herself. As she ran her finger along the spines and read the titles to herself, she calmed down. _Caddyshack, Star Wars, The Patriot, Indiana Jones, There's Something About Mary_. All normal movies for a normal young adult male to own.

She glanced over the rest of the titles in his collection, smirking at his small but impressive section of romantic comedies. On the far right side of them was an unmarked, black case. She knew she shouldn't be snooping, but a quick glance over her shoulder confirmed that he wasn't behind her.

'Maddie' was scrawled across the front above a picture of the same curly haired girl Katniss remembered seeing in his office. Only she was younger in this picture and sitting upon his broad shoulders. Her hands were fisted into his curly hair and Katniss could all but hear the duet of laughter.

She snapped the case open and other pictures fell out. One of a newborn wrapped in a blanket, so tiny in Peeta's arms. Another of a toddler, in an apron that pooled on the floor and a chef's hat that covered her bright blue eyes, on a stool next to Peeta. Picture after picture, Katniss couldn't get past the resemblance of the pair. She hadn't allowed herself to believe that the girl may be his until she got to the last picture. He was sitting on a couch next to an equally blonde, and beautiful, woman, the young girl perched between them. A picturesque family if she had ever seen one. She recognized the look in Peeta's eyes, it was the same one her father had in his wedding pictures.

She stuffed the pictures back into the case and hastily stuffed it back into its place among the others. Just in time, too, because she suddenly became all too aware of his heavy footsteps entering the room. "Hungry?"

She forced a smile, trying to push away the visual of Peeta with a family. "Famished."

"Come on, I've got a whole mess of stuff you can eat."

She followed him into his kitchen, the biggest one she had ever seen in an apartment before, and laughed at the spread on his table. Mashed potatoes, applesauce, and a container of what looked to be homemade macaroni and cheese. All foods she could eat with ease. "Do you often cater to the chewing-impaired?"

He scoffed and filled his glass tumbler with whiskey and hers with water. "Don't flatter yourself, Miss Everdeen. Do you think you're the first person I've had to feed who couldn't eat solid food?"

Her stomach dropped. Of course she wasn't. It was clear from those pictures that he had played an active role in that little girl's life from infancy. He must have had to prepare her food, too.

"What's wrong? I don't know what else I have, but I can run to the store if you'd prefer something else." He noticed the change immediately and threw open his pantry, mumbling to himself as he pulled out a few cans of soup and packages of pudding.

"Peeta!" She stepped behind him. "It looks delicious. I, uh, I took my meds a while ago and they're just disagreeing with my empty stomach." She didn't like lying to him but if she told him the truth, he'd know she was snooping. His past wasn't really any of her business. They weren't dating, he was just keeping her company. And making her dinner. At his apartment. Alone.

"You sure?"

The look of concern aged him slightly. Gone were the boyish features, replaced by a man who looked older beyond his years. But as soon as she reassured him, the youthfulness returned. "Then let's eat. If you clean your plate, you may even get a special dessert," he added with a wink.

She rolled her eyes but allowed him to scoop some of everything onto a plate for her. "How did you have time to make all this?"

"Ah, well," his cheeks flushed, "The applesauce is from a jar and the potatoes are of the instant variety."

"I'm disappointed in your moves, Mr. Mellark. Instant mashed potatoes are not the way to win a girl over," she countered, stuffing a forkful into her mouth with a grin.

"Then it's a good thing I'm not trying to win you over, isn't it, Miss Everdeen? And that's 'Dr. Mellark' to you, young lady." He pointed his fork of macaroni at her. "The macaroni and cheese is homemade. Reheated, but homemade, so get off my back."

"You'd better hope your special dessert leaves me satisfied," she shrugged.

He wiggled his eyebrows. "My special dessert leaves _every_ woman satisfied."

Katniss just shook her head and dove into the rest of her food. Every so often, she would glance up at him, only to avert her eyes when he'd catch hers. She could feel the blush run over her cheeks and she felt like one of those idiot girls she always made fun of at the bar for acting so...well...girly around a cute guy. Madge always warned her that one day she'd be just like those girls and she'd understand why they "insisted on acting so silly." She blamed it on the side effects of her medication starting to kick in.

Once they cleaned their plates, Katniss even making a show of licking hers just to prove she could, he laid a soft blanket on the living room floor and instructed her to pick out a movie for them to watch.

"Dinner and a show? I'm one lucky gal," she mused.

"What can I say? I'm a romantic at heart," he quipped back. "Now pick one out while I put together your dessert."

She heard the blender run in the other room as she scanned the titles in his collection again, consciously avoiding the side with the blank case. She could feel the slight buzz that came along with her pain meds and knew she'd never last through the entire movie as it was, so she grabbed one she had seen enough times, _Robin Hood: Men in Tights_.

Peeta walked back in with a glass goblet filled to the brim with what appeared to be chocolate ice cream and topped with a healthy dollop of whipped cream.

"What in the world is that?"

He laughed and sat on the blanket, patting the spot next to him. "This," he said as she crawled to join him, "Is my famous milkshake-frosty."

"Famous?" she cocked an eyebrow as he handed her a spoon.

He nodded. "It's a national treasure, really. One of the great wonders of the world."

Katniss dipped her spoon in and tentatively tasted it. She wasn't a huge fan of sweets but she wouldn't be so rude as to decline something he actually made. "Lord almighty," she groaned, letting the chocolate-spice mixture dance on her tongue. "What is in this? Crack?"

"Yes, Katniss, crack," he answered with as straight of a face as he could muster while the opening credits began to roll. Not that she noticed. She was too busy shoveling spoonful after spoonful into her mouth until she got brain freeze and had to take a break. "I take it you approve?"

"It's so good. This is, hands down, the best damn thing I've ever had in my mouth!" She started snickering and then covered her face with her hands. "Oh. That was bad, wasn't it?"

They had finished the entire goblet before Cary Elwes' big escape, Katniss eating most of it herself. She was laying on her stomach facing the TV and absentmindedly playing with Peeta's bare feet.

"What are you doing?"

"Counting," she answered, the oxycodone high starting to take full effect.

"Well, knock it off," he joked, kicking her hand away.

"Why?" She twisted her body around to look back at him. "Are you ticklish?"

He quickly pulled his feet in close. "No. I just don't want you messing with my toes. Watch the movie, goof."

She rolled her eyes and turned back. He wanted to stay focused on the movie as it was one of his favorites, but he couldn't stop his eyes from taking her in. Her long, slim legs leading up to the ridiculous penguins on her shorts, her back, and her exposed neck and arms. Everything about her was beautiful and different. He watched her gleefully quote her favorite parts of the movie and break into laughter, her legs kicking with delight every so often. She was innocent and naive here; carefree and open, not guarded and scowling like he saw so often in class.

_Class. Get it together, Mellark_, he chastised himself.

"Peeta," she called to him in a sing-song voice. "I'm cold."

"Cold? Really?" He craned his neck to check his thermostat which was still set at his usual 68. He shook his head and fetched a blanket from his room to lay over her. He dramatically tucked it all around her, effectively cocooning her in the blanket. "Better?"

"Thanks."

He resumed his spot sitting next to her for a few more minutes until she called out for him again. "Yes?"

"Why aren't you sitting by me?"

"I am."

"No," she drew out the syllable and untucked herself on one side. Lifting the blanket up, she nodded. "Come sit by me."

"Katniss. That's not a good idea," he warned.

"Please?"

His resolve wavered. How was he supposed to deny those grey eyes or her bottom lip that was caught, once again, between her teeth? He sighed and laid on his side beside her. She instantly turned to her side and cuddled up with her back to his chest. Her hair was right under his nose and he recognized the light scent of cucumber melon with an undertone of earthiness from Cruise Night. She laughed too often during the movie, no doubt due to the medication, and when she did, her whole body shook against him.

"I have a mole?!" she howled at the screen, half a second before Richard Lewis' Prince John said it. He couldn't help but laugh along with her. Not because the movie wasn't funny but because her reaction was infectious. It helped that she let out little tiny snorts when she laughed especially hard, like she was now.

She turned to her other side to face him, her face still red from laughing. "I love this movie."

"I couldn't tell," he answered, "What, with you repeating every line and laughing like a six-month-old who just discovered that her feet were connected to her body."

Katniss furrowed her brow for half a second before relaxing her face. "It's because I'm high right now." Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her palm. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Said what?"

"That I'm high."

He chuckled and gently moved her hand from her mouth. "And why shouldn't you have said that?"

"Because you're my teacher. And teachers shouldn't know when their pupils are under the influence of substances."

"Katniss..."

"No, really! I mean, I know you've seen me drunk before and that was mortifying enough already, but you weren't my professor then. At least, I didn't know you were my professor. So that didn't really count. But now I know that you are my professor, so you can't know. Or you shouldn't know. Even though you do know. So just pretend that you don't know..." she rambled on until he shushed her.

"Katniss. You're not my student anymore. Not really."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said. And that's true. But for what you're talking about, I'm not your teacher anymore."

He was next to her, watching her intently as she sucked her lower lip into her mouth. More than anything, he wanted that lower lip in his mouth. As if she could read his mind, she closed the small gap between them and kissed him. She could taste the whiskey he had with dinner on his lips. He was intoxicating on his own but the added hint of oak fueled her desire to taste more of him.

In his state of confusion, it took him half a second to recognize what was happening. But unlike their previous kiss, this time he wasn't going to let her get away. Each kiss built upon the last; lips against lips, tongues slipping past one another as they became familiar with the other. His hands gripped her hips, his fingers hooking into the waistband of the shorts she never bothered to change out of.

Without releasing their hold, he rolled onto his back, pulling Katniss on top of him. He shifted one hand down to hold her ass and the other entangled itself in her hair, easily loosening chunks from her braid that he would pull slightly when she sucked his lip into her mouth after a kiss. She shifted her hips over him, hissing at the initial contact between their clothed bodies.

"Thank you," she pulled away slightly to tell him. They were both red in the face and breathless, but the loopy smile remained on her face.

"For what?"

She kissed the corner of his mouth. "For texting me back." She kissed the sensitive skin below his left earlobe. "For dinner." She pulled his shirt off over his head and kissed the inked skin over his heart. "For the movie." Slowly working her lips down his chest, she thanked him for keeping her company, for not making classes awkward, for kissing her. "For taking care of me," she finished, her mouth right above the drawstring of his gym shorts. "Now I want to take care of you." Her voice dropped half an octave at the end of her sentence and his breath hitched.

He gulped as she hovered above his obvious erection through the light material. If it weren't for the glassy sheen in her eyes, he would have let her continue. The rational part of his brain was reminding him that he wasn't 'that guy' who takes advantage of girls. Especially when he was certain that girl would regret this in the morning and never look at him the same way. "Katniss," he reached down for her. "Stop. Come back up here."

"Don't you want me to suck your cock, Peeta?" she asked. Her innocent tone sent a shock straight to his groin, and he stifled a groan as her lips danced along the fabric covering his hardness.

_More than anything I've wanted before_, he thought. "I do, but..."

"Then stop talking and let me." She gave his straining head an open mouthed kiss. "Let me 'take care' of you." Her fingers began pulling down on his waistband and he was fully intent on letting his brain shut down to just enjoy this moment until she giggled slightly.

_Oh yeah, dumbshit. She can't fucking consent._ A slew of words slammed into his brain, all directed at his own stupidity, and he sat up quickly. "Katniss, stop."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Don't you want me?"

"It's not that, I promise." He reached for her arm and pulled her back toward him. "But, um," he stalled, trying to think of whatever he could that would best diffuse the situation and her surprising change of demeanor. "You just had major dental surgery, your mouth's been through enough trauma."

She stared up at him through her eyelashes. "Someone's cocky," she deadpanned. A second later, her head was buried in his chest and her body was shaking once again from her laughter. "That wasn't even funny, was it?"

"Not particularly," he conceded, wrapping his arms around her. "I do want you, Katniss. But that would most definitely violate the 'we can't do anything until grades are posted' rule."

She twisted her lips into a slight pout. "But what about kissing? Can we keep doing that?"

He wasn't sure if that was allowed, but he had just denied his body a sure thing and he'd be damned if he did it again. "I suppose that's harmless enough."

She wiggled up so their faces lined up and kissed him. It was less ferocious this time, as they spent the moment learning the feel of their lips and the dance of their tongues.

"We could possibly do something else," he whispered against her throat. "Something that wouldn't break the rule."

"Yeah?" she moaned as he suckled a spot under her chin.

"Yeah." He slipped a hand down to her cotton shorts, running up and down the length of her legs. His fingers brushed against her center through her shorts, teasing her like she had teased him. "I can't touch you. Not yet."

Her hips bucked with each pass. As if her mind wasn't slightly hazy enough, the building heat between them fogged out everything. "But," he let his hand rest dangerously close to where she wanted him the most. "You can touch yourself." His voice was low and husky and she shifted her hips so his fingers could brush against her.

The medication had clearly taken away all of her inhibition. Katniss didn't have a problem with masturbation; Madge even gave her a new vibrator for Christmas last year because her old one "made too much damn noise." But it was her own personal thing. She was embarrassed about her present only because it meant that Madge knew when she was using her old one. Under normal circumstances, she would have clenched her knees together and stopped all talk about it with Peeta. But these weren't normal circumstances and truth be told, she didn't want him to stop talking about it. Especially when he dragged her hand down to join his.

She could feel the heat radiating from her center, not realizing just how turned on she was at the idea of him watching her get off. He rolled her off to the side of him and kissed her. "If you don't want to do this, we don't have to." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

She shook her head. "I do want this," she whispered. "I want you to watch me."

"Watch you what, Katniss?" His eyes were dark and his free hand snaked under his shorts as he began to idly stroke himself.

She licked her very dry lips. "I want you to watch me come." In the dark corners of her mind when she had her vibrator buried between her legs she'd think that way, but those were not words she used out loud in a very long time. "And I want to watch you come."

He freed both of his hands, lifted his hips, and pulled his shorts off. She gasped slightly. He was bigger than she expected, not that she thought he'd be small, but he had to be above average. The dusting of light chest hair he had became slightly darker the further down his torso it went. He chuckled. "You approve?"

"Yes," she answered as he resumed stroking. She couldn't tear her eyes off the way his abdominals or the muscles in his forearm flexed as he slid his hand up and down his length, gathering his precum for lubrication.

"You like watching me."

She knew it wasn't a question. "Yes," she answered breathily.

"And you wish this cock was deep inside you right now, don't you?"

"Yes," she moaned.

"Show me." His eyes had been locked on hers the entire time and she found herself lost in them once she looked away from his dick.

She fumbled slightly to remove her shorts when he stopped her. "No, wait. This isn't how this should go."

"But-"

He sat up slightly and kissed her, pulling her as close to him as he dared. His hands pushed under her tank top, resting right underneath her breasts. She pulled her tank top off, completely exposing her now bare chest to him.

"God," he murmured, gazing over her breasts. "You're so beautiful."

"I'm tiny. I don't think they count," she answered.

"No," he held his hands over them without touching. "See? They fit perfectly." She snorted. There was no way her barely-size B breasts fit 'perfectly' in his hands. "You wait, Miss Everdeen. You'll see."

She shuddered at his words, at the implication. 'You'll see' meant this would happen again. It meant he'd finally touch her with his hands or mouth or tongue or...or that cock. She knew she didn't have a big enough chest for him to do anything with his cock that was enjoyable, but it didn't stop her imagination from running wild. _Maybe this drug haze isn't such a bad thing after all..._

When he kissed her again, his chest brushed against a hardened nipple and they both groaned at the contact. It didn't take long before Katniss slipped her shorts off, leaving her only in her light blue boyshorts.

"They match your tank top," he mused. "Cute." He hooked his finger around the waistband and pulled them off her. He was practically growling at her naked body.

She was glad she thought to shave yesterday, so she was still relatively smooth save for the small strip she left in the front. She could never go completely bald like some girls, it made her feel too exposed.

"I can see how slick you are from here..."

She knew how aroused he made her. She was surprised she hadn't soaked through her shorts watching Peeta jerk himself off. But she faked her innocence and slipped a finger down to her glistening folds.

"You get like that just thinking about my cock."

She moaned and inserted a finger deep inside her, using her thumb to rub circles around her clit. As much as she wanted to close her eyes, like when she was alone, the rhythmic slapping sound coming from Peeta forced them open. It was almost enough to send her over the edge. He was watching her finger disappear inside herself with such intensity and stroked himself at the same pace as she did.

_If I'm going to do this, I'm doing it just like at home,_ she told herself. Her free hand reached up and began caressing her breast, pinching the hardened nipple and gasping at the slight pain. His moans only enhanced her own desire and she added a second finger, thrusting faster than before.

She heard him spit into his hand and paused. She hadn't considered the fact that he was basically dry rubbing himself and not using lube. She nudged his shoulder and told him to bring his occupied hand over to her.

"What are you -" His words were cut off by the loud exhale as she took his fingers in her mouth.

The dentist's orders about not sucking through a straw floated into her head, so instead she opted to run her tongue along his first two fingers to coat them with her saliva. "If you didn't have that 'no touching each other' rule, I could have used something different," she said with a smirk. "So that will have to do for now."

"I swear, Katniss, if you can suck my dick half as good as that, I could die a very satisfied man," he chuckled darkly, kissing her. The sounds of their rising orgasms filled the living room, intermittent with kisses and gasps. "Katniss, are you-"

"Close," she finished with a shaky breath. The spring wound tighter and tighter in her lower stomach when she heard him cry her name. Turning her head, she watched as he finished on his stomach.

Her own coil snapped and she pressed firmly on her clit as the warmth of her orgasm flooded through her. Her hips bucked with each wave of pleasure; she closed her eyes and let her breathing even out, sliding her fingers out of her. They brushed over her sensitive clit and her body shivered. "Wow."

"Yeah," he agreed, equally as breathless. She smiled when she felt him get up and grab a wash rag from the bathroom. He cleaned himself off but when she reached for it, he tossed it over his shoulder. "Allow me to return the favor..." He grasped her wrist and ran his tongue along her slick fingers, tasting her fully. She tried to pull away at first until his hold tightened and he finished licking her clean.

She smiled shyly and pulled her hand close to her chest. "Thanks?"

"Oh, Miss Everdeen, just wait." His repeated promise of future time together had the same effect as the first time. He slipped his shorts back on but left his t-shirt crumpled on the floor. She pulled her panties and tank top on and sat up next to him. "You tired?" he asked, watching her try to stifle a yawn. She was amazed at how quickly he could revert from the man whose words dripped like sex to the nice guy she was used to. She nodded. "Want me to take you home?"

"What time is it?" Katniss asked.

"Almost 11. I'm okay to drive you back to your apartment if you'd like." He had refilled his whiskey glass at least twice since dinner but had done a fairly decent job of building up his tolerance. Grad school was not for the weak of heart, nor liver.

She struggled to keep her eyes open. "Yeah, that's fine. I just need to find my pants..."

He reached over her and fished her shorts off the floor. "You can always stay here, you know," he offered, handing the cotton bottoms to her. "My bed is pretty comfortable."

"That's very forward of you, isn't it?"

He flushed. "No, I meant, you can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep out here."

"Out here?" she asked, looking around the living room. "You mean on all your fancy furniture? Where is your furniture, by the way?"

"It's being delivered. I had to buy all new stuff when I moved here and I'm very...particular when it comes to what's in my space, so it took me a while. But I think it's due here sometime next week." He laughed. "I'm sure I look like a weirdo or something with no couch in this enormous room."

She considered his offer. She was getting more and more exhausted by the minute, thanks to the oxycodone. It was one of the reasons she hated these pills; once she started coming down from the high and could begin to pretend to think rationally, she became so tired she couldn't function. _I need to start weaning myself off these soon, _she told herself. Madge wouldn't be home until late, so Katniss would be spending at least three hours by herself in their apartment. And even though she was just going to sleep, the idea of having someone else, even Madge who couldn't kill a spider, there when Katniss couldn't actively defend herself was reassuring. Staying with Peeta would be just that, reassuring her anxiety.

It had nothing to do with the burning she still felt for him. "Okay," she agreed. "If you don't mind having a roommate for the night, that is."

His smile was heart-stopping. He helped her to her feet and led her through the short hallway to his bedroom. It was similar to the living room, spacious and luxurious, but at least had some semblance of decor. His queen-sized bed was in the corner with an antique-looking wooden headboard against the wall. On the other side was his wooden desk, complete with the same design as the headboard with half-hazard stacks of papers all over it, just like the one in his office. He had a makeshift dresser of stacked plastic totes with masking tape labels over each drawer. She stifled a giggle at his "underwear" drawer, complete with a drawing of a stick figure wearing tighty whiteys. The meds were wearing off but weren't fully out of her system yet. At least the clothes in his closet were hung up so he didn't look like a total college student, although there was absolutely no semblance of order to them.

"Um, you should be warm enough in here with all the blankets. But if you need more, there are some under the bed." He ran his hand along the back of his neck and shuffled his left foot along the carpet. "It gets pretty dark because of the curtains, so feel free to leave them open a little. Otherwise you may never see the sun," he gave a slight chuckle at this, recalling the day he literally slept away his morning because he had no concept of what time it was.

"Where are you going to sleep?" she asked as he started to walk out of his room.

"In the living room."

"On the floor?" It was a stupid question. _Where else would he sleep, Katniss? He doesn't have a couch, remember?_

"It's not the first time I've slept on the floor," he answered with a twinge of something she couldn't recognize in his voice. He turned back and gave her a stiff, artificial smile. "I'll be okay. Go to bed. I'll make you breakfast in the morning if you want."

Katniss stood by the edge of his bed for a few minutes after he walked out and closed the door most of the way behind him, waiting for, for what? For him to come back in the room? Resigned that he was actually going to sleep in the living room, she walked over to flip his light off. _Holy shit, he wasn't kidding about it being dark in here, _she thought, giving her eyes time to adjust to the total darkness that enveloped her. She could make out the shape of the bed in the darkness and eased her way toward the black shape. It was warm under his blankets and far more comfortable than the floor had been. Yet she tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable way to sleep.

She knew why the bed felt wrong. It was too empty. A bed this big needed another body in it. That's why she wanted Peeta back, to make the bed feel like it wasn't swallowing her. Not because she wondered what it would feel like to fall asleep in his arms.

She tiptoed toward the living room and tripped over his sprawled-out body on the floor. "Oof!" she exclaimed, her arms stretching out to the floor to catch herself.

"Katniss?" His voice was quiet and put her on edge. It was just like when he left his bedroom and she didn't like that he wasn't sounding like the confident Peeta she knew. "Is something wrong?"

"I, uh, I couldn't sleep," she answered, sliding onto the floor next to him. "Your bed is really big."

He laughed and reached for her. In the darkness, she could make out his pale arms and scooted over to him. "It's a little excessive, isn't it? Somedays I wish my couch was here just so I don't feel so small when I sleep."

"Can I sleep out here with you? That way neither of us feel so small?"

She could tell he smiled even if she couldn't see it. "No. But we can both go sleep in my bed. I'm getting too old to willingly sleep on the floor."

"Well, that's for damn sure. Come on, Grandpa, before you throw your back out."

As they curled together in his bed, she ran her fingers along the tattooed symbol on his chest.

"Do you have any?" he asked, brushing through her hair with his hand. "Tattoos, I mean."

She shook her head. "I don't particularly like needles. Besides, why would I want to color all over my body? It's just going to look like shit by the time I'm old. Did this hurt?"

"It was worth it," he answered. "I got it right after my eighteenth birthday. My mother was livid when she found out about it."

"She doesn't like tattoos either?"

He laughed. "Not in the least. I think her exact phrase was, 'Tattoos only belong on criminals and soldiers, of which you are neither' and then didn't talk to me for at least a week." He sucked in a breath. "I can't remember which one of us broke first. We're both stubborn as hell, so it was a tense week in the Mellark household."

"What about your Dad?"

"Uh, I never really knew my Dad. He wasn't really...active...in my life. Mom basically raised me by herself," he admitted.

She wanted to ask him more, about his mom and his absent father, about what his tattoo meant and why he got it, who the girl on the DVD cover was and where she was. Katniss wanted to know more about this young, attractive professor who clearly had a story to tell. She rested her head over his tattoo. She wanted to know, but the drowsiness was taking over her body faster than she anticipated.

"Sleep, Katniss," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. As if he could read her mind, he assured her that they would talk more later.

She was comforted by his arms around her. She didn't even want to make up a secondary reason for it. Comfort. That was what she felt with him.

* * *

AN:

Katniss' wisdom teeth experience? Yep. That happened. Novacaine definitely wore off while the dentist was cutting into my gums. Most traumatic experience of my life.

"Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May" is a fantastic poem by Robert Herrick.

Songs included are both by Pink Floyd. "Wish You Were Here" and, of course, "Another Brick in the Wall Pt 2"

As always, I appreciate all the favorites/follows/and reviews and a big THANK YOU to Chelzie for tackling this monster. To my SSS girls, I know I kind of promised this chapter to end differently but to get it to that point would have doubled the length of this chapter…oops.

Check me out on tumblr (mitchesbcray) where all kind of nonsense goes down.


	4. Chapter 4

The first time Katniss woke that night, she didn't bother to open her eyes and was almost instantly lulled back to sleep by the warm arms embracing her. Like a pleasant dream, she felt safe and content.

* * *

The second time, the warmth had been replaced by a soft glow from a computer screen. She painfully cracked an eye open and saw Peeta sitting at his desk with his laptop open. "Peeta," she croaked, sitting up on her elbows, "What are you doing?"

He turned his head and smiled at the sight of her bed-tossed hair. "I couldn't sleep so I wanted to get some work done, but if my computer is bothering you, I can go in the other room."

Katniss pulled off the blankets and crawled over to where he was sitting. Up close, she could make out the redness in his eyes and his slightly puffy cheeks. "No," she answered, crawling into his lap with an audible yawn, "What are you working on?"

"Katniss," he kissed her temple. "You're tired. Go back to sleep."

She shook her head. She was tired, but it didn't feel right without him there. "I'll keep you company until you're ready for bed."

He chuckled and wrapped his arm around her so he could continue typing. "Okay, but this is pretty boring stuff."

She yawned again and rested her head on his shoulder. "Of course it is, it's psychology." He poked her ribs with his elbows, making her giggle and squirm. "Alright," she conceded, "I'm sure not all psychology is boring. Just apparently whatever it is you do is boring." After a few minutes of searching online and saving articles to his jump drive, she broke the semi-silence. "What do you do?"

"I study the effects of social ostracism in group relations," he answered without taking his eyes of the screen.

"Fascinating," she mumbled, her eyelids getting heavy despite the light in front of her. He must have said something else, because she could feel his body vibrate, but the warmth was back so she drifted off to sleep again.

* * *

It was morning when she fully awoke. She was back in bed with the blankets tucked around her, but again, she was alone. When she opened her eyes, she immediately cursed herself for not taking her contacts out last night.

Peeta was shirtless in the kitchen, standing over a steaming pot on the stove when she stumbled in, nearly blind from the dryness of her eyes. He turned when he heard her and flashed a brilliant smile, "I made some breakfast you should be able to eat, if you're hungry, that is."

"Sure, I just, uh, need to use the bathroom first, if that's okay?" She heard the words nervously tumble out of her mouth and quickly turned on her heels to run down the hall and splash some water onto her face. For someone who hadn't even shared the deepest parts of her past with her best friend, Katniss found that she couldn't stop herself from wanting to snoop into Peeta's life, or at least his medicine cabinet. She was in the middle of scolding herself when her eyes landed on rows of amber bottles, all almost completely full of little white pills.

She quickly closed the mirror and scooted back into the kitchen, where he was setting bowls of oatmeal and cooked spiced apples on the table. As she sat and watched the steam rise from the breakfast he so thoughtfully made for her—the apples were peeled and soft enough for her to painlessly eat—she caught herself thinking about the night before and all the questions she had before she fell asleep.

"Peeta, uh, can we talk about what happened last night?" The bravery that led her to go through his bathroom was gone as quickly as it came on, and the nervous energy returned.

"So you wanted to talk?" Peeta asked, swallowing a spoonful of his oatmeal.

"Don't you think we should?"

Peeta set his spoon down in his bowl and studied her, the way she chewed on her lip and fidgeted with her hair. He knew last night shouldn't have happened - any of it. He shouldn't have invited her over, he shouldn't have allowed her to kiss him, and he definitely shouldn't have kissed her back. And while they /technically/ hadn't done anything wrong, beyond the kissing, he knew better. He knew even that was unacceptable and could get him fired if anyone found out. She was a student. He was a professor.

But to actually sleep with her, to hold her until she fell asleep, that had consequences beyond his career. There had been a feeling of intimacy last night he couldn't afford to feel again. He hadn't shared a bed with anyone since Delly, and even that was long before he eventually left. His share of one-night stands ever since ended with him sleeping alone, just like the doctor ordered. Kind of.

His unofficial shrink told him it would be best for him to wait two years, minimum, before he could even consider having a functioning relationship with someone else. Melinda Paylor had never been one to bullshit him, even when he was a lowly first year and she was finishing up her dissertation and training. They kept in contact and met up for drinks for the duration of his time in grad school. She knew everything about him and provided him with her objective viewpoint and clinical evaluation. They were friends, but she was a clinician first. 'Two years, minimum, Peet,' she said after the breakup. 'But you were with Delly for four, and you were part of a family with her and Maddie. It could take even longer. You can't rush into something new; you need to take this time to right yourself. You're not exactly prime rib right now. If you get into something with someone before you're better, you'll risking hurting her and yourself. That will happen. You just need to decide whether it's worth it.'

It wasn't worth it. He didn't want to hurt anyone and he had been through enough of it himself. He could go two years. It wouldn't be hard. He kept enough reminders of why he wasn't ready for it around the house, enough evidence of the life he had that damn near killed him. He couldn't go through that again. And he would never put anyone else through that kind of pain if he could help it. So he didn't. Until he met Katniss, who somehow wriggled her way in and latched on to the one part of him he didn't want.

Melinda told him two years minimum, if the next girl didn't come with excessive baggage of her own. And Katniss Everdeen had baggage. She had so many skeletons, her closet was like a graveyard. He first started to suspect it when Madge talked to him that night in the bar and told him that if his intention was to screw her over, he'd need to find a new target. He laughed initially, and reassured the girl that he was just getting to know Katniss. And that he would never intentionally screw a girl over. But Peeta saw a recurring pattern in her work during class which confirmed she was no ordinary college student. Even for a senior, she viewed the world differently than the others. It was a cold and calloused place, according to her, that would chew you up and spit you back out if you didn't protect yourself from its harsh realities.

He had no idea just what she had been through, as her responses to any personal questions or applications of theory were vague or incomplete. But he knew that even once they were in the clear, their relationship would be a strain if they got too serious. He wasn't sure he could give her up entirely, in fact he was positive of it, but she would be graduating at the end of the year anyway, so maybe it wouldn't be completely insane to think they could be non-serious together. Whether they could or not, he had to make it clear that whatever they ended up being, a conventional relationship was just not in the cards for them right now. He had to make sure they weren't serious.

"I think we can both agree that what happened last night was a...a mistake," Peeta said quietly, dropping his eyes to his bowl.

The words stung more than she initially realized. She thought, foolishly perhaps, for a while that eventually jabs like that would no longer affect her, that she had become desensitized to the implications of "mistake" and "average" and "ridiculous" and "crazy." Lord knows she had heard them enough that under normal circumstances, she would be. But those weren't really normal circumstances, she supposed. And neither was this.

* * *

"So, um, do you want me to take you home?" Peeta asked when Katniss finally exited the bathroom. He was leaning against the table, wearing a t-shirt and a worn Cubs baseball cap over his still unruly hair. "Or I mean, if you want to call your roommate to come get you or something, that's fine, too, I suppose."

She watched his fingers twitch, undoubtedly urging to run through his hair, a nervous tic of his she noticed during class. "Um, well, if you had plans for today, that's fine. I don't want to be an inconvenience."

"You're not an inconvenience, Katniss." They were dancing around the awkwardness that still surrounded them. The reason she spent so long locked in the bathroom. Why he had gripped the back of the kitchen chair so hard she thought he'd snap it.

But it was too much for right now, too deep for their first actual time together. It was just a matter of who would break first; who would be willing to relent.

Katniss shrugged. "What did you have planned?"

"Well, the Cubs play today so I was just going to watch that," he answered, chuckling when she immediately crinkled her nose. "Not a baseball girl or not a Cubs girl?"

"Baseball," she responded. "I just never got into it as a kid, I guess."

He nodded. "We can do something else. If you're wanting to stick around for a while."

"And miss listening to you try to convince me the Cubs don't suck this year?"

Peeta grabbed at his chest. "You always go for the kill shot so early? Insulting a man's team is grounds for punishment of some sort."

"Like having to sit through a Cubs game?"

"You're just on fire with these zingers, aren't you?" He laughed and shook his head, "If you're not careful, you won't get any kind of reward for your troubles."

Her heart pounded and her blood rushed through her at the mere implication of a punishment from Peeta. She could tell it affected him, too, the way his breathing shallowed and his eyes couldn't leave hers. The shockwave that pulsed through her body overwhelmed their recent "talk" about what they could or couldn't do together. They were playing with fire, even just talking to each other, but she found herself unable to resist. And by the sounds of it, he couldn't either. She cleared her throat, thankful she had the muscle control to do even that. "I, uh, I should probably change first."

He shrugged, "I don't know, I kind of like it."

"That's because you're an old perv."

"Can't really deny that, can I?"

* * *

"Really, Peeta? A beer? It's only like...11:30," Katniss joked when Peeta cracked open a bottle of 312 and settled beside her on the ridiculous Cubs blanket he pulled out from the closet.

"What? It's a baseball game," he protested. "And everyone knows you can't watch baseball without having a beer. It's just...part of the atmosphere."

She cocked an eyebrow and took a sip of her water. "Part of the atmosphere?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed. "I got my PhD at Northwestern so field trips to Wrigley Field were a common occurrence. It was a tradition of sorts, I guess – a Chicago style hot dog and a draft of whatever was on tap that day." He shrugged. "I don't know, I just can't seem to watch a game without one now. That's probably ridiculous, isn't it?"

"Yep," she smiled, watching him throw a mock glare at her. "So you went to games a lot?"

"Whenever I could, really. There's just something relaxing about being out in the air watching guys play a game they love, being with your family. I miss it, actually. You don't really have much for professional sports around here so I have to settle for WGN's broadcasting." He took another swig of his beer as the announcers began their pre-game commentary. Starting lineups, team stats, all the stuff that hardcore baseball fans lived and died over.

"Was your Mom a big baseball fan?" she asked after a few minutes. She tried paying attention to what was happening on the television but couldn't stay interested. She didn't know any of these players, but cracked up when they talked about former players like Milton Bradley and Coco Krispy and wondered why any parent would name their child that. And if baseball fans knew there were players with names like that. And how many other players had hysterical names.

"Ah, no. She never had much time for it. David loved it - he's the one who got me interested in it, I suppose. It's the one good thing he gave me."

She scrunched her face as she watched him realize what he just said. It was obvious it came out unintentionally from the way his eyes got big and he took a very long drink - nearly finishing off the bottle in one swallow. She wanted to ask him who David was and why he hated the man so much, but didn't know if it was her place. They were friends, she assumed, but was that an aspect of his life that friends delved into? And what if he asked the same type of questions about her? She wouldn't tell him anything about her parents or Prim or anything about the life she had before college. She didn't even talk to Madge about those things, and yet Madge was her best friend. Whatever that meant. "Who's your favorite player?"

He was relieved when she didn't push him. He didn't know what made him even think about mentioning that asshole who all but ruined his and his mother's life. David did significantly more damage to the Mellark family than anyone else, even the dick who knocked up his Mom and walked away. He released his white-knuckled grip on his bottle, the same reaction he had whenever Ron came up in conversation, and sighed. "On this team? Shit, it's hard to say who's any good anymore. I'd have to go with DeJesus. He's not bad, if slightly underrated. He was a new trade from KC last year and didn't necessarily do a whole lot, but he's got potential. Some people don't like him, but I think he's got it in him still."

She nodded and leaned back against the wall, her shoulder brushing against his, as the game finally started. She wasn't a huge fan of baseball, not on television anyway. It was too slow and too frequently interrupted by the color commentators giving their opinions on why that batter struck out or what the third basemen should have done differently to catch the ball. All too often, she found herself wanting to comment back with a, "maybe if he didn't swing at pitches that were below his knees," or "if he put his glove on the ground, that ball wouldn't have slipped through his legs," but Peeta's groans and sighs of frustration were enough to keep her mouth shut.

Miraculously, the Cubs were winning. She may not know much about professional baseball, but she knew that was a miraculous thing. Peeta was giddy next to her, tapping his thumbs on his bouncing knees and smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. He began throwing more stats out to her whenever players came up to bat. "Rizzo batted a .250 last year, we really need him to pick up his shit," or, "A lefty versus a lefty. Conditions are prime for a homer." She didn't really understand most of what he spouted out, but it made her smile to see him acting so carefree. She decided she liked this Peeta, the guy who was passionate about his sport but still willing to teach her. She could be friends with this Peeta. And when the time came, she really wanted to spend more time with this Peeta.

"And coming in to close it out for the Cubs is Carlos Marmol…"

"No! No no no no no! No fucking way! What the fucking hell!"

Okay, maybe passionate-about-baseball Peeta wasn't all that great. "Um...who is Carlos Marmol?"

Peeta shook his head and let out a heavy breath. "Carlos Marmol is a worthless piece of shit."

"That doesn't really help me."

"He's a relief pitcher that should be released as soon as possible, but the management are fucking idiots and gave him a fantastic fucking contract when they signed him. He's every other team's wet dream and the bane of all Cubs fans' existence."

She stared at the television screen as the new pitcher threw some warm up pitches. He seemed alright to her, even though she couldn't tell just how far "inside" or "outside" the zone pitches were without a batter for reference. And he was a professional baseball player, so he couldn't be that terrible. "Why? You guys are up by three runs with one inning left. How much damage could one guy do in the bottom of the ninth?"

A lot, it turns out. Carlos Marmol was indeed the bane of all Cubs fans' existence and could do quite a bit of damage, especially when he gave up a three-run homer on his fourth batter. Peeta was furious, yelling obscenities at the TV, all directed at the "worthless piece of shit pitcher." She tried not to laugh at him. She could tell how important baseball was to Peeta and how much he loved his team. And she was guilty of getting over excited during football season, to the point of getting kicked out of a sports bar for starting a fight with the rival team's fans after one of their players was caught crying on camera. In her mind, no one talks shit until someone starts shit. Then, it's fair game. It's not her fault the other team sucked and lost on senior day. There was something about Peeta when he was all riled up that she couldn't resist watching. Even when he finally looked over and caught her, she found herself unwilling to look away from him. She licked her bottom lip at the way his eyes locked onto hers.

He reached toward her, pulling her face to his, and kissed her. This was wrong on so many levels. Friends don't kiss like this. Teachers don't kiss their students like this, even if it was just a technicality. And they had just finished their talk about what was acceptable and what wasn't. Kissing was definitely on the unacceptable list. But the taste of her skin was too much for him to just give up that easily. He was riled up and all reason flew out the window when he saw the way she looked at him. He pulled her onto his lap, her legs wrapping around his back as their kisses intensified.

"What about the rules?" she asked between kisses. "No touching? No kissing?"

He pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers. "We did agree on those rules for a reason. I should just take you home because I question my self-control right now."

"We'll start tomorrow," Katniss answered, pulling him in for another heavy kiss.

His hands splayed across her back, pulling her closer to him. She let out a throaty sigh when she felt his bulge nestle between her legs. And another when he reached down to "rearrange" himself and his hand brushed against her shorts-covered center, which was already buzzing from the kiss. She thrust her hips against his, the friction caused by her shorts against his building erection sparked a flame in her lower abdomen.

She could tell he wanted to touch her, his hands shifting from her hips to her thighs, and then back to her hips. She groaned. As amazing as dry humping was, and she couldn't remember the last time dry humping felt this good, she wanted more. She needed more. She needed him.

"Peeta," she moaned into his ear before latching onto his earlobe.

He threw his head back against the wall with a groan. "Fuck, Katniss, I want you so bad."

Her mind was hazy from the surge of hormones rushing through her. "Take me, Peeta. Please." Her voice was breathy and thick with need. She moved her lips to the skin behind his ear and continued to thrust her hips against his. "I'm yours, Peeta."

He bucked his hips under hers, eliciting a cry of pleasure from the new angle. He was breathing heavily, his grip on her hips tightened as he directed her body over his. She could feel the tension inside her building at a feverish pace until it completely overtook her. She buried her head in his shoulder, biting into the soft fabric of his shirt as she rode out her orgasm.

He was panting below her and wrapped his arms around her. "Fuck," he exhaled into her hair.

"Right?" she laughed, sliding off of him and taking a long drink of her once forgotten water. This was a mistake. They were coming dangerously close to the point of no return. She wondered if she'd ever be able to resist him. And what would happen once they crossed that line? Peeta was addicting; his eyes, his touch, his lips, his entire essence was something she didn't know how to do without.

The realization was sobering. She needed out before it was too late, before she let him in completely.

* * *

"What's up with you?"

"What are you talking about?" Katniss looked up from her plate into her roommate's worried eyes.

"You've been weird lately, like for the past few weeks. You haven't wanted to do anything; you just stay holed up in the apartment or at work." Madge took a bite of her take-out, their typical 'Friday night at home' dinner. "I'm just worried about you, that's all. Does this have anything to do with that guy?"

Katniss shrugged. "No reason to be worried, I guess. I just haven't really wanted to do much." She pushed her food around on her plate, dreading the question she knew was on her friend's mind. Since that weekend with Peeta, Katniss had felt a bit fuzzy with everything. She couldn't help but ruminate over what happened and more often, what she couldn't let happen again.

"Do we need to schedule another-"

"No," Katniss interrupted with a firm voice. "No. I'm okay, Madge. Just kind of having a blah time. It's not like it was before." She forced a small smile. "Really, it's not. Trust me?"

Madge pursed her lips before finally relenting. "You'll tell me if it starts getting bad again?"

"Yes, Moooooom," Katniss rolled her eyes and threw a spring roll at Madge, who skillfully caught it and took a large bite before throwing it back with a giggle. "That's gross, Madge."

The girls continued their dinner in relative silence, broken up only by the heavy sighs coming from Madge, which increased as the clock ticked toward 8pm.

"Madge, dear, is there something you want?"

"No," she answered with a smile. And another sigh.

Katniss raised her eyebrows and waited for the blonde to look in her direction. "What's wrong, Madgey?"

"Oh my word, don't ever call me that again," Madge groaned. She should have known better than to tell Katniss her grandmother's nickname for her. "It's just..."

"Yes?"

She sighed. "Never mind. You probably wouldn't be interested."

"What do you want me to wear?" Katniss deadpanned. Madge let out an excited squeal and jumped over to the couch next to her, enveloping her in a bone-crushing hug.

* * *

By the time they arrived at the bar Gale directed them to, the line outside was already at least thirty people deep. 'The Innocents' were a popular cover band that only came through town three or four times a year and almost everyone wanted to see them. They were also Katniss' favorite act, a tidbit Madge didn't even need to use to convince her roommate to come out. She was relieved that Katniss agreed; sometimes when she got into moods, like the one she had been in for the past few months, getting her to socialize was damn near impossible. Well, more impossible than normal. She considered herself lucky that this happened to work out when it did.

"Fuck this line, Madge," Katniss grumbled. Lines only meant one thing - the bar was nearly to capacity and the bouncers were starting to limit who got in.

Madge scanned the line, her lips set. "Gale said he and Darius could make sure we got in, but I don't see them anywhere."

"Let's just take our spots before this wait gets any worse." Katniss grabbed at Madge's elbow, dragging her to the end of the line, which was now beginning to wrap around the back of the building to the courtyard, where the band would be performing.

It was there that Katniss spotted Darius' messy red hair standing near the exit of the courtyard. Yanking Madge's elbow again, they crept over to him, knowing full well the boys were planning on getting them in without them having to pay the cover. Sure enough, when Darius saw them, he turned so they were blocked by his body, and followed after them. It wasn't the first time they'd snuck into a concert at a bar, they knew the drill.

"Damn, Katniss, you look sexier every time I see you," Darius whistled. Madge snorted when Katniss glared at him, then down at her legs. She had relented and worn the only skirt she owned, a black and white cotton one that barely grazed her mid-thigh. Madge's influence, partially, though it was a tradition of theirs since they both donned skirts the first time they ever saw the band perform. And of course, Darius would make a big show of it.

Gale laughed and handed Darius the second bottle of beer he had been holding. "I can't believe you're still harboring a crush on that girl, Dar. She's colder than a fucking penguin."

"Oh fuck off, Gale," Katniss shot back, stealing his beer and finishing it off. "Yuck, why'd you let it get warm, Rookie?" She would have preferred to stay at home, watching cheesy movies on TV all night, but she also had to admit that being around her friends was probably a better decision. She knew isolating herself wasn't healthy, but sometimes she couldn't snap her mind out of its 'island' mindset. These were the times when she was thankful that Madge was so social and outgoing. If it weren't for her, Katniss may never leave the apartment except for work.

* * *

"Katnip, isn't that the guy from the bar?" Gale slurred, his arm draped heavily over her shoulder. He pointed wildly until Darius laughed and veered his finger toward a table near the bar. Sure enough, there was Peeta, in a deliciously tight green plaid button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He was tapping the bottom of his glass against the table; leaning in to talk to a woman she had never seen before.

Even sitting down, Katniss could tell the woman was tall and muscular, with dark mocha skin and brown hair cropped short like a pixie. Her sharp cheekbones and wide set brown eyes only aided her exotic beauty, but more so was the confidence that oozed from every pore. Gale let out a long whistle which earned him an elbow to the gut and a glare from Madge.

"Uh, yeah, I think so," Katniss answered, trying to come off nonchalant, as if seeing Peeta next to another woman, next to a woman like that, didn't make her stomach churn. She had no claim on him. They both agreed that what happened that night almost three weeks ago was a mistake, especially given that their prior relationship wasn't technically over. She just didn't realize that meant he'd be moving on to someone else so soon. And judging from how comfortably her hand rested on his thigh or how carefree they both appeared together, it was clear that he had.

"Wait, the same guy you-"

Katniss downed the rest of her drink. "Yes, Madge."

"Oh I have half a mind to march over there and tell him off," Madge huffed. The girl meant well, but it was so hard to take her seriously when her 'upset' face was as cute as it was. Instead, Katniss grabbed her arm and pulled her to the area in front of the stage. "Katniss Everdeen! Are you here to dance?" Madge asked with a surprised laugh.

"Yes, ma'am. Are you objecting?" She was just buzzed enough to no longer care about the attention they were sure to receive by their presence in the dance space.

Madge shook her head gave her friend a hug. "You okay?" she asked quietly.

"I just want to forget for a while and have fun," Katniss responded. Pulling away, she flashed a smile. "Besides, we both know how much you love 'The Innocents', so let's enjoy them together!"

Because it was still relatively early in the evening, there weren't many others around them. Normally that would instantly have pushed Katniss back to a table, but seeing Peeta attached to another woman set something off inside her and she wanted to clear him from her mind. If she were at home she'd go for a run or to the gym, to replace the anxiety with sweat, but her only option here was to dance. So she did. And when Gale and Darius joined them, followed by others who gained the liquid courage themselves, she found it easier and easier to forget about Peeta's presence.

When the band took their first break, Katniss yelled to Madge that she was going to get them drinks before everyone else got the same idea. She knew the trick to get these particular bartenders to pay attention to her and she was hoping not to have to use it. As luck would have it, the bar was already clamoring with guys wanting shots and bombs, so she inconspicuously adjusted her shirt and pushed her arms across her body, creating the illusion that she wasn't completely flat chested, realizing she really should have sent Madge instead. She leaned over the bar and lightly ran her tongue over her lips. The bartenders here were pigs but they were predictable, because a few seconds of looking bored was all it took before one slid in front of her.

She thanked him with a smile and a wink, ensuring he'd take care of her the next time she came up.

"We need to stop meeting like this," a voice quipped as she turned and bumped into the person behind her.

"Oh, uh, hey," she flustered, trying her best to sound collected around him. He sure didn't seem to be affected by seeing her so why should she let him get to her? "Uh, how are you?"

He stuck a hand in his pocket to fish out his money. "Not too bad. You?"

"I'm good," she answered, bobbing her head.

"I got my new furniture last weekend."

"Oh good, so your apartment doesn't make you look like a creepy serial killer anymore?" She chuckled at the memory of his bare apartment and her initial reaction to it.

"Less so, definitely." The invitation for her to come and see it was hanging off his lips but he couldn't get the words out.

"Peety, if I had known it was going to take you so long, I would have come with you. You left me to the wolves."

Katniss felt her jaw twitch as the woman from Peeta's table slid her hand onto his shoulder and her other arm around his waist. She rested her chin on her hand and smiled. Katniss couldn't help but think her possessive body language and toothy smile resembled a shark honing in on its prey.

"Sorry, Jo, the line is crazy. Then I got distracted talking to Katniss." He nodded his head toward her. "This is Katniss. Katniss, this is-"

"Johanna," the woman offered, keeping her arm wrapped around his middle. "How do you know Peeta, Katniss?"

"Katniss here took my Intro to Psych class over the summer," Peeta answered with a smile, which Katniss nervously returned.

"Really? And what did you think of Professor Peeta?" Johanna asked with a purr.

Katniss nervously shifted her weight. She didn't know this woman but could already tell she didn't like her. She was beginning to think she didn't much like Peeta either if this was who he wanted to be around. "He was good," she squeaked. Clearing her throat, she decided she wasn't going to let the vixen get under her skin. "It was a very informative class." She held up the two bottles of beer in her hands. "Look, it was good to see you again, Peeta, er, Dr. Mellark. And it was nice to meet you, Johanna, but I should be getting these back to my friends before they get warm."

She pushed past the couple and kept her head down. She wiped her cheek quickly and hoped no one would be able to tell she had just been so upset. More than ever, she wanted to just get lost in the music and the dancing and the moment. If Peeta was so eager to move on from her, then she could play that game, too. She could show him how desirable she was to other men, how sexy she could be in her own right.

Peeta watched her walk away from them. As soon as Katniss was out of sight, Johanna unwrapped herself from him and grabbed her drink from his hand. "Dangerous game you're playing, Mellark, sleeping with a student."

"Jesus, Jo, keep your voice down will you?" They wandered back to their table to sit, his eyes still trying to track her in the crowd. "I'm not sleeping with her, okay? I'm not a complete idiot."

Johanna raised both of her eyebrows, not believing a word he said. "Okay, so you haven't actually had sex with the co-ed, but you're interested. And she's interested back. Why else do you think she freaked out when I came up?"

"Oh, I don't know, Jo, maybe you all but grabbing my junk in public. That's enough to freak anyone out," he snorted, taking a sip of his drink.

Johanna let out a barking laugh. "Look, Peeta, that may be. But that girl felt threatened by me, it radiated off her."

"Maybe it's just a crush."

"Peeta Mellark," Johanna set her glass down on the table and stared at him until he glanced over at her. "I may not be a social scientist like you, but I know when I'm being bullshitted, so save your breath."

"Jo..."

"Goddamnit, Peeta, what are you doing, messing around with a fucking kid like that? Did you not learn your lesson with Delly?"

"Don't bring her into this," Peeta growled, suddenly irrationally angry at the only person in his new life who knew about his old life. "Katniss is not like Delly, okay?"

"You didn't think Delly was going to be like Delly until it happened." Johanna countered. "You've made some mistakes here, Peeta," she continued with a knowing look, "But they've been innocent enough. Getting tangled up with a student is not innocent. They aren't going to care who your Mom is when that girl slaps you with a sexual harassment lawsuit and has you fired."

Peeta shook his head. Katniss wouldn't turn him in. She had said as much that afternoon they almost kissed in the classroom. But that was just kissing. There was no telling whether or not she thought they had gone too far the night before. She seemed to understand where he was coming from the next morning, why they shouldn't see each other at all until August; but even then, they should take things slow. That they weren't tied down to each other - if one of them met someone else, the other would be accepting of it. They had to keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. More than friends with benefits, but not a full-fledged relationship. There was no way either of them were ready for that.

By the time Katniss got back to her group, her legs still felt woozy but she had her have face back on. She knew better than to get this upset about him being here with another woman. He said himself that they shouldn't even see each other until August, so what business was it of hers what he did? She stopped dead in her tracks. _'What business is it of his what __I__ do?'_

If he was fooling around with another woman, then nothing was stopping her from having a good time with another guy. She had been clinging to Madge all night, stupidly afraid of offending Peeta by dancing with another guy - even Gale or Darius. Not anymore.

"Katniss! We thought we'd lost you!" Gale loudly exclaimed upon her arrival.

She handed Madge her beer and laughed. "How many sheets to the wind is he?"

The band returned to the stage, playing a cover version of 'Your Love' and when she felt Darius' hands land gently on her hips, rather than shove them away, she swiveled her hips into them. And during the next song, when a different pair of guys cut in on Darius and Gale, Katniss and Madge danced with them, too.

She knew her roommate was glad to see her out having fun. And it helped Katniss relax to see Madge genuinely having fun, rather than putting on the act she usually did when they went out. At some point, the band slowed things down and Gale and Darius muscled their way back to the girls' sides. Katniss didn't object when Darius wrapped his arms around her middle to sway to 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door' or when he pulled her closer to him and quietly hummed along. She let herself be carried away by the singer's smooth vocals and the gentle rocking motion. She tried not to compare the way it felt to have Darius' arms around her to Peeta's; to feel Darius's breath on her neck as opposed to Peeta's when he fell asleep. But those memories had stayed with her ever since that night. And as hard as she tried, there was no forgetting what it felt like to be with Peeta. _Fuck._

* * *

Peeta. 2:15am. /I'm sorry about Jo. Sometimes she forgets about boundaries when she's in public./

Katniss. 2:20am. /It's fine./

Katniss. 2:30am /I don't care what you and your plaything do together./

Peeta. 2:34am. /Plaything? Katniss, Johanna and I aren't together./

Katniss. 2:36am. /Sure./

Katniss. 2:38am. /I told you I don't care. You're the one who said we should be with other people./

Katniss. 2:40am. /So I don't care that you're fucking her./

Katniss stared at her phone, mostly drunk, and still angry that she hadn't been able to get him out of her head, even after the bar and a sloppy kiss with an equally drunk Darius. Then to go and text her, with an apology, like that would make things better. Her eyelids began to droop, tired from the night, when her phone buzzed. She picked it up, readying herself with a smart ass response to whatever he typed.

"Katniss?"

She stared at the phone. "Shit," she hissed. He hadn't texted her back, he had called her. Why the fuck was he calling her?

"Katniss?" he asked again.

With shaking fingers, she held her phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"I don't appreciate being told who I am or am not fucking, Katniss." His authoritarian tone sent shivers through her body. "Johanna and I are not fucking. The only person I have any interest in _fucking_ anymore is you."

She had her retort ready to go, but he left her speechless. His voice was low but held her completely captive.

"But we both know that can't happen, can it, Katniss?"

"No," she answered.

"And so until the day it can happen, I will not question what you do or who you spend your time with, and I expect the same respect from you."

Embarrassment swept across her face. That was what she agreed to that morning. She just hadn't anticipated being so angry at seeing him with someone else. Jealousy, she supposed. And possessiveness. She had never really been jealous before, not to the point of being so angry. She had been on the receiving end of both of those ugly emotions before, from the ex who got pissed when she spent "too much time with her sister" to his "friends" who wanted him so badly they constantly tried to stab Katniss in the back. She vowed, after him, to do her best to keep those feelings under control. Nothing good came from being that jealous.

"That's the only way we can ever really see each other, Katniss," he continued, his voice softer now. "You have to know that even when we can be together, it won't be a normal thing. We'll have to be more...creative...together."

She nods until she realizes that she's on the phone and he can't see her. "Right." She really doesn't understand what he's talking about or why he's talking about it now, right after he told her they can do what they want until at least August. But she's content to listen to his voice, with its barely noticeable slur, so she doesn't stop him. Just hearing him is enough to dissipate the anger she felt just a few seconds ago. If she were sober, she'd hate herself for losing her resolve so easily. But she wasn't sober. And she didn't care. "Creative how?"

She heard him chuckle through the phone. "We can get around to that later."

"No!" she exclaimed, then clapped her hand over get mouth. Madge and Gale were too busy with each other to hear her and Darius basically passed out as soon as he hit the couch, but that didn't mean she needed any of them to hear her. "No," she repeated just as adamantly as before, though in a hushed voice. "Not later. Tell me now."

"I think it'd be tough to describe."

"But I wanna know."

"How badly do you 'wanna know'?" he asked, mimicking her.

"I think you owe me."

"Is that so? Why do you say that?"

"I'm sorry, do I need to remind you of the sex-in-heels who was all over you?"

Peeta surprised her when he began laughing. Not just a short snicker, but a full on laugh to the point of pulling the phone away from his face, judging by the muffling that occurred.

"If you're just going to laugh at me, I'll hang up," she threatened. "I don't appreciate being the butt of some joke."

He was breathless when he finally returned to the phone. "Katniss, I wasn't making fun of you. Johanna and I are friends, like you and that bartender. She's just…protective, that's all."

"She seemed like a total bitch," Katniss huffed. "And now you definitely owe me."

"Oh, do I? And what would you like for your troubles, Miss Everdeen?"

"What are you willing to offer?" she countered.

"What are you doing?"

She didn't really know why he was suddenly asking the question that normally starts a conversation, but she figured he knew what he was doing. "Nothing. Just sitting in bed."

"Absolutely nothing? Well, that doesn't sound like much fun. Why don't you at least lay back, get comfortable."

Katniss rolled her eyes but laid back, resting her head on her pillow.

"Are you relaxed?"

She let out a breath. "Yes."

"Good. Describe your room to me."

"Why?" she asked, her forehead crinkled in confusion.

"I want to get a complete picture of you - where you are, what you're doing, what you're wearing."

Katniss laughed uncomfortably. "You want to know what I'm wearing? Why, are you going to tell me to take my clothes off or something?"

"That's exactly what I'm going to ask."

Her skin broke out in goosebumps and she took a shaky breath. "Peeta."

"Yes, Katniss?" His voice was husky when he said her name, sending a racing heat straight to her core. He must have heard the quiet whimper she released because he continued to say her name in the same deep tone. "Tell me about your room."

"Uh," she gulped, "There's not much to tell about it, I suppose. I don't really have much - a bed, a dresser, a desk, and my bookcase. That's really about it." She flushed in embarrassment at her very minimal possessions, especially since he lived in the swankiest part of town while she bought her dresser from a garage sale and had to repaint it herself.

"What's your favorite book?"

She was relieved that he didn't ask the question she normally got when people found out about her very bare bedroom. She wouldn't be able to scowl her way out of answering on the phone. "To Kill A Mockingbird," she answered easily. Her father read it to her when she was a child and always told her Atticus Finch was why he went to law school in the first place. Her hero's hero. "What about you?" She relaxed, realizing the real reason he was talking to her about her room and her favorite book was to get her to feel comfortable.

"I've always been partial to Catcher in the Rye, myself."

She wrinkled her nose. She remembered reading about Holden Caufield and hating everything about him. He was selfish and immature and every bit as ridiculous as he claimed everyone else would be. "That's unfortunate."

"One more thing about me you hate?" he joked. "First it was psychology, then the Cubs. And now my taste in literature? Tsk tsk, Katniss, why are you even still talking to me?"

"I'm sure there must be some reason, but I can't seem to figure it out. Maybe you should enlighten me."

"Katniss?"

"Yes, Peeta?"

"What are you wearing?"

She laughed. "Absolutely nothing."

"You're lying. What are you wearing?"

She bit her bottom lip. She could tell him the truth, that she was in her penguin shorts again and a white tank- top, neither of which were inherently sexy or provocative. Or she could lie again, telling him she only slept in her panties. Guys liked that visual, right? Surely the image that she was some sex kitten like that Johanna was what he wanted, even if he claimed they were just friends. No straight man would turn down someone like Johanna, and Peeta was most definitely straight.

"Katniss?"

"Um, sorry. W-what was the question?"

"Are you still nervous?"

"Yes. A little," she admitted.

"Because of me?"

"The situation. I've, um, I've never done anything like this before." She nervously chewed on her lip, realizing she was confessing some of her naivety to this man who had clearly done _this_ before, given how confident he sounded.

"Done what?"

"This," she repeated, gesturing wildly with her hands.

"You're going to need to be a little more specific," he instructed in his professor voice.

She couldn't figure out what game he was playing. Wasn't it obvious what 'this' meant? Or was she reading more into it than she should have? Maybe 'this' really wasn't anything and he was kidding earlier about telling her to take her pants off. She groaned. "Never mind."

"No, that won't work, Miss Everdeen," he chided. "You're going to need to learn to tell me what you like and don't like; what you want and don't want; what you know and don't know. That's the only way we learn what pleases each other."

She felt like she swallowed a boulder. Something about his words, the implication of what they could be - and likely would be - doing together elicited intense excitement and anxiety in her.

"What exactly haven't you done before?"

"I've never done this... over the phone," she mumbled.

"But you've done it in person? Dirty talk, I mean?"

"Once or twice. But not very well." At least, that's what she had been told the last time they tried, so she figured it must be true. It just didn't feel natural, saying the things she was expected to say. She never liked the sound of the word "pussy" and didn't find it particularly sexy, so she tended to laugh when she said it. Laughing, it seemed, killed the mood.

"We'll start with something easy. Tell me a fantasy of yours."

She gulped. "Uh... I don't know?"

He chuckled into the phone. "It's not a test, I'm just curious what you're into."

Katniss shrugged. She didn't know there were things to be "into" that were anything special. "You mean like positions?" She hated feeling so naive with him. She had had sex plenty of times, it wasn't like she was some blushing virgin.

"Positions, yeah, or maybe some pairing that gets you off? Policeman, doctor... teacher?"

The way he emphasized the last option made her clench her legs together. She sure as hell wasn't going to tell him that ever since class ended she had used the image of him bending her over his office desk to help get herself off more frequently than anything else.

"Katniss? You still there."

Her throat felt like sandpaper. "Um, yeah. I don't know Peeta, what are you into?"

"That's a loaded question, Katniss," he answered, mysteriously. "But I'll give you a recent one. Remember when you stayed at my place and I was making breakfast? All I could think of, the whole time, was how sexy you were. The night before, when you made yourself come it was the hottest thing I had ever seen. And all I wanted was to be the one making you to make those noises."

Her breathing shallowed. His admission hadn't been at all surprising, the sexual tension between them was thick and suffocating, even over the phone. But hearing him say it was different than just assuming it.

"So I had this image that it was you cooking breakfast, in those little shorts of yours. The ones that make your legs look ten miles long and your ass look perfectly round."

She let out a snort. "My pajama shorts make my ass look good?" She played with fabric around her legs in disbelief. "They're just pajama shorts."

"That's because you can't see them from my angle," he countered and she felt herself blush at his words. "Those shorts are sexy, Katniss Everdeen. If I had it my way, you'd only wear those. Or nothing, I suppose. Nothing is better. In fact, I've just changed my fantasy. Instead of those shorts, you're cooking in just your panties."

"That doesn't seem very hygienic. Or safe," she nervously joked, although the idea of walking around Peeta's apartment in just her underclothes made her rub her legs together in anticipation.

"It's a fantasy, darling, we don't worry about practical things. Instead, you should be worried about not letting your food burn."

"And why would my food burn?"

"Because you'd be distracted, obviously. Distracted by my lips against the back of your neck. By my hands running up your sides, over your stomach, under your tank top, along your ribs, brushing the bottom of your bare breasts."

Katniss whimpered, her hands following along with his under her shirt. "Please."

"Please what, Katniss?"

"Touch me."

"Patience, Katniss, patience. It's better if you don't rush it. You want my hands on your breasts, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Do it to yourself. I want to hear how it sounds when you play with your breasts."

She did as he instructed, rolling her nipple between her fingers and groaned in approval. She wondered if he was just as turned on by this, by imagining being with her. She imagined him stroking himself as he talked to her and it made her urgently aware of the growing heat between her legs. She shifted her hips to slide her shorts down over her ass and brushed over her clit as she brought her hand back up. She was met by a low hum from the other side of the phone which only confirmed her suspicion and further spurred her on.

"Unf," she sighed into the phone.

"I bet you're so wet, aren't you, Katniss? Soaking through your panties just imagining my mouth on your skin. Tell me how wet you are."

She dipped her finger into her panties and gasped when she felt just how turned on he was making her. "Dripping," she answered in a ragged voice.

He moaned loudly into the phone. "Goddamnit, Katniss. I want to pull those panties of yours down and bend you over the counter."

She bit down hard on her lip as her fingers picked up speed, venturing further down to her wet core. The way he described how he'd tease her with his cock, the head just barely grazing inside her, making her beg and pant and thrust back toward him. The image of him with his pants just around his ankles as he plunged deep into her, that he couldn't restrain himself long enough to actually be completely naked before he had his way with her.

His eloquence with words was not lost on her imagination, nor was the memory of what exactly he was fucking her with in his memory. Being bent over, completely at his mercy while he continually pounded into her, each thrust touching upon the one place that was always just out of reach. She contemplated reaching for her vibrator but the reality of moving, of stopping, just wasn't an option for her.

He continued on, describing each move, each detail, each sense, chanting her name as they both tumbled closer and closer to the edge. She heard him finish first, her name hanging on his lips. He didn't stop talking to her, his voice was deep and velvety on the phone, pushing her on and over until her body spasmed and she cried into the receiver.

"Now you can say you've done that before," he joked, his voice still breathless.

As her own heartbeat slowed, she smiled. "Even if I had, I don't think it would have been like that."

"Was it good for you?"

Katniss let out a full-on laugh which triggered his own laughter to join in. She realized she couldn't remember the last time she _laughed_ after sex, or, well kind-of sex. Maybe she hadn't. Never with Cato. He was all about the deed; even when they were both drunk and giggly beforehand, post-coitus was never a laughing matter. Usually it was because he would fall asleep soon after or because they had somewhere to be. Sex with Cato was fun but never really comfortable. And before Cato - no. No, sex before Cato was never funny. Hell, for a while it wasn't even fun. Most of the time it wasn't fun, if she was being honest with herself about it.

"Katniss? You okay? You got quiet all of a sudden." Peeta's voice finally broke her out of her trance, and she welcomed it. Thinking about the past did nothing but cause her misery, which was why she blocked it off to so many people. If no one knew, no one could ask her about it. She had had enough people asking about it when it happened, so she was content to never have another person _ask_ her about it again.

She shook her head, wishing her memory worked like the old Etch-A-Sketch she loved as a child and would just disappear that easily. "Yeah, I'm doing fine. Sorry just, uh, got in my head or something."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No thanks, Psych Boy," she joked, knowing full well it would change the subject.

"Now, now, Miss Everdeen. No need for name calling. Use your _feeling_ words, remember? How does this make you _feel_?"

"I _feel_ like smacking that shit eating grin I can only imagine you're wearing right off your face," she shot back with a satiated smile. She listened to him breathe easier in the phone, finding serenity in this innocent moment. She didn't understand how easily she could be excited and calmed by the same person, how those conflicting emotions could emanate so effortlessly from one body.

"Hey, we're...we're okay, right?" he finally asked, hesitation clear in his tone. "I mean, God, I know this was wrong. I knew that when I called you, but..."

"Why did you call then?"

Peeta sighed. "I just...you were saying things about me and Johanna and they weren't true and I felt like you needed to know that they weren't true. And you didn't seem to believe my texts about it."

She bit her lip, debating if she wanted to ask what she wanted to ask. Or more, if she wanted to know the answer to what she wanted to ask. "Did it really matter what I thought about you and Johanna?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"Why?" The question was almost silent, a whispered breath from her lungs.

* * *

"Well, look at you, all fancy schmancy for work today," Rue teased as Katniss plopped down beside her in the grass. She had moved back down to the basement so she hadn't seen much of Rue or Thresh, except on their breaks.

Katniss wrinkled her nose. "What are you talking about? This is what I always wear."

Thresh let out a deep snort. "It's what you've been wearing lately, Katniss, but it's still fancy. For you."

She glared at him. What did that mean, 'for her'? And what was so fancy about shorts and her polo? Granted, her shorts looked like they came from Madge's closet, but that was only because the two girls went shopping recently and Katniss trusted her roommate's judgment about clothes. Otherwise what was so fancy about her?

"It's not a bad thing, Katniss. I think you look nice," Rue offered, "I never realized how thick your hair is." She ran her hands over Katniss' loose tresses with a sigh. "It's gorgeous."

Katniss weakly smiled. She didn't often wear her hair down, especially in the summer when it was hot and her hair clung to her neck. But she had been lately, thanks to a text she got from Peeta a few days ago that complimented her on it. She pushed a strand behind her ear and chuckled. "Thanks. Just trying something new, you know?"

Thresh gave her an approving look. "Long hair is sexy."

"Jesus, Thresh!" Rue cried. "Must you turn everything sexual?" She rolled her eyes at him, which only made him laugh.

"What? All I'm saying is that guys are more attracted to women with long hair. It makes them appear more feminine and, by default, more attractive." He shrugged and took another drag of his cigarette. "It's evolution. Feminine features are signs of stronger genetic codes and therefore, more successful offspring."

"Where'd you pick that shit up from?" Rue asked. "Because it sounds like bullshit societal rules to perpetuate the stereotypes of women."

"I took that socio- politico- psycho- biology seminar last year. Men are hardwired to be more attracted to feminine features and women are hardwired to be more attracted to masculine features." He winked at the girls. "It's all about sex."

Rue wasn't convinced and Katniss played along, though she was curious how relevant what Thresh said was to reality. She had to admit that Peeta's broad chest and defined jawline were overtly masculine. And she was, obviously, very attracted to him. But what about her was feminine enough to attract such a desirable male? She had no real curves, her eyes were small, her cheeks plain. She didn't even smile all that often, so her sunny disposition was definitely out.

"Muscles are masculine, right?" Rue piped up. When Thresh confirmed they were, she let out a soft whistle. "Well then I'll give your theory this, /that/ is still one masculine man I wouldn't mind creating some offspring with."

"The professor? C'mon, Rue," Thresh teased.

Katniss was glad neither of them were paying particularly close attention to her or they'd have seen the way her neck and face broke out in a deep blush just at the sight of Peeta. She chewed on the inside of her lip as she took in every plane of his body, every fine golden hair that led down to his shorts. They may have noticed that her eyes never left him. Or that he chose that moment to glance over at her. She licked her lips. He cocked an eyebrow. It was so much a part of their daily routine, the dance they had been doing for the past couple weeks. Step forward, step back, never too close to one another but unable to completely let go. Even with both of them knowing they should.

_'Nothing good can come from this,' he had told her. 'I'll end up hurting you.'_

'How do you know I won't hurt you first?' she had countered. 'Why do you want this? If we both know we'll get hurt?'

'I can't stay away from you. I can't get you out of my head.'

'Mutual pain, then?'

'Hearts don't break even, Katniss.'

Still, she wore her hair down more often. He would pause his run to stretch in her vicinity. He never called her. She never texted him. It was teasing and cruel, but it was how it had to be done.

* * *

Katniss needed out of her apartment. The summer temperature hit an all-time high and the building's air conditioning system completely shut down that morning. Ironic, given that she just sent her check in for utilities that very morning. Madge was out for some weekend "field trip" or something with her business seminar classmates to celebrate finishing the semester, so there wasn't anyone to complain about the heat to. After what felt like the millionth trip to the freezer to switch out her ice packs, she gave up. She needed to be someplace with some air conditioning, even if only for a few hours.

The bar was surprisingly slow when she got there. She waved to Gale, who immediately poured her a glass of Bud Light. "Did you scare everyone off, Hawthorne?" she asked, taking a sip.

"I don't know, man. Just been one of those days. Maybe people are too afraid to go out into the heat and content to stay home?" he answered, wiping his brow. Even though the bar's cooling system was in perfectly fine working order, they weren't immune to the sweltering heat outside. Plus, the bar was right in the doorway, so anytime it opened, they were hit with a wave of fire.

"I'm going to go sit in a dark corner and cool off. Our shitty AC broke," Katniss groaned, sliding her beer off the counter and sauntered to the back. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, a message from Madge with an update about the trip. Turns out the guy from her seminar she went on the semi-date with earlier in the summer was trying to make her jealous by hitting on every other girl in the place. It was backfiring on him, according to Madge, because they all rejected him and Madge wasn't at all interested in him anymore.

Katniss snorted and typed out a message letting her roommate know she went to the bar for a few hours to enjoy modern luxuries.

Madge. 10:14pm. /Piece of shit landlord. How does an entire building's system go out on the hottest day? And he hasn't done shit about it./

Madge. 10:16pm. /Fuck. The winner is on his way over. This should be fun. Will update later. Enjoy yourself./

Katniss stared at her phone, her fingers hovering over the keypad for a few minutes before she slipped her phone back into her pocket, proud of her self-control for the moment. The bar slowly began to fill up, still not a normal Friday crowd, but more impressive than when she arrived.

"Mind if I join you?"

Katniss looked up right into the piercing blue eyes of Peeta Mellark. She nodded her head to the open chair across the table from her. They sat in relative silence, exchanging eyes and smiles over their drinks as the bar slowly came to life. They probably should have talked; it was the normal thing for two people sitting together to do, but she was convinced that talking would ruin the atmosphere between them. Every so often, he'd get up from the table to bring her a new drink and she'd give him a very quiet "thank you" and get a very quiet "of course" in return.

Sometimes she would sing along with the karaoke singers, and he was enthralled by her voice. Then, when she caught him watching her, she'd blush and immediately stop, taking long drinks of her beer to hide her embarrassment. She knew she was a good singer but didn't like the attention it drew.

She was caught off guard when he cleared his throat and leaned across the table toward her. "Do you know what today is, Miss Everdeen?"

She had just paid the electric bill today, which she did on the same day every month. August 5th.

"Actually," Peeta answered, setting his glass on the table and rising from his chair. "It's midnight on August 6th. Do you what is official on August 6th?" He was in front of her now, legs on either side of hers, her back pressed firmly against the wall behind her.

Her heart raced at his close proximity. She could make out a hint of vanilla and dill that she recognized from his office. And his apartment. Her pupils dilated and her neck began to flush. She licked her lips as she stared at his, at the drop of whiskey that hung on them. "Grades," she whispered, as her brain finally clicked.

"A-plus, Miss Everdeen." He turned around and slowly walked toward the door. A few steps away, he turned his head over his shoulder. "Coming?"

Katniss let out the breath she had been holding and steadied her hands around her beer. She knew if she went with him, what would happen, what that could lead to. For both of them.

All she had to do was remind herself that it was just physical, that the emotional side needed to stay blocked off. _Fuck it._ She downed the remainder of her drink, slapped a few dollars tip on the table and caught up with him at the entrance.

* * *

**AN: Ahhh I'm sorry, for the delay, you guys! There's been a lot going on since the last chapter (fic-wise and in RL) that have delayed this chapter's progression. Hopefully it was worth it.**

**As always, thanks to Chelzie for looking this over. And thanks to everyone who kept me motivated and focused. Thank you to all the reviews, alerts, favorites, readers, everyone! I promise I'll get on top of replying to reviews from the last chapter and this chapter ASAP.**

******Feel free to come visit me on tumblr: mitchesbcray.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:**

Trigger warnings in this chapter. Emotional abuse, alcohol/drug use, self-injury. If any of these things may trigger, please let me know (send me a message) and I'll try to edit it out without taking too much of the story.

Sorry for the delay, hopefully the length/content makes up for it! Thanks to my beta, Chelzie for her amazingly quick turnaround and to everyone else who helped me get through this chapter! Thanks to all the readers and reviewers you all are fantastic people!

* * *

Katniss was surprised to find Peeta fidgeting with his keys when she pushed into the hot, stifling air outside. He caught her eye and gave her a shy smile as she made her way to his truck. "I wasn't sure if you were going to come or not."

She rolled her eyes. "Right. Come on, then."

They both slid into his truck and were comfortably silent for the majority of the ride home. At some point, he dropped his right hand from the steering wheel to where hers rested on her leg, giving her fingers a light squeeze, almost as if he were some nervous teenager taking a girl out for the first time. She laughed away this thought; she knew he could be vulnerable, she had seen it before, but she refused to believe that he was somehow this uneasy because of her.

"Something amusing you'd like to share with the class, Miss Everdeen?" Peeta joked, cocking an eyebrow at her. He went to move his hand away, but she made sure her fingers twitched just enough to hook the tips of her first few fingers around his.

"Nope," she popped the "p" at the end of her word, her face erupting into a smile and a playful blush sweeping across her cheeks. They stayed that way until they arrived at Victor's Village and he reluctantly released their light hold in order to guide them into the building and apartment.

Inside, once again, Peeta seemed to transform into a totally different person. He locked the door behind her and pulled her into his chest. "Do you know how long I've wanted this?" he asked in a hushed whisper, his lips ghosting over her skin. "How long I've wanted you?"

Katniss wanted to know when he stopped seeing her as his pupil and thought of her as more. That night in the storm, perhaps, when they nearly kissed? Or in the classroom at the end of term? Surely it was then, when they were seemingly free from the confines of their titles. She wanted to ask but when she opened her mouth, soft gasps were released as opposed to words. His hands were holding her tightly, his lips pressing urgent kisses across her jaw, down her neck, anywhere they could reach.

He walked her backward, pulling her hair tie out and letting her hair to fall in soft waves down her back. "So beautiful," he murmured against her skin. She trusted him, walking backwards through his darkened apartment, as he hadn't bothered turning the light on once inside. His lips teased hers, brushing across her skin everywhere but where she wanted him most, her own. His hands trailed through her hair, down her back, cupping her backside. She let out a surprised yelp when he lifted her up, and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist.

"You going to carry me?" she joked.

"You have a problem with that?" he answered playfully, dropping his hands slightly.

She yelped again and tightened her hold around his neck, pressing her entire body against his. She looked up, his blue eyes gleaming visibly in the dark. She craned her neck up and kissed him. Her lips were soft and warm against his, and she felt her arms pull him impossibly closer, mouths opened slightly, his tongue entering hers as he resumed their path toward his bedroom. He laid her down gently on his bed and she unhooked her legs. They smiled together, kissing more urgently. Peeta pulled her shirt over her head, reveling in her uncovered breasts. She had nearly forgotten that she decided to forgo her bra that night, figuring there was no place in town cold enough to make the extra clothing worthwhile. Now that he was running his hands over her exposed skin, she realized it was a blessing. While she may have been self-conscious the first time he saw her, now, with the slight sliver of moon cutting into his bedroom, she could see the desire radiating through him. The same desire she felt in herself.

He brushed the hair from her face, tracing over her cheekbones and down her jaw. He followed his fingers with kisses, tracing a line down her throat, between her breasts and down to her stomach. He cupped her breasts, squeezing them delicately. He pulled her shorts off in the process; Katniss' chest started to rise as her breath quickened. Her chest rose to meet his touch with every pass of his fingers.

He dragged his palm down along her stomach, to the edge of her panties. With the pads of his fingers, he stroked her thighs to part her knees. He could feel the heat radiating from her and his cock twitched in anticipation. He swept his index and middle finger over her covered lips, her clit passing between his knuckles.

She let out a shaky gasp and attempted to cover it with a half-smile. "You've done this before."

"Once or twice," he winked, hooking her panties with his fingers and pulled them down. Katniss reached up and pulled his lips to hers, opening her mouth so her tongue could find his. His fingers slipped down to stroke and touch and explore her pussy. She inhaled sharply as his fingers brushed against her exposed clit and he licked his lips at the sight.

He moved down, planting kisses down her legs, to her ankles, to the soles of her feet. She giggled at the light pressure but when she tried to pull her legs away, his hold on her ankles tightened. He smirked and moved them to his shoulders, completely opening her up to his gaze. He kissed and tongued her his way back up her legs, alternating between her left and right thighs. He glanced up at her, eyes closed, head slowly rolling back.

His head slid along the back of her thighs and he lowered himself to her center. His tongue flicked out and took its first lick of her. They both let out simultaneous groans and Peeta couldn't contain himself. Like a moth to a flame, the more of her he tasted, the more he needed her. Her fingers raked across his scalp, fisting his curls and pulling him closer to her.

He lifted her slightly, allowing his index finger access inside her as he continued licking her. Her back arched off the bed and she continued to thrust toward him, bumping her clit against his lips. Peeta added another finger and, without retracting them fully, began pumping them into her. His lips latched onto her sensitive bud, alternating between sucks and light nips.

He kept his eyes on her, watching her stomach muscles quiver with each breath she took. Her eyes were still closed, her mouth opened though occasionally she'd bring her bottom lip under her teeth. He gasped with each flick of his tongue, her soft moans increasing in pitch.

The heat within her was rising, spreading throughout her; her stomach twisted and turned tighter with each thrust and lick. She felt herself break loose but her voice ceased as her muscles clamped around his fingers, pulling him in with each subsequent contraction. Her hips continued their movements as she rode out her orgasm. A flushness spread across her bare chest, up her neck, across her cheeks.

He slid up her body, kissing her deeply so she could taste herself on his tongue. She fisted the fabric of his shirt and urged it off of him, needing to feel his skin against hers, to know if his heart was racing like hers was. The rough denim of his jeans against her still sensitive clit was next to go, and they wasted no time in removing them and his boxer-briefs completely, leaving him as bare to the night as she was. Katniss slithered her hand from his shoulders down his chest, over his tattoo, down his taut stomach to the fine trail of hair leading to his already hard cock. She wrapped her hand around it, really feeling him for the first time. He watched her with awe and desire as she slowly pumped him from base to tip.

"Katniss," he breathed, letting his face fall into her hair. "I want you."

He felt her nod her head and heard her nearly silent affirmation before reaching behind him for a foil wrapped condom from the desk drawer near his bed. He kissed her again, positioning himself at her center, using all of his control not to push into her immediately. Katniss broke the kiss and gazed into his eyes. "Peeta," she nervously tapped her fingers on his shoulders. "When this happens, in-in the morning...will you still... want me, I mean?"

He couldn't help but wonder if she knew how small she sounded, how young and childlike. Surely she was only joking, she had to think more of him than to just use her for this night and throw her away. Did she see him as a one-night stand kind of person? But one look into her face, so truthfully vulnerable, and he knew. "Of course I will want you, Katniss. I would want you even if this wasn't going to happen. I've wanted you since we first met, I'll want you, still, tomorrow and the day after." He kissed her, gently and sweetly. "I promise you. But if you don't want-"

"No," she interrupted. "I want you. I just...needed to make sure."

"As long as you don't proclaim your undying love for me afterwards," he joked.

She laughed. "Why? You have a magic dick, Mellark?"

"That's Dr. Mellark, Miss Everdeen," he clicked his tongue at her. "Manners, young lady."**  
**

"Well, Dr. Mellark?"

"Yes, Miss Everdeen?"

"If I promise not to tell you I love you, will you just fuck me already?"

He laughed loudly, his entire body shaking over hers. "Oh, Katniss Everdeen. How could I ever not want you?" He brought his hand down to her center, brushing his fingers over her. "Are you ready?"

She reached down as well, guiding his erect cock to where his fingers once were. "Yes. For you." She kissed him as he pushed into her, stifling the moan that ripped from her throat. He filled her, almost to the point of uncomfortable, but she bit her lower lip and tried to relax. She knew from experience that relaxing would allow her body to respond to him the way it should, that overthinking would cause pain and discomfort.

She half expected him to be rough, to take her completely in one fell swoop. Instead, he pressed into her slowly, completely sheathing himself before slightly pulling out, repeating the motion over and over. It was different, that much she knew, but not unwelcomed. He controlled himself, a difficult feat at this point, using her facial expressions and vocal patterns to his advantage. But she needed more. She wanted more. And in that one word she was able to croak out, that "more", he changed his tactic. His movements became faster; shallower thrusts that seemed to hit deeper inside her. He brought her legs around his waist again and her hands above her head. She cried out as he plunged into her over and over. His other thumb worked on her clit, rubbing that small bud in time with his thrusting, making her come with him inside of her.

Time had no meaning for her at this point. How long he had been inside her didn't matter, only that he was. And that he felt right. They felt right. When his movements shifted and his breathing began to catch in his throat, she internally groaned, dreading the emptiness that she was about to feel.

"Fuck, Katniss," he groaned, pulling out of her in time to fill the condom. She was still coming down from one of the orgasms he brought on, but focused enough on him to know he was beautiful. The light layer of sweat that covered his skin and matted his hair. The clenched eyes and stifled moan as he came, it was all she could see.

He discarded the condom and laid beside her, kissing her passionately. Their tongues fought against each other as their bodies shuddered together in post-orgasm. Katniss could feel his heartbeat in his chest, and could hear that it matched the thumping in her own ears. "Wow," he whispered against her skin. "That was, um, wow."

She chuckled, brushing his hair from his face. "Hey, Peeta," she said, the smile dropping from her lips. "I, uh, I love you."

His eyes widened for half a second before he caught himself. "Um...what?"

She smirked. "I'm kidding. Turns out your dick isn't so magical, huh?"

"Oh, you're going to pay for that, Miss Everdeen," he joked, pulling her tightly against him. "I'm not too old for the likes of you," he whispered into her ear, trailing his hand down her front. "I'll get you nice and ready before I properly punish you."

* * *

That's three times now Peeta's phone had rung while his head was buried between her legs. And damn, while it is downright sinful what that boy can do with his tongue, the techno tune is enough to distract her completely. She groaned and threw her head back against his pillow. "Peeta."

His shoulders slumped. That's not the way he wanted her saying his name. He pulled away and she crinkled her nose. "I should probably answer that," he said ruefully.

She laughed and let her legs fall closed as he extracted himself and reached over for his phone. He stared at the screen before hesitantly hitting the answer key.

"Dell? Are you…slow, slow down, Sweetpea, I can't understand what you're-" Peeta rubbed the bridge of his nose and glanced over to Katniss. 'I'm sorry,' he mouthed and nodded to the kitchen. "I'll be right back."

He slid out of bed and padded into the kitchen, closing his bedroom door behind him. She brought his sheet up to cover her naked chest and chewed her bottom lip. She could still hear bits of what he was saying, feeling guilty about eavesdropping, but she couldn't help it. Even after spending all weekend together, they hadn't exactly spent much of that time talking. Not productive "get to know each other" talking, that is; they had been too preoccupied taking advantage of their new-found physical freedom.

Still, it wasn't her fault he was talking loud enough for her to hear, right?

"Sweetpea, is everything okay? Are you hurt? Is your momma hurt?... Does she know you called?" A heavy sigh and the scraping of his kitchen chair against the floor. "You know you're not supposed to call without her permission, Sweetpea... shh don't cry, honey. What, what's wrong?" There was a long pause before he spoke again. This time, Katniss could hear the smile in his voice. "It's okay to be scared, Pre-K is a big step... yep, bigger than daycare. But you know what else?" he chuckled. "Pre-K is waaaaay more fun than daycare... What do you mean, 'how do I know?' Don't you trust me, Peanut?" Another laugh. "How about this? If after a week... Yes, a whole week. If after a week if you still don't like it, I'll tell your mom to let you come to school with me. But I gotta warn you, my school is pretty boring... Nope, no finger painting or music or... Snack time? You get snack time? Aw man, can I go to Pre-K? Yeah, I'll go to Pre-K and you go to my school. That's fair, right? No? Are you sure?"

There's a silence again, the joyful laughter abruptly cut off, his voice dropping to ice-cold levels. "She called me, Dell, what was I supposed to do? You want me to hang up on her? I know. I know, okay? It was my idea but I'm not going to just completely drop her when she reaches - she was nervous for her first day of school, I was just- fine. Fine. Tell her good -"

Then he stopped. She could hear him setting his phone down on the kitchen table and letting out a long sigh. She wanted to go to him, to wrap him up in her arms and bring him back to their safe cocoon, where they had drowned out the world and just were. All weekend. But if she went out now, he would realize she listened to his side of the phone call.

She waited a few minutes and when he didn't reappear, she wrapped the sheet around her and wandered out. He was sitting at the table, shoulders slumped, head in his hand, fingers pulling at his hair. He looked so broken down, so lifeless, it made her heart ache. "Peeta?" she called, softly. When he didn't respond, she stepped closer. "Peeta?"

He finally lifted his head and turned to her. His eyes were rimmed red and his pain shone through clearly. Katniss had noticed how expressive his eyes were, true windows into his emotions. She used to be that person; she could remember a time when her emotions couldn't be used against her and she could, and did, wear her heart on her sleeve.

She envied him at that moment. Whatever he had been through, whatever convinced him that he would hurt her, at least he was still himself, not some muted, guarded mutt like she was. Self-preservation came late in her life and it came at a heavy price.

He reached out for her hand and pulled her onto his lap. "Hey."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "Want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, intertwining their fingers. Peeta brought their conjoined hands up and gently kissed her fingers, then her inner wrist, smiling when the skin broke out in goose bumps. "I'd much rather do something else," he answered quietly.

In one move, he shifted her off his lap and onto the table.

* * *

"I, uh, I should probably get you home at some point, huh?" Peeta asked, bringing their hands to his lips. "Your roommate will be worried about what's happened to you."

Katniss shrugged. Madge was due home from her trip sometime today, but she doubted her roommate would even notice her absence right away. Most likely, Madge would drop her bags on the floor right by the door, crawl into her bed with her shoes still on, and sleep until mid-Wednesday. "I'm in no rush." She glanced over at their fingers, interlocked with one another, and gave his hand a light squeeze. "Unless this is your subtle way of telling me to get lost."

She was only joking with him but her smile quickly dropped at his somber expression. "Don't you ever think that, Katniss Everdeen. No one could want you more than me."

Her body immediately reacted; her eyes shifted away from him, her hand pulled away, the brick in her throat made it impossible to breathe, though the urge to vomit was occurring simultaneously. _'No one wants you more than me.'_ She saw the concern etched across his face and excused her behavior away with the claim that she just needed the bathroom, but would be right back.

Locking the door behind her, Katniss gripped the edges of the cool porcelain sink and attempted to catch her breath and slow her heart rate. It was only an anxiety attack - the breathing, the feeling of suffocation, the shaking limbs and fingers. It would pass, she reminded herself. She thought back through her therapies, the skills that worked in the past. Breathing. _Inhale through the nose. Exhale through the mouth. Repeat. Repeat. Keep breathing. Inhale. Exhale._

_"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Katniss. But you can't shoulder all of this all of the time. It's okay to give up control. All of these things that have happened to you, they didn't happen because of you._

_"What about Prim? If I hadn't been with-"_

_"What happened to Prim was an accident, Katniss, a terrible accident. There is no way you could have known what was going to happen. It wasn't your fault."_

_"No. It was. I shouldn't have listened to him. I shouldn't have stayed with him."_

"_Katniss, you stayed because he manipulated you, he twisted your sense of reality."_

"_I stayed because I was weak! I was weak and sad and so afraid of being alone that I allowed him to..."_

She felt the cool drips of her tears splash against her hand. She glanced up at herself in the mirror, her hair partially covering her face, sweat forming along her brow and cheekbones, her bottom lip bleeding slightly from biting down on it as hard as she had been - the nervous habit becoming extreme when she was anxious. She licked the blood off, cringing at the slight hint of metallic on her tongue. Her breathing continued to come out in short, loud puffs, but at least she could breathe again.

Her head was still spinning; the breaths she was able to take weren't nearly deep enough but it didn't matter. _'Focus on your breathing, Katniss. Just keep focusing on your breathing.'_ At least she wasn't crying or choking. Maybe it wouldn't be quite that terrible this time around. After all, she was able to actually make it to the bathroom before her total meltdown. Her therapist would call that a positive step, even if it was utterly pathetic. _'No, Katniss,'_ she could hear his gentle voice in her head, _'Not pathetic.'_

Cinna was always talking to her like that, like what she was feeling or experiencing wasn't abnormal or weird. Like it was perfectly natural to hear her ex-boyfriend's voice in her head whenever someone said anything negative about her. Like having flashbacks to the worst week of her life, to the point of completely shutting down, was something that happened to everyone. Cinna would tell her that it was part of the healing process, that she needed time to relearn what was true and what wasn't, that two years of hearing manipulative lies at such a young age would have a greater impact on her than anyone could have realized at the time. She wasn't going to be better overnight, it was going to take time, andshe would have to be patient.

But what the hell did Cinna know about her life, other than what she had told him? He confessed to her that he didn't have anything to compare to what she had been through, that he had no idea how she had made it through as well as she did. That she was already better off because she was able to survive and didn't fall back into Alan Gloss' scheme. Somehow it was that, that simple sentence Cinna had mentioned off hand that pushed her. She didn't fall back into his scheme. And she wouldn't. She couldn't do that to Prim, not again. She hadn't listened to her little sister's warnings or pleas about him when they first started dating and she paid for it dearly.

She exhaled until her stomach hurt and splashed some water on her face. Cinna's last advice to her was to, "Fake it till you make it." She could do that, school her features so no one could tell she was upset. She slipped with Peeta, allowed her face to show her pain, but she wouldn't do it again. She would be the strong one, the girl Prim always saw her as even when she couldn't see it herself. She would do this for Prim.

"I was getting worried about you," Peeta smiled as Katniss re-entered his room. "Thought you might have fallen in or something. I was prepared to go all superhero to rescue you."

"Rescue me from the bathroom? You really do have a serial killer apartment," she answered, crawling back into his arms and resting her head on his chest. "Is that a tweed jacket I spied hanging in your closet?" she laughed. He ran his fingers through her hair and she listened to the steady beat of his heart. Despite his warnings that he would eventually hurt her, Katniss knew it couldn't be worse than anything she hadn't already been through. He couldn't say anything more hurtful, couldn't tear her family apart, couldn't do anything except further break her already fragmented heart. But even that was only possible if she was willing to give him that. And despite the primal urge she felt toward him, the undeniable heat and electricity that flowed between them whenever they were together, it wasn't love. It could never be love, so he could never hurt her.

Peeta knew she wasn't okay. He knew as soon as she leaped out of bed. He could hear the gasps of breaths and the painful, chest-tightening sobs that racked her body. She wasn't fooling him, he knew that kind of pain. Those demons that seem to come out of nowhere. The ones elicited by a fleeting thought, a laughter that's too similar, a few innocent words taken out of context, hearing the voices of those who hurt you the most. Of those you hurt. No, Peeta Mellark knew pain. He knew she was in it, and he knew he couldn't do anything to help her when he was in too much himself. So when he took her home, he gave her a gentle kiss on the lips to show her he understood and still cared but couldn't do this right now.

He made the mistake of stopping by the liquor store on the way home. He wasn't out at home, but the six-pack of 312 wasn't what he wanted. Beer wouldn't help him forget, not like whiskey would. And he needed to forget what had happened, needed to wipe his memory clear of the phone call that set him back again, that proved he had no idea what he was doing or how he was supposed to move on with his life. He needed to rid himself of his own demons, the only way he knew how. The same way they condition sex offenders or pedophiles out of their urges. Show them something they enjoy and give them something they don't. In theory, the enjoyable thing would become associated with the aversive behavior and they would no longer want the previously enjoyable thing. Operant conditioning at its finest.

He hadn't watched the DVD that he made about Maddie yet. It was made as a special present for Delly on Maddie's birthday. When things started to disintegrate between them, he thought he could use it as a reminder to her about what they could have had. What they did have. He hated himself for trying to use that perfect little girl as a way to fix his relationship, but he was a desperate man who was willing to do almost anything to keep his family together. It wasn't enough, and a part of him knew it never would be enough, and when he finally moved out, Delly made sure the DVD was on top of one of the boxes he hauled away.

"_Delly's probably going to kill me for this."_

Peeta heard his own voice over the black screen and broke the seal off the bottle of alcohol sitting next to him. He had forgone the tumbler with ice, knowing he'd need the full strength of it to get through this.

"_But I'm going to do it anyway. She'll forgive me eventually." Slowly, the screen was filled with the sights and sounds of the hospital hallway he was navigating through. He pushed open a set of doors into Delly's room._

"_Oh my God, Peeta! Get that camera out of here!" she groaned. "I look like a sweaty cow!"_

_Peeta leaned down to kiss her dampened curls. "You look beautiful."_

"_You are so going to pay for this, Peet." She hadn't even bothered trying to hide the exhausted smile. "You're so good to me. To us." The camera panned down to the newborn in Delly's arms. Swaddled tightly in a pink hospital blanket, a matching pink cap over her already unruly blonde curls, a pair of bright blue eyes peered up into the camera._

"_Anything for my girls," he answered softly. "She's gorgeous, Del. Just like you."_

"_She's got his nose."_

_Peeta reached down to gently stroke the infant's blush-red cheeks. She smiled and cooed at his contact._

"_Look at you, charming her already. Like mother, like daughter, huh?"_

Peeta took a long drink, straight from the bottle, wincing slightly at the alcoholic burn in his mouth. That moment, looking down at that innocent little girl, he was lost forever. Even then, he knew he would have done anything to keep her safe. Love at first sight was created just for that brief moment in time.

"_What did we decide for a name?" The nurse who had stayed by Delly's side during childbirth asked, after doing a quick physical checkup of the two._

_Delly beamed. "Madaline." It was her grandmother's name, and as soon as she found out she'd be having a little girl, she decided she would carry on the name. When she initially told Peeta her fear that it was too old of a name for a young girl, he suggested that they just give her a nickname, Maddie, until she was older._

"_Very pretty name. So, Madaline...Cartwright?" The nurse asked with a nervous glance between Peeta and Delly. "Or did you want her to have her father's name?"_

"_Cartwright," Peeta answered, giving Delly's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "We can always change it when it's official."_

To this day, Peeta recognized that Delly's subsequent tears were mainly due to the hormonal free-for-all that came after giving birth, but he liked to believe that his gesture had something to do with it. "Madaline" was easy, but deciding how to handle her last name had taken a stressful toll on the very pregnant Delly up to the end.

He took another swallow as a soft lullaby began to play, accompanied by a series of pictures of the trio, mostly of those first few nights with Maddie. A drink for each picture.

_Peeta holding Maddie in the hospital while Delly slept._

_Delly trying to feed Maddie for the first time, an aggravated face because that girl was obstinate._

_Peeta and Delly curled up in the hospital bed together, Maddie in her bassinet beside them._

_Packing up the car for the way home._

Peeta and Maddie had bonded instantly. To anyone watching them, he was the best 'Daddy' any little girl could have hoped for. Delly would joke that she could just pack up and leave and neither one would notice.

Another drink.

_Maddie's squeals of excitement could be heard from the next room over. "Peet's trying to give Maddie a bath," Delly's voice explained. She panned into the kitchen where her daughter was laughing and splashing in the sink, effectively soaking Peeta in the process. Delly let out a little snort at Peeta trying to calm the excitable girl down._

_He glanced over his shoulder. "You think this is funny, do you?"_

"_I do, actually. Almost as funny as you thought it was when she threw up all over me."_

"_Do you hear that, Sweetpea?" Peeta turned back to where Maddie was watching them __with__ rapt attention. "Your mommy thinks it's funny that I'm all soaking wet. Is that funny?"_

_Maddie laughed as Peeta tickled her and kicked her feet, causing another splash of water to hit Peeta in the face. Delly snorted again. "See? Even she agrees."_

"_We can show her how funny this is, can't we?" He said to the baby, picking her up and holding her against his body, completely forgoing the towel on the counter that was borderline useless at this point. He grabbed the spray hose and a stream of water came flying at the screen. _

_Luckily, Delly had jumped out of the way to protect the camera but from her shriek, it was clear she had been hit, much to Maddie's delight._

Another drink. He could hardly taste the alcohol at this point, which was just as well; it was easier to keep drinking without the distraction. He knew full well that this was only going to get worse for him as more pictures filled the screen.

_Maddie napping on Peeta's chest._

_Maddie and Peeta both sleeping with their left arms hooked behind their heads and their legs splayed out._

_Peeta and Delly curled up on the couch with Maddie in front of them._

Another drink. Then another. His head was starting to swim, just the beginning of the intoxication he needed at this point.

_Maddie with spaghetti all over her face, crinkling her nose in disgust._

_Delly holding Maddie's hands to help her walk._

_Maddie walking on her own toward Delly's smiling face._

His eyes began to water at the sights in front of him. His head was heavy but he refused to look away. He brought the bottle up one last time, finishing it off and wiping his lips with the back of his hand. He hadn't realized just how much of it he had consumed, but he didn't care. He was spiraling, the images of his past were taunting him. That happy family on the screen that he needed so badly wasn't his to have. Those were memories that he was supposed to have given up when he moved out. When he left that crying child behind for good. When he told her he wasn't coming back. When her mother had to physically remove her from his leg.

There wasn't enough alcohol in his apartment to wipe those feelings clean. Rebecca would call him an idiot right about now for even still having that DVD, let alone for watching it. Drunk. He knew better, but he didn't care. He couldn't think about anything else except the look on Maddie's face when he walked away from her. When he abandoned her. It didn't matter what anyone told him, he knew. And he hated himself for ever doing that to another person. To a child.

Peeta stumbled into the bathroom, trying to focus his eyes on the pill bottles hidden in his medicine cabinet, more than he knew what to do with. He didn't like medications, so even though he always got his prescriptions filled, they often sat untouched in his bathroom. Used only for emergency purposes. This was as much of an emergency as anything, he supposed. He was in pain, worse than when he broke his leg as a child, worse than the car accident in college, this was pain that started deep inside him, radiating from the inside out. It was unbearable. It made his limbs ache and his head pound. He needed it gone, he couldn't handle it anymore.

He knew better than to mix any of this with alcohol, he just didn't care. It was a dangerous way of thinking that had gotten him in trouble before, but it didn't matter. At this moment, he just needed to forget. He needed to rid himself of the scorching flame that threatened to consume him whole.

* * *

Peeta was not looking forward to the "beginning of the semester" meeting with his adviser. He had finally lifted himself from his depression cycle and hadn't drank for almost a week, but he was sure he still looked like shit. He had planned on spending the day with Katniss, to make up for being a total dick to her lately, especially since they wouldn't have as much time together once classes actually started. He figured she would be taking a full load, plus working at the research lab, and he was set to teach his first full load of classes, which effectively scared the shit out of him. He liked teaching just fine, but this was the first step toward proving himself, toward stepping out of his infamous mother's shadow and becoming recognized on his own. He worried if he'd be able to handle the stress-load that came with teaching and doing enough research to get published so he could get on that damned tenure track. There was no room in the slow lane here, not if he wanted to keep his job in this volatile economy. Every year**,** there were more and more fresh**-**facedgrad students searching for jobs, doing more than the years before to prove they were worthwhile. He already felt a step behind and his head started to ache.

"Ah, Peeta. You're late."

Peeta rolled his eyes as Dr. Haymitch Abernathy came strolling up to him, still reeking of day old booze. Summertime to Haymitch apparently meant giving less of a shit than normal. At least during the year he was sure to shower and attempt to scrub off the layers of his extra-curricular hobby. It was no secret that Dr. Abernathy was a functioning alcoholic, but he was tenured and still published and his classes were always full. His students hated him personally, but they continued to come back semester after semester. He was a conundrum to all the other psych faculty members but he seemed to prefer it that way. He was the one who reached out to Peeta before graduation, offering him a position and to serve as his mentor of sorts. 'There's something about you, Boy,' he said gruffly, the first time they met. 'You know what you're capable of, but you don't go showboating like the other little fuckers. You're one of the good ones.'

His mother, upon hearing the news of his position and mentor, only responded by giving Peeta a rundown of Dr. Abernathy's work on the evolutionary function of our cognitive and visual biases and stating that Haymitch at least had the decency to use actual scientific theory in his work, despite being part of the "soft" science and twisting biology to fit his own belief system. Peeta suspected that was the highest form of a compliment possible to receive from his mother, so he shared it with Haymitch during one of their meetings. Haymitch laughed and called her the battiest old kook he ever had the fortune of knowing and that he was damned close to having that cross-stitched on a pillow.

"Come on in." Haymitch limped slightly past him, a side injury he sustained during his youth when he got into a particularly nasty scuffle with some other kid from his neighborhood, exacerbated by weather, age, and his own flair for dramatics. Haymitch was the premier psychology professor in the department, meaning he got first pick of the offices when they renovated the building. Of course he would pick the one in the corner, furthest away from anyone else. He claimed it was so he never had to deal with meddling peers or sniveling undergrads who wandered by with questions about grades or some assignment, but Peeta suspected it was also so no one could give him grief about the state of it. Haymitch was brilliant but an absolutely unorganized slob. How he survived graduate school, no one was really sure. "Take a seat." He indicated toward one of the overstuffed chairs that bookended a small end table with a chess board atop. "Your move."

The pieces hadn't been touched since their last meeting, so Peeta slid his messenger bag off his shoulder and slumped into his normal seat. "Rook to d8"

"So, ready for this big, big, big adventure?" Haymitch asked, pouring himself and Peeta each a glass of the brandy he had hidden in his bookcase. He snorted as he took a sip. "Just met with that insufferable Head of Admissions who gave me some spiel about cleaning my act up for this incoming group of little shits. I swear if she didn't have me to fuss over, I don't know what she would do all day. Queen to xf6+"

"Probably her actual job," Peeta mused, his eyes scanning the board. Effie Trinket did seem to have a nose for Haymitch and his antics. The two had a strange relationship; Peeta could never tell if they hated each other or had some odd mutual respect for one another, but Haymitch had told him enough stories about her harping on him for his behavior during department head meetings or staff assemblies to make Peeta realize that she was almost always on him for something. His behavior toward the incoming students was apparently just another in a long list. "King to xf6. I take your queen."

"See? I'm providing her a vital service. No one here actually wants to do their job." Haymitch leaned back and nodded his head. "Smart move, Boy. Now, about this upcoming semester, you know your case load?"

Peeta nodded. "Two Intros, a research methods, and a lower level social. Do I get any research assistants this year?"

"Ha! Bishop to e5+. If we get any undergrad volunteers. We'll have to hope Cecelia doesn't snatch up the undecided students first. For some reason, everyone is always so damned interested in her stuff. Don't they realize that we can't all do work with that fancy schmancy virtual driving machine? Some of us have to do the boring lab stuff in order for her to actually test her ideas. Kids."

Peeta rolled his eyes. Haymitch warned him about this, about how difficult it could be to get undergrads who wanted to help in labs until their senior year when they realized that in order to go to grad school, they'd need research experience. And the school wondered why they never could pass anyone on. He shook his head. "It's fine. I've got some stuff lined up that I can start doing as soon as the pool opens for participants. I can do it myself, it'd just be easier to have a few others around to help with the day to day data collection."

"Yeah, well, I'll see what I can do. I might be able to spare a few."

Peeta let out a long breath and scanned the chess board again, his tongue resting slightly against his lips as he concentrated on the puzzle before him. He could move his King but he wondered if that's exactly what Haymitch would be expecting, since it seemed like the most logical option at the moment and Haymitch seemed to revel in setting Peeta up with his little mind tricks.

"You ready for your classes? Got your syllabi all done?"

"Yes," Peeta answered, still staring at the board. "I brought them with me in case you wanted to take a look at them."

Haymitch nodded, but kept his eyes on the young professor. "I'm sure you're fine. Your summer syllabus was well above what was expected so I don't doubt these are fine, too."

"Okay."

"There is, um, uh, one more thing I needed to talk to you about."

This caught Peeta's attention. Haymitch sounded so uncomfortable, which only occurred when students came crying to him and he hadn't had enough booze in his system yet. Looking up, he noticed that his mentor did, indeed, look a bit pale and awkward. He retracted his hand from the piece he had finally considered moving and sat back. "Yes, Sir?"

"Aw knock that 'sir' shit off, Peeta, it's nothing that important. Just a, uh, warning of sorts. I don't want to know what the hell you young'ns are doing in your spare time. Believe me, I get enough of the TMI from my students, I don't need it from you. As long as you're not kicking puppies or stuffing babies in freezers, I'll stay out of your business. Lord knows you've done well to stay out of mine." As he said this, he reached across to pour himself another glass and offered Peeta a refill, which he declined. "And I know this isn't exactly a thriving place for you kids, not really a ton of places for you all to go and relax. But I've been hearing some rumors that your little group of kiddos have been hanging around some of the undergrads' bars, down on University."

Peeta gulped and felt the blood drain from his face. Haymitch never paid any mind to the never-ending gossip that spread through the departments, so if he was bringing this up then he must know about himself and Katniss. Someone must have seen them sitting together. Maybe even leaving together. He tried to make sure to leave well enough ahead of her so it wasn't painfully obvious that they were headed toward the same place, but someone must have put two and two together. They were safe that time, she wasn't his student. But he had totally forgotten about the rampant rumors that may fly, since she was still a student.

"All I'm suggesting is that you guys shouldmaybesearch out some different watering holes, maybe on the other side of town, away from the college kids. I know you're all smart enough to know better than to get involved with anything that's going to get you in trouble, but you especially need to make sure you keep your nose clean. There's more than one professor on this campus who would love to see Dr. Helena Mellark's kid crash and burn. Spiteful bastards."

Peeta licked his suddenly chapped lips. "May I ask, ah, what you've heard? Or who you've heard it about?"

Haymitch eyed him curiously over his glass. "Is there something you'd like to get off your chest first, Dr. Mellark?"

He knew. There was no way he didn't know. That wasn't an offer so much as a statement. 'Tell me what happened so I can know what's going on.' Peeta moved his King to g5 but stayed silent. He needed to tell Haymitch what was happening but what was he supposed to say when he didn't even know himself what was happening between them. It didn't really matter, he supposed, since the University saw no difference between dating and sex when it came to professor-student relationships. Only that there was some power differential that may impact grades and class work.

Haymitch shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "Dr. Mellark, if something inappropriate happened between you and a student while she was still your student, I need to know before anyone else begins to suspect. All I know is that you two have been seen spending time together in a bar while both of you had been drinking. That's not a crime; we've all been known to interact with our older students from time to time. Hell, I take my upper level stats classes out after our final every year. But something tells me this isn't just a matter of having a few drinks with a pretty co-ed."

"No, Sir," Peeta finally answered, staring at his hands. "Nothing happened between ... her and I until after grades were finalized. We did run into each other a few times while we were out but we didn't, um, you know, until after we could. I made sure of it."

"I'm not asking about when you banged her, Boy. I'm asking if there was anything inappropriate that could come back to haunt you should this girl decide to come clean."

"She won't." Peeta answered instantly, his fingers digging into the arms of the chair.

Haymitch cocked an eyebrow. "So your ... relationship with this girl did not begin until after grades were finalized? And it is a completely consensual relationship between the two of you."

"Completely."

Haymitch shrugged. "Well, like I said, you're a smart kid and you've got a lot more to lose in this situation than she does, so I don't doubt you've made sure you're not breaking any rules. I'll do what I can to downplay the rumors but know that if you two are seen around campus together, there'll be no way to keep it quiet. These bastards love a good 'love story' almost as much as they love gossiping about a couple of 'star-crossed lovers.'"

"I understand."

"Do you? Because I don't need to tell you how much additional pressure there is on you than anyone else in your cohort. You don't need anything that's going to distract you from what you're here to do."

"You sound like my mother," Peeta mumbled.

"Even lousy moms can be smart every once in a while. Bishop to g7. Checkmate." Haymitch added with a grin. "Glad we had this chat, Peeta."

He was excused. Haymitch was done talking about Peeta's personal life, having done his duty as his adviser. "Thanks, Haymitch."

Haymitch just waved his hand as Peeta grabbed his bag and slipped out. "Oi! Boy!"

Peeta stuck his head back into Haymitch's office. "Yes?"

"I don't want to see you not live up to your potential. I meant it when I said you were one of the good ones."

* * *

Madge was a woman on a mission as she downed yet another shot of tequila, having already brushed off Katniss' pleas to stop. When they got to the bar that evening, Madge hadn't indicatedthat she was looking to get plastered. It was supposed to be a low-key night for them, andthat was the only reason Katniss agreed to go out in the first place. Two weeks after the last time she actually saw Peeta, with only a handful of text messages between them, and Katniss was still struggling to figure out what exactly was happening between them.

But now, rather than working that out with her best friend, Katniss was busy trying to locate whoever kept buying Madge shots, so she could not-so-politely tell him them to knock that shit off right now. Actually, she should give Gale a piece of her mind for serving some asshole trays full of shots but when she caught sight of him, he was on the far side of the bar helping a different group of patrons, totally unable to be the provider of the shots.

"To all the fuckers who fuck fucking bitches!" Madge's voice rang out from the small crowd of people, followed by a roar of approval. Katniss located her roommate's bleach-blonde hair and pushed through the crowd to get to her, throwing death glares at whoever complained about how rudely she shoved them out of the way. She didn't even know where all these people came from, but she figured she'd gladly take them all out at this point if they stood in her way.

She was, however, stopped short when she finally got through the crowd and watched Madge aggressively making out with some stranger next to her, amid the cat calls and cheers for either the guy or her, Katniss couldn't tell for sure. Either way, Madge had her arm wrapped around the man's neck and was pressing her body flush against his and Katniss could swear there was slight pelvic thrusting going on. "Madge!" she cried, pulling on her friend's elbow.

"Katniss!" Madge yelled with a smile. "Fucking hell, it's my bestie, Katniss!" She jumped off the rando she had been sucking face with and flung her arms around her roommate's neck. "Someone get this girl a fucking shot for being the best fucking friend in the entire fucking world!" The group cheered again as Madge planted a very sloppy kiss on the lips of a very unsuspecting Katniss.

"Madge," Katniss warned, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, cringing at the amount of Madge's 'Rouge Volupté Shine' lipstick that rubbed off. "Madge, what are you doing? I thought you said this was going to be low key. And here you are, taking shots, kissing people, making a joke of yourself. Come on," she reached for Madge's elbow again but Madge quickly jerked it away. "Madge!"

Two shots appeared in front of them but before Madge could drink it, Katniss snatched it away and downed them both, one right after the other, losing the battle not to gag as the spiced liquor drained down her throat. "Jesus, Madge, how are you still standing?" she sputtered.

"I ... don't know," Madge admitted, "I'm honestly a little disappointed that I still am." She turned back to the group. "Who's here to get fucked up?"

Katniss reached for her again, pulling her away from the still cheering group. "What is going on with you, Madge?"

"What are you talking about?" Madge asked, stumbling slightly at being forced to move so quickly while drunk. Her words were beginning to noticeably slur and her eyes glossy and bloodshot. "I'm fine. I was just trying to have a good time and these fiiiiine gentlemen started providing shots."

"Do you want me to take you home?"

Madge squinted at the clock behind the bar and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Katniss. I know I promised you a quiet night. I just...I just need to forget tonight. I don't...I can't explain it right now. But you should go, I know this isn't fun for you. I can just call a cab when I'm done here."

Katniss wanted to protest, to tell Madge just to come home now, but she knew it would be a lost cause. When Madge needed to forget, there was no getting her off her method. Tonight it happened to be through alcohol and social validation. It wasn't healthy and Katniss hated it, but Madge didn't interfere with her coping mechanisms unless they became problematic, so she wouldn't either. She gave Madge a hug, reminding her to be safe and to call her if she needed anything.

But just to be safe, she figured she'd let Gale know, so he could at least keep an eye on her. As Katniss approached his side of the bar, she understood exactly what Madge was trying to forget. Sitting at the edge of the bar, running a finger along the rim of her beer bottle was the same sex-kitten she was once jealous of. Only this time, instead of hanging allover Peeta, Johanna was quite clearly interested in Gale, who was leaning over the bar, looking at her in a way that he had previously reserved only for Madge. Katniss felt her stomach drop as they laughed and Gale's hand slid over the back of hers when he had to pour someone else's drink. She watched Johanna's eyes follow him over her bottle and smile when he finally turned back to wink at her.

Gale winked at her? What the hell? It took everything in Katniss' body not to march over there and give him a verbal lashing but she knew that wouldn't solve anything. It was clear Madge knew about this current development and didn't want Katniss to get involved, or she would have told her. And she did hate getting in the middle of those two's problems. Instead she turned around and found her former place at the table, switching her drink to a Diet Coke and kept an eye on her roommate with a sad smile.

At some point, Madge realized she hadn't left and came over to her, far more intoxicated than was probably healthy. "You stayed?" Her eyes flitted over to the bar and began to water. "I know he's your friend..."

Katniss squeezed her hand. "Hey now. None of that. You're my best friend. Chicks before dicks or something, right?"

Madge laughed and wiped her eye. "Something like that."

"You ready to go home?"

"Yeah. I think so. Um, do I look...do I look like I've been..."

Katniss stood and used her thumb to wipe the tear and bits of eye shadow that had smudged on Madge's face. She fluffed her roommate's hair and smiled. "Gorgeous, dahling. But if you want, you can walk on the other side of me." Madge nodded and Katniss wrapped her arm through Madge's elbow, pulling her close. She caught Gale's eye for just a second on their way out but turned her head to focus on Madge, who was doing her absolute best to appear collected, despite her level of drunkenness. Surprisingly, to the untrained eye, she was pretty convincing, but Katniss knew Gale would be able to tell if he wanted. So she used her body to block as much of Madge's as possible until they were in the car and on their way home.

When Katniss climbed into bed behind Madge and wrapped her arms around the blonde, she heard the tears start to fall. "Katniss," she sobbed.

"It's ok, Madge," Katniss answered, running her fingers through Madge's curls. "I'm here."

"Do you...do you think she's prettier than me?"

Katniss frowned. Madge's insecurities, which Katniss never really understood, were exacerbated by alcohol, leaving the blonde girl a broken mess when she got this way. There wasn't much Katniss could do for her other than answer her questions and prepare for the onslaught of the next few days until Madge finally roused herself out of her funk. "Absolutely not. That's the same girl, remember, who was hanging all over Peeta that night."

"Fuck her. She's probably a skank whore." Madge was quiet for a few minutes. "Actually, I'm sure she's really nice. It's Gale that's a skank whore."

Katniss let out a laugh that took over the room and soon both girls were laughing. "Go to sleep, Madge. We'll deal with this in the morning, okay?"

"Yeah," Madge answered softly, snuggling in closer against Katniss' body.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, Katniss' phone lit up.

Peeta. 3:33am. /I'm sorry I've been so distant./

Katniss. 3:35am. /It's okay./

That was a lie. Katniss wasn't ok with it; it had been plaguing her since he dropped her off with little more than a kiss on the cheek.

Peeta. 3:38am. /You deserve to know why./

Well, there it was. She had been so confused about what he was going through and what it meant for them. But his willingness to explain, to open up about whatever had happened that day, that had to be a positive step, right? Alan had never tried to explain when he was an ass and just dismissed it when she asked, assuring her it would never happen again. Which, of course, it always did.

Peeta. 3:39am. /Let me know when you're free?/

Katniss. 3:40am. /Next week? After classes get settled?/

Peeta. 3:43am. /You let me know. I'm just so sorry, Katniss. You deserve better./

Katniss. 3:46am. /You don't know that. I'll text you when I'm free. Night, Peeta./

Peeta. 3:50am. /Sweet dreams, my beautiful girl ;)/

Katniss laughed at the last message and fell asleep with a goofy grin on her face, which should have made her anxious since she was frustrated with him only minutes before. Instead, she felt slightly guilty for feeling so giddy while her friend was so hurt. But Madge was soundly asleep at the moment, so Katniss allowed herself to feel the lightness that overtook her whenever Peeta said things like that to her.

* * *

It took another couple of weeks before Katniss felt calm and collected with her schedule. None of her biology professors were going to make this semester easy and when she made out her calendar of due dates, tests, study sessions, and her work schedule, she thought she might lose her mind. Adding onto her pressure, her advisor loved her idea for her senior thesis so much that he less-than-subtly hinted he wanted her to try to get it published in an undergrad journal. No pressure or anything. She wondered if she should preemptively apologize to Madge for the inevitable fighting that will occur between them because of her stress.

Madge was still having some issues but only Katniss was privileged enough to know when she had a breakdown. Both girls had become pros at hiding whenever anything bothered them from everyone but each other. The morning after the bar, Katniss scoured through Madge's room, checking all possible hiding places for anything that could be used to puncture or cut into her skin. She had made remarkable strides in her coping skills and had done a very thorough cleaning herself, but she always thought of herself as a recovering alcoholic in that sense. She would never be "cured" of the desire to hurt herself, but she could find better ways of dealing with things. But when Madge got into a spiral, her behavior was always somewhat unpredictable, and this thing with Gale had most definitely sent her into a spiral.

Madge had scheduled an appointment with that therapist for a Friday afternoon, since his office was back home, nearly two hours away. She had tried to find other people closer to town but never felt comfortable with anyone else. Her parents were going to be out on some trip anyway, so she'd have the entire 'Undersee Manor' all to herself, no overbearing parents to circumvent any progress she may be able to make in her session. But it meant Katniss would have the apartment to herself for the entire weekend.

Katniss. 4:25pm. /You free tonight?/

Peeta. 4:30pm. /Say around 6? I can make us dinner if you want./

Katniss. 4:33pm. /See you then./

Katniss found herself slightly nervous as she came upon Peeta's door. She wanted to know what had happened to him; he said himself she deserved to know. But she remembered that look on his face that morning, which she knew alltoo well. A look of loss. Of despair. Of complete abandonment. Was she really prepared to deal with whatever he had lurking inside him that served as a switch of sorts, flipping his personality from charming and welcoming to completely closed off? She could leave now, she realized. She hadn't knocked on his door yet, her arm was only hovering slightly in the air. She could leave and he would never know and she could just tell him it was too much. That the power differential wasn't something she could handle. That she needed to focus on her schoolwork and didn't need the extra distraction.

But she couldn't leave. She couldn't seem to break that bond between them, even when she was angry at him and wanted nothing to do with him, they were drawn together in some unimaginable way. Sure she could walk away now, but it would never last. She'd be back at some point, she'd see him again, and it would all have been for nothing. He was in her system now, like some drug that addled with her brain and made her incapable of thinking of anything else. She didn't like it, but that disapproval never seemed to last long enough for her to act on it. It was fleeting, the last bit of rationality when it came to Peeta was brief and fading quickly. And was replaced by a feeling of contentment. A feeling of fullness and satisfaction that she hadn't experienced for some time. A new kind of hunger that refused to be quenched.

So she knocked. And when he answered the door, she couldn't stop the small smile that flitted across her face. The smile previously only reserved for Prim. For her Prim. The thought alone replaced the smile with a scowl. How dare she allow herself to share that with anyone else. It was hers and Prim's, and no one else's. Her mind was reeling and she felt light-headed. Hands reached for her and pulled her into a warm body.

"Katniss. Are you okay?"

Everything stopped. And all she could see were those blue eyes that she had so missed with that mop of blonde hair. But that wasn't her voice. And those weren't her hands. _That's not her, Katniss. Not anymore._ She blinked a few times, allowing Peeta's broad form to come in clearly. "Um, yes. Sorry, bit of a head rush, apparently. Can I uh, have a glass of water?" It was a cover, but not enough to slip past him. His eyes were trained on her, worry seeping through them, as if he thought she may collapse at any moment.

He led her to the couch and slipped into the kitchen to fill her a glass. "Here," he handed it to her, sitting on the opposite side of the sofa, just far enough away so their knees would brush against one another if either shifted just right. "I, uh, I'm glad you came over."

Katniss took a large gulp of water before responding. Her head was still dizzy but she knew where she was, knew why she was here. No more images of her baby sister. "I'm not happy with what you did, you know," she said quietly. "It was what I was afraid would happen. Why I asked -"

"I know. And I'm so sorry, Katniss. Believe me, when you asked that it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do. And I had every intention of calling you every day. You were always in my head, I just...I couldn't talk to you then. Not until I figured some stuff out." He sighed and moved from the couch over to his television, fishing out the blank DVD case. "This is why I couldn't talk to you," he explained, holding the case up.

She nodded, debating if she should tell him that she understood. That she had seen it before, that she knew he had a daughter and a family someplace else and that while she didn't want kids, she wouldn't be scared off by him having one. Because surely that's what it was about. She saw the pictures. She heard the fight that morning. If she came clean, it would make it easier, right? "Peeta, I know."

"You know?"

"I know about her. About the little girl. And the woman."

Peeta smiled sadly at the DVD case, running his finger along the art cover on the front. "No, Katniss, you don't know. That's what I need to tell you about." He sat back down on the couch and opened the case, pulling out the stack of pictures. He held up the one of the three of them together. "This," he said, pointing to the woman next to him, "Is Delly. Delly was the absolute love of my life. Second only to Madaline." He pointed to the little girl. "I didn't think it was possible to love anything as much as I loved her. Well, love her, I suppose."

"Your daughter."

Peeta chuckled. "Even before she was born, I loved that little girl. Delly used to joke that she would know when I was near because her heart would calm down and she'd stop kicking. She was pretty feisty. She had me wrapped around her tiny little finger her entire life and there was no place else I ever wanted to be than near her. She's, uh, going to be five soon."

Katniss didn't know what to say. Wasn't sure if he actually wanted her to say anything.

"Delly and I started dating after she got pregnant, about three months in or so. She was so scared at the time, I remember that, but I knew I would protect her. She was my best friend and I would never let her go through that alone, that I would do anything she needed. And we were happy, for a long time."

"You were together for almost five years? Peeta, that's not a relationship, that's a marriage."

He nodded. "It almost was, bought a ring and everything. I told her she deserved to have someone who wasn't going to just leave her, that we could be an actual family, no questions asked."

"She said no?"

"No, she accepted. Maddie was so excited," he laughed. "She didn't really understand what it meant but it made us happy and that's all she ever seemed to care about. She was three when that happened. It was all so perfect."

Katniss swallowed another drink of water. "So what happened?"

"There was, uh, someone else," Peeta admitted, sucking in a large breath of air.

"She cheated on you?"

He exhaled slowly. "Not exactly. No, the uh, Thom, that's his name. Thom came around one day, looking for Delly, apologizing for running off, saying he was just a scared kid and wasn't ready to be what she needed at the time. But that he had grown up, he wanted to try again, wanted to be a family."

"A family?"

"Thom was...is Maddie's father, Katniss."

She watched as his blue eyes welled up. She set her glass down and moved over right beside him, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "But I thought..."

"We made a pretty little family, didn't we? If you didn't know, you'd never be able to tell. But Delly always could. Maddie had Thom's nose and his toes. And every so often, when she'd get really excited, she'd do this snort-wheeze thing that was just like him. None of that mattered to me, I never saw her as anyone's but mine. We raised her, she didn't know anyone different. At first, Delly was furious; she threw him out immediately, told him that she didn't need him and that he couldn't reappear only when it was convenient for him. I was so proud of her and I thought, in that moment, that he'd be gone. We'd never have to tell Maddie about him showing up."

"He came back," Katniss realized. "And Delly forgave him?"

Peeta nodded. "It took a while, but she did. She wanted them to be the family she always hoped she'd have with him. They were high school sweethearts, dated all through college, everyone always assumed they'd end up together. But Maddie only needed one dad. And that," he choked out, "Was not me. We fought constantly; I warned her that he may just leave again, that caring for a child may be too much for him, that Maddie wouldn't understand why both of her dads left her. But she was adamant. Madaline deserved to know her real father, that they should be an actual family. So, uh, so I left. I packed all my stuff and moved out here, accepting the offer from Haymitch to teach."

"You just left?"

"Biggest mistake of my life. I left it up to Delly how to talk to Maddie about me leaving her. I'll never be able to forget that day. It took weeks before I could close my eyes and not see her face crumbling as I walked out."

"That was her who called that morning?"

"Yeah," he affirmed. "She was nervous for her first day of Pre-K so she stole Delly's phone and called me. I used to drop her off at daycare every day when I had class and I guess she...she wanted me to do it this year. Then Delly got on the phone and started-"

Katniss shushed him by kissing him softly, tasting the salty tears that had escaped his beautifully blue eyes at the memory of the little girl. His lips quivered slightly as she pushed hers harder against his. 'It's okay,' she told him in the kiss. 'I understand.' and 'I forgive you.'


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** Slight trigger warning for this chapter (minor character death) and some implied abuse.

* * *

October rainstorms were some of Katniss' favorite kinds of storms. The nights were cooled to the perfect temperature and the rhythmic pitter-patter of the raindrops on the window was calming and soothing. At least, it would be if Katniss could hear the raindrops over her yelling at her idiot football team.

"I just don't understand! Why would do we keep running straight up the middle against the best run defense in the conference?!"

Madge shrugged and grunted some form of approval, since she didn't really understand what Katniss was talking about.

"Especially when our backs are so much stronger on the outsides!" She took another swig of her beer and glanced over to where her roommate was struggling to keep a straight face. "What?"

"It's just," Madge started. "I mean, it's only the beginning of the...second...quarter, Katniss. Calm down. Have a Jell-O shot."

Jell-O shots were Madge's second favorite thing about football games. The first being the "hot boys in tight pants" as she so eloquently pointed out at the start of every game. She didn't grow up in a football town like Katniss had, hadn't gone to a high school that cared much about sports in general, so before rooming together, Madge had never actually seen a football game. Upon hearing that, Katniss insisted on dragging her to the only bar in town that consistently played her college team, which was difficult to do since she cheered for the rival college than the majority of people on campus, and introducing her to the lifestyle, which included the free Touchdown Jell-O Shot. Now, whenever they watched games at home, Madge made sure to have a tray of Jell-O shots ready to go.

Katniss stuck her tongue out at her and sauntered into the kitchen to grab a couple shots from the fridge. She ran her tongue around the edge of the plastic container to loosen the Jell-O before sucking it down in one shot. She handed the other to Madge and plopped back down on the sofa.

Peeta. 7:16pm. /What are you up to?/

Katniss. 7:18pm. /Yelling at my football team and drowning my pain in vodka and Jell-O./

She glanced at Madge and bit her bottom lip. "Madge? Would you be okay with me inviting Peeta over for the game?"

Madge cocked an eyebrow. "You mean I finally get to meet this mysterious man who has stolen you from my life?"

Katniss rolled her eyes. "You've met him before."

"I was drunk. Besides, he wasn't your boyfriend then."

"Ugh," Katniss scoffed. "He's not my 'boyfriend,' we're just, you know, 'seeing each other.'"

Katniss. 7:24pm. /Wanna come over? Watch the game with us?/

Peeta. 7:26pm. /Who is 'us'?/

Katniss. 7:27pm. /Me, Madge, and about two dozen Jell-O shots./

Peeta. 7:29pm. /I am a sucker for Jell-O shots. Need me to bring anything else?/

Katniss. 7:30pm. /Nope. Just you. And dat ass./

Peeta. 7:31pm. /Someone's feeling sassy tonight ;)/

Katniss shook her head and tossed her phone next to her. "What now?" she asked a bemused Madge.

"Oh, nothing. Except that no one grins like that when they're just 'seeing someone.'"

Katniss threw a pillow at her. "Shut up and order the damn pizza already, will you?"

The first time the bell rang both girls stared at each other. "Five bucks to you if it's the pizza man, five to me if it's Peeta?" Madge wagered.

"You're on." Katniss grabbed the pile of cash on the counter and went to check on the door. With a smile, she turned back to Madge. "Oh darn, Undersee, looks like you owe me five bucks."

"You are so full of shit, Everdeen. Let the fucker in. Peeta!" She called in a sing-song voice to the open door. "Come in and out of the rain!"

"Thanks, Madge," Peeta's voice carried through. He kissed a scowling Katniss on the cheek and slipped his shoes off. "What was that all about?"

"Madge is just being a bitch," Katniss answered. "Hi." She leaned into Peeta's body as they made their way to the couch.

"Pay up, beyotch."

Katniss rolled her eyes and fished a $5 from her pocket. "Fine. But I'm not paying for the pizza boy's tip. So, ha."

"You never pay the tip," Madge shot back. "Peeta, you want a beer, since someone is being rude tonight?"

Peeta looked between the roommates, both with sarcastic grins hiding their pretend feud. "Uh, sure, thanks."

Madge mockingly laughed at Katniss and jumped up to get a beer from the fridge, just as the doorbell rang with their dinner. "So, Peeta," she started as she handed him a beer and a slice of pizza. "Tell me about yourself. Katniss hasn't really shared too many details about you with her best friend slash roommate. What do you do?"

Katniss' eyes widened for a second. It wasn't that she had intentionally kept personal details about Peeta to herself. In fact, she was quite certain there were only two people in the world who would accept her for whatever they were doing and one happened to be her best friend slash roommate. Things just hadn't really come up. Especially _that_. It wasn't that Katniss thought Madge would judge her for sleeping with her former professor, had it been any other former professor. Not the former professor who she used to consistently complain about. Not the former professor she had, on multiple occasions, called a prickless, soulless, self-righteous bastard who even the cheapest whore wouldn't screw if she were wasted. It certainly wouldn't bode well for Katniss if it turned out that she was lower than said cheap whore who actually bragged to Madge about how good Peeta was in bed. She stuffed half a slice of pizza into her mouth and bumped Peeta's leg with her foot.

He tapped his beer can against her knee and answered without missing a beat. "I am a teacher, actually."

Katniss let out an inaudible sigh of relief as the two kept conversing normally. Peeta continuously bounced the can on her knee gently and she finally relaxed enough to turn her attention back to the halftime statistics no one else seemed to care about. As it turned out, despite being a male born and raised in the Midwest, Peeta was about as knowledgeable as Madge when it came to football. But he was just as content to goad Katniss on and celebrate when her team finally started to play better and eventually take the lead. They ran out of Jell-O shots before the end of the fourth quarter because Peeta and Madge created some new drinking game where they took a shot anytime Katniss sat but then stood back up less than a minute later.

By the end of the game, Katniss' emotions had flip-flopped between irrationally angry and uncontrollably happy more times than either could keep track of, but ultimately resulted in an excited, somewhat exhausted apartment. It was Madge's idea to watch a movie afterward, rather than going out to do something, which the others readily agreed to.

"I'll find us some blankets. You two wanna pick out a movie? Nothing-"

"Nothing scary, I know," Katniss finished. She turned to Peeta and in a hushed voice added, "We don't even have any scary movies out here. So, what are you thinking? Funny? Adventure?"

"Hmm," Peeta wandered behind her as she searched through the bookcase full of their shared DVD collection. He reached around her, pressing his chest against her back. He dipped his head, his warm breath tickling her ear. She smirked and let her head fall back on his chest. "All that cheering wear you out?" he mused.

"Have I scared you off with my rabid obsession?" she joked.

"Not even close, sweetheart." He kissed her temple. "It only makes you more adorable."

"Blech. I'm not adorable."

"No, but the pair of you are," Madge added, leaning against the chair she had been sitting on with a smirk and an armful of blankets. "Did you pick something or should I just go back in my room with headphones?"

"Shut up, Madge." Katniss grabbed one of their favorites off the shelf and tossed it at her. "Be useful and skip past the previews, will you?" She smiled smugly at Madge and nodded at Peeta toward the couch.

"Should I leave the lights on? This is a PG-13 apartment, you know"

"Oh my God, Madge! Turn off the damn lights and start the stupid movie already." Katniss hid her face in her hands. The playful banter with Madge was always that, playful, but having Peeta around while Madge insinuated that they couldn't keep their hands to themselves was mortifying. As soon as the lights were off and everyone was settled under their blankets, Peeta pulled her close to him and she forgot all about her roommate as his scent and warmth overtook her. She rested her head against his shoulder and lost herself both in the movie and him.

Halfway through, Madge yawned loudly and slid out of her chair. "I'm going to bed. You two going to be okay?" Katniss waved her off and Madge just shook her head and shuffled into her bedroom. But not before throwing back one more jab. "Just put down a blanket or something, okay? Because I still have to sit on that couch."

"Good night, Madge!" Katniss shouted back. She was surprised to feel Peeta's chuckle. "What?"

"You two, how close you are. It's nice. Almost makes me miss having a roommate. Almost."

She rolled her eyes. "She's a pain."

"Could be worse. She could still be out here instead of letting us have time to ourselves," he said with a twinkle in his eye. "I had a roommate in college who could not take a hint, so my girlfriend and I always had to get creative with where we could fool around."

"Are you trying to say you want to fool around, Peeta Mellark?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," he answered, pulling her legs until she was lying flat against the sofa cushions and he hovered above her. "Complaining?"

She hooked her hand behind his neck and pulled his face to hers. "Never." Their lips met in a fever, pressing hotly against one another. His tongue spread her lips and met with hers, dancing inside her mouth as they pressed their bodies closer. His hand tangled in her hair, pulling a few strands loose with his fingers. The other slipped under her shirt as he deepened their kiss. Her hips twitched under his, their legs tangling together. She got the leverage she wanted and began turning slowly so eventually it was Peeta on his back and Katniss lying on top.

"Well look at you, sneaky girl," he muttered against her lips.

"Shut up," she groaned when both of his hands trailed under her shirt, up her torso to the sides of her breasts. His hands roamed over her body, his clipped fingernails scratching her skin lightly, down to the waistband of her jeans. He squeezed his hands as far into her jeans as possible, his fingertips just brushing over the curve of her ass before he grunted in frustration.

"Off," he said, scowling at her pants.

She lifted herself up and returned his look with one of her own. "Excuse me, Peeta Mellark, but this is my house and therefore, we play by my rules. Rule number one in this house is that I wear the pants. Which in _this case_ means..." she smirked and let her eyes drift down to the bulge in his jeans. She shifted her hips against him, eliciting a low exhale as she did. She lifted the hem of his shirt up and began planting kisses down his chest. She let her tongue trail after her lips, tracing down the dark blonde hair that trailed down to his jeans.

"Off," she mimicked in a low voice, her face just inches from the button. Peeta knew if he could move at this moment, he would, but he was too enraptured by her small fingers quickly working his pants open. He was proud of himself for being able to raise his hips enough for her to slide his jeans and black boxer-briefs down.

She wrapped her hand around his erection and quickly found a rhythm, her brain working hard to remember how her exes had liked it and how Peeta had shown her that night at his apartment. She experimented by twisting her wrist as she pumped his cock, using the bit of fluid from the tip for lubrication.

She scooted back to sit on her ankles and covered the head of his cock with her mouth. He let out a deep moan when she closed her lips around him and licked the tip with her tongue. She took a little more of him with each press of her mouth, swirling her tongue as she bobbed up and down, her hand covering what she couldn't fit in her mouth, so every inch of his cock was being touched. His fingers found their way back to her hair, wrapping around the tendrils that came loose from her braid.

She forced her eyes open, keeping grey locked on his blue. His hips would spasm up every so often and she could see the look in his eye - desire mixed with a hint of guilt for subconsciously forcing his cock deeper into her mouth. She took a deep breath and relaxed her jaw, wondering just how much of him she could fit without gagging. When the tip hit the back of her throat, she paused and forced herself to take just a little more.

The deep rumbling that came from Peeta as she did that was enough encouragement. She blocked the feeling from her head and continued to suck him, taking him that deep whenever possible. Her other hand moved to his balls, massaging them as she increased the pressure from her mouth. She could feel his body begin to tremble, his fingers tightening in her hair and she couldn't help but smile.

"Katniss." His breath was labored and when she looked back up at him, his eyes were screwed shut and his head was thrown back on the armrest of the couch. "I'm..."

She released him with a quiet pop only long enough to tell him that she wanted him to, that she needed to make him feel good, that she couldn't wait to taste him. He let out another hard breath and she returned her mouth to his cock. She could feel his balls tightening in her palm and she took a few deep breaths, preparing herself for him. He jerked and moaned as he came. She closed her eyes and just kept swallowing as he filled her mouth. She gave the head one final lick and sat back on her feet.

He opened his eyes, a groggy smile on his lips. "Hey." He reached for her and pulled her down so her head rested on his chest. "That was...uh..."

"Okay?" she asked.

He kissed the crown of her head, right where his fingers had been entangled. "More than okay. Totally unexpected."

She smiled into his shirt. "Good." She let the steadying rise and fall of his chest lull her into peacefulness. He pulled a blanket over them and wrapped his arms around her. The rain continued to fall against the window. They watched whatever was left of the movie that way, wrapped up each other's warmth, kissing each other and running their hands over the other's body.

After the movie, when Katniss finally peeled herself off of Peeta and began folding the blanket that had been covering them, she gave him a look. "It's pretty late. You could...stay...if you wanted."

He buttoned his jeans and began cleaning up the plates around the living room. "Ah, thanks, sweetheart, but I should probably get home. I've got an early morning tomorrow."

"On Sunday?" she joked.

He shrugged. "Have to keep up with the academic life, even on the weekends."

She nodded and silently took the plates from him, moving quickly to finish cleaning.

"Hey," he reached for her and pulled her close to him. "It's not that I don't want to, okay? Fall semester is the best time to collect data and I have to keep on top of things if I want to start on the tenure track. But it's nothing to do with you." He lifted her chin with his fingers and kissed her. "I promise."

"Okay," she conceded, still not happy but begrudgingly understanding of what he needed to do.

"Walk me to my truck, though?" he asked with a crooked smile. "Even though it's raining?"

She rolled her eyes but agreed, sliding the remaining pizza into the fridge and slipping on her flip flops. They walked next to each other down the stairs to the main door and out into the drizzling rain. Katniss was ready to step out from under the overhang when Peeta's grip pulled her back. "What are you doing?"

"Shh," he said, with a finger to his lips. He nodded his head to the edge of the steps and squatted down. There, caked in mud and barely visible, was a tiny, mangled kitten, shaking and shivering in the cold. "Hey there, little one," Peeta cooed, reaching his hand out to the kitten. It eyed him and cautiously sniffed the back of his knuckles before letting out a quiet squeak and nuzzling against him. Peeta picked it up and brought it under the overhang. "Look at it, no tags, poor baby."

Katniss cocked an eyebrow at him. _Poor baby?_ The thing fit comfortably in one of his hands, obviously the runt of the litter, left behind because it wasn't able to keep up with the rest of the clan. She had little sympathy for stray cats; their neighborhood was full of them, especially runts that couldn't survive on their own. And here was Peeta, not only holding this mongrel but petting it and letting it rub its muddy head against his face. "What are you doing?" she asked, as he tucked it under his arm.

"What? Someone's got to take care of this little baby," he answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Unless you want to."

Katniss scowled. No. She did not want that cat. "Uh, I can't. Um...Madge is allergic," she lied. Somehow watching him take care of that tiny little thing made Katniss realize that if she told him she was one of those rare women who didn't like _baby things,_ it would turn him off. It was easier to blame it on Madge's non-existent allergies than on her own missing maternal gene.

"Well, then I guess I'll have to take it," Peeta answered. The kitten meowed in response, looking up at him with big eyes. "Yes I will," he said down to the kitten, oblivious to the way Katniss watched their interaction with disgust. She corrected her features as soon as he looked up. He kissed her cheek and smiled. "Thank you for inviting me over, Katniss. I'll call you soon?"

"Uh, sure," she agreed, still eyeing the kitten under his arm. She could have sworn it narrowed its eyes back at her, mirroring the scowl she often wore. Even as she slept, she saw that scowling cat, imagining it hissing at her threats to drown it when Peeta wasn't looking.

* * *

A sharp knock on his door frame pulled Peeta out of his focused reading of one of the journal articles stacked on his desk. "Office hours don't start until 2," he called, without looking up.

"Good thing I'm not in need of your assistance then, Mellark," Johanna replied. "Only your presence for lunch."

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, messing up any semblance of neatness it may have had. "I don't know, Johanna, I really need to get through these to find some reasoning for my hypothesis."

"How long have you been at it?" she asked, entering his office and plopping down on his couch. She grabbed one of the books he kept on his bookcase and absentmindedly flipped through it.

"All morning," he admitted, waving the stack of articles at his feet. "I just can't seem to find what I'm looking for in these."

"Isn't that good, though, to blaze your own trail?"

Peeta sighed again. "Kind of. Sometimes. Probably. It's just frustrating. I'm not looking to reinvent the wheel, just understand it better, I guess."

"You know what I think?" Johanna asked, tossing the book on the floor near the bookcase.

"Do I want to know?" Peeta liked Johanna, obviously; the two met in graduate school and her presence here made his decision to come that much easier for him. But at times, even he couldn't handle her crass and impulsive nature.

She rose and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and forcing the article he had been reading down to his desk. "I think you need a break. Come on, my treat."

Peeta gave her a surprised look. "Your treat? What happened to the Johanna who could weasel her way out of paying for anything?"

Johanna let out a laugh but pulled on his arm. "First time for everything. Come on, Mellark."

Peeta couldn't help but feel paranoid when he and Johanna searched the unofficial "Professor's Corner" in the Union for a place to sit. As if it wasn't enough that there was a very obvious hush that fell over whichever table they walked by, the whispers started right back up once they passed. If Johanna had noticed anything, she didn't let on, so he tried to shake it himself, though he was unable to ignore it completely.

Especially when one particularly unsavory professor from biology wouldn't stop watching him. With that little smirk on his face. And the unnerving look in his eye that made Peeta more uncomfortable than anything else. He turned his chair as much as possible to face Johanna instead. "So what's new in the world of English?"

Johanna snorted over her forkful of chicken salad and shook her head. "More of the usual. I'm the bottom of the totem pole so I get all the whiny freshmen who can't seem to figure out why they need to learn how to write correctly."

"Oof," Peeta agreed, unwrapping his sandwich. "That's never a good sign."

"Oh, it gets better. And by better, I mean horrifically worse. In my lit class, when I asked for my students' favorite authors, it was like I was speaking Martian or something. I mean, I got nothing. Crickets. Quieter than crickets. I almost died."

"They couldn't come up with a single author?" Peeta asked in shock. "I mean, they couldn't just make something up? Shakespeare, Twain, Hemingway, Seuss?"

Johanna took a long sip of her pop. "Apparently not. I mean, I would have even accepted that vampire chick for God's sake!"

Peeta bit into his food to hide his grin. Johanna, for all her rough edges, was a bit of a literary snob. She could rattle off the most prominent Russian authors from the 15th century that you never knew you didn't know until she explained how they influenced Stan Lee's comic book heroes. Most modern, popular authors had not, in her mind, proven themselves to be worth her time yet, so to be willing to accept one as a "favorite author" meant she was seriously desperate with her students. He suddenly felt far more concerned for her students' well-being this semester. "And what of your new boy? Does he have a favorite author?"

"Yeah, whoever wrote the fucking Karma Sutra."

"Jesus, Johanna!" Peeta answered, once he got the wedge of bread unclogged from his throat at her lack of decorum.

She shrugged at him, smiling fondly. "Sorry, Peet. I forget about your delicate ears."

"At least warn a guy before you start bragging about your sex life. And here I was thinking it'd be whoever wrote the newest 'Guide to Bartending' or something. Good to see he can expand his horizons."

Johanna narrowed her eyes at her friend. "My, my, Dr. Mellark. Someone is being very judgmental."

"I'm not being judgmental. I'm just surprised, is all. He doesn't really seem to be your type."

"My type?"

Peeta set his sandwich down and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You know, he's not...you know."

"No, Peeta. I don't know," Johanna answered, clearly knowing but wanting him to actually say what he was thinking.

"I mean, did he even go to college?"

Johanna cocked an eyebrow. "You think because he's a bartender that he didn't go to college?"

"Did he?"

Johanna and Peeta eyed each other for a few minutes before she broke down and laughed. "Fine, he didn't go to college. And he isn't as well read as some of my exes, but look how well those relationships ended up." She stabbed a piece of chicken and stuffed it into her mouth. "Gale's different. He's not one of those pretentious know-it-alls who tries to overcompensate by proving how smart he is or any of that bullshit. He just calls shit like he sees it and wants to enjoy life. It's fun."

"Aww. Does Johanna actually like someone?" Peeta asked in his best baby voice. He laughed and ducked when she threw a chunk of ice from her drink at his head. "No, I think that's great. I've met him a handful of times and he seemed like a nice guy."

She screwed up her face. "Oh, he's more than nice, Peeta my friend. Speaking of..." Her conspiratorial smile returned and she waggled her eyebrows. "How is your little friend?"

He knew he was being paranoid, but the corner of the union seemed to fall silent at that exact moment, as if all the professors were waiting to hear his response. He cleared his throat and tried to quiet his voice, hoping it wouldn't carry too far. "Uh, she's good. Been keeping busy, you know."

"So screwing a professor doesn't have its benefits?" Johanna joked. "Girl still has to keep up her grades?"

"Ha, ha," he deadpanned, flicking the last piece of his sandwich bread at her.

"But I guess we can't be too surprised that Dr. Mellark is sleeping with a student. It wouldn't be the first time."

Peeta felt the blood drain from his face at the newest addition to their once private conversation. The wheezy voice of the professor that had been watching the pair made Peeta's skin crawl. He felt his stomach drop at the clear accusation made against his mother. His hands fisted instantly and if it hadn't been for Johanna's subtle shift of her leg against his, he may have snapped.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cray. I didn't realize this was a conversation you were a part of," Johanna quipped.

Dr. Felix Cray, head of the biology department, had been teaching longer than Peeta had been alive. He had grown up hearing about his constant battles with his mother for grants and publications and conference presentations. He never had a positive view of the man or his work, and it was obvious that there was no love lost on the other end, either.

At Johanna's comment, Dr. Cray shifted his gaze from Peeta to her. "Mason, isn't it, from English?" It could have been an innocuous question had it not been for the way his eyes grazed over her body and the pretentious tone he took with her. "You'd be smart to remember who your superiors are and how you should be speaking to them."

Johanna set her jaw and stared back at him, unrelenting and unwilling to back down from his power trip. This time, it was Peeta who calmed her down. "What can we help you with, Dr. Cray?"

Cray's smile was almost as unnerving as his voice. His teeth were crooked and yellow and his lips peeled back like some sort of lizard when he spoke. He leaned down near Peeta's face and studied his expression. "You can help me by not making a total mockery of this school and your position, Dr. Mellark."

"That's the goal."

Cray licked his lips, his tongue blackened from years of his chewing tobacco habit. "Then try to be a little smarter about where you dip your pen. The Mellarks don't need to add another scandal to their history. Especially another one involving a co-ed. One bastard child should be enough for your family, don't you think?"

Peeta could only see red as he violently pushed his chair from the table and was nose to nose with the older professor. He had a handful of Cray's shirt in his fist, pulling him even closer. "I'd be very careful what you say about my family," he growled in a low voice, the veins in his forearms bulging as he tightened his grip.

Cray just smiled back into the face of his nemesis' son. "And I would be very careful about what threats you make toward your superior. Especially the superior who has a direct connection to your... little friend. Senior in biology, isn't she?"

Peeta's jaw twitched in response. He hadn't thought about the consequences of his actions; that this creep of a guy could have an effect on Katniss' schooling. He could pull her research job. He could even hold up her graduation. Cray could see this realization on Peeta's face and his smile grew wider. When Peeta reluctantly released his hold, Cray made a show of fixing his clothes.

"Good choice, Boy."

Peeta swallowed, his face still hard and his eyes dark with anger. He let out a deep breath. "Thanks for lunch, Johanna. I need to get back for my office hours." His mind was reeling the entire trek back to his office. He was angry at Cray for using his mother and his relationship with Katniss to get to him. He was angry at the other professors who thought it was their job to spread stupid gossip to about him. More so, he was angry at himself for not being able to keep his cool.

It wasn't the first time he had to deal with idiots making disgusting comments about his family; it was a consequence of having the mother he did. She always taught him to stay calm and collected, to not show them how they had any power over him. She always brushed off the comments as ugly jealousy, but he watched the impact it had on her. He saw it when he cleaned up the empty bottles and had to help her into bed; it was the only time her tough veneer showed any cracks.

Much to his chagrin, the incident stuck with him all day, to the point where he cancelled his afternoon classes and opted to make the three hour drive back to his hometown to visit her himself. His mother never shared much with him about his biological father, only that he wanted nothing to do with them once she found out she was pregnant and left, leaving her to raise him completely on her own. He didn't even know what his father looked like, save for a few physical characteristics that were very clearly not his mother's, but he hadn't ever been curious. If she didn't need the man in her life, then Peeta didn't, either. But now, Cray's words were hitting too close to home, making him wonder just what had happened in his mother's youth that would spur that particular set of comments on.

The drive didn't take as long as he thought it would, or maybe he just couldn't remember the drive since he was so focused on other things. Before he knew it, he was turning into the complex his mother currently lived at, punching the code to get into the gate and driving up the long path to the main office. He handed his keys and a $20 bill to the valet driver who thanked him profusely. Most residents here didn't get many visitors, he suspected, and the ones he had bumped into during his trips were often hurried and rude, as if spending time with their loved ones was so painful they'd rather be anywhere else. Unfortunately, that often translated over to how they treated the staff, which only made Peeta want to be twice as polite toward them. His mother was definitely one of the most difficult residents, so he didn't feel the need to make their lives any harder.

"Peeta!" A young girl behind the counter greeted him as he entered the office area. Lavinia had started as the day desk clerk when Peeta's mother moved in, so the two always shared a special bond. She was the one who helped Peeta the most during the first few months of his mother's stay and even sent him a baby basket when Maddie was born. "This is a random visit. Is everything okay?"

Peeta chuckled and signed his name in the visitor's log. "Hi, Lavinia. Everything's fine. I just had the afternoon free and figured she probably hasn't had many visitors lately."

Lavinia covered her mouth with her hand, but he knew she was hiding her sad smile at his words. Truth be told, no one ever visited his mother except for him.

"How's she been?"

"Oh, you know your mother. Such a sweet lady, but her swings have been a little worse lately."

"Still spending all her time in her room?"

"With all the journals that get mailed here." Lavinia shook her head. "I think some of the staff are intimidated just by the mail she gets." Lavinia handed him a visitor's badge and an electronic key to get into his mother's building. "But, like everyone else, she still has her moments of pure brilliance. Followed by..."

"Total bitch?" Peeta finished, clipping the badge to his shirt.

"Oh, Peeta," Lavinia slapped at his arm. "You know we can't talk about our residents that way."

Peeta smiled and winked. "That's why I said it, Lavinia. So you wouldn't have to."

"She's a lucky lady, your mom, to have a son like you. Stop by on your way out? I want to catch up and I'm so bored here."

"Deal. Thanks, Lavinia." He waved as she buzzed him through the lobby. The complex his mother lived at was made up of five different buildings, each designed with the residents' specific needs in mind. His mother was in Building 4, which was the second closest to the main office, presumably to prevent asshole relatives from using the "it's too far away" excuse as to why they never visit. And if anything did happen to them, security and EMT wouldn't have far to go. It was better than Building 2, which he hoped she'd never move to. People moved into Building 2 to die; even the staff hated when they got called to an apartment there.

He knocked on the door to her third floor apartment and nervously ran his hand through his hair. Visits with his mother were never particularly pleasant, though some days were clearly worse than others. He never knew which version of his mother would be waiting on the opposite side of the door, the one who welcomed him in with open arms and stories of what she'd been reading about, the one who insulted everything he had ever done during his childhood, or the woman who stood coldly in the doorway, looking at him like he was a stranger she had never laid eyes on before. The last was the worst. At least when she was insulting him, she was acknowledging his presence.

"Who is it?" Her clipped tone through the door made Peeta nervous. Usually it was accompanied with "mom 2 or 3".

"It's Peeta, Mom."

She was silent, he couldn't even hear if she was shuffling toward the door or just sitting on her couch.

"Mom?"

"Peeta?" Finally, he could hear signs of life. The door handle turned and she looked him over for a few seconds before flinging the door all the way open. "You're here. Why are you here? Is everything alright? How is the baby? Does she still have that dreadful cough?"

"No, Mom, Maddie's fine. Everything's fine. I just didn't have classes this afternoon so I thought I'd come visit."

She nodded and turned to walk back in. "Your professors must be very lenient, to not make you go to classes on a Wednesday afternoon. I never liked professors who gave their students days off for no good reason. Come in, Peeta, would you like a cup of tea?"

He followed her in, making sure to slip his shoes off and leave them outside of her apartment so he didn't track anything in. He wandered over to the kitchen, searching for her teapot, sure she didn't actually have anything ready to go. "How have you been, Mom?" he asked, getting the cups down and tea bags prepared. He grimaced at the half bottle of vodka he found in the cupboard. And the littering of empty wine bottles in her trash can.

"Oh, I've been fine. I'm losing my mind, though, Peeta, I'll tell you. These contemporary scientists, if that's what they like to call themselves, have absolutely no respect for the historical underpinnings of their theories." She sat on the couch and began flipping through one of the journals she had scattered on the coffee table. The room was full of stacks of journals; four, five, even six years old, piled high around the apartment. She refused to throw any of them away, swearing that she'd need them again, once she got back on her feet and able to begin conducting her research once more. The day she caught Peeta trying to remove the more obscure ones, she threw everything she could get her hands on at him, bruising his back with a rolling pin she dug out from the kitchen. Since then, he had resigned himself to leaving them, or taking them to the weatherproof storage facility on the complex grounds with her in tow, on the grounds of not wanting them to be a fire hazard.

"Yeah? Why do you say that?"

"Look at this little idiot," she spat, opening the journal to a page she dog-eared. "They are trying to understand the neurological basis for how nicotine and alcohol affect each other without taking into account that there has never been evidence for non-humans to actively choose to ingest nicotine. They're looking for their fame and fortune but not willing to put in the work behind it. So typical of academics these days." She accepted the cup of tea he handed her. "Tell me, is your little field just as inadequate?"

"I'm sure there are lazy researchers in every field, Mom," he answered, dreading the conversation that was sure to come.

"Hmph." She took a sip of her tea. "Needs lemon."

Peeta nodded and got up to search for a lemon in her kitchen.

"I just wish you'd get over this little infatuation you have with the social sciences. It's such a waste of your capabilities. Why couldn't you go into a real major where you'd be taken seriously?" She accepted the slice of lemon he handed her and squeezed it into her cup. "Name me one social scientist with the standing and influence of Newton or Bohr or Dalton or Sanger?"

Peeta could think of some. John Watson, Noam Chomsky, Steven Pinkert, Jean Piaget, Alfred Binet, Albert Kinsey, B.F. Skinner, William Wundt, just to name a few. But he knew better than to battle her on this topic. It wouldn't matter if it turned out Einstein was actually a social scientist who occasionally dabbled in physics, she would never give him any relief from her biased views of the sciences. But at least it wasn't fine arts or anything like that, he supposed. He couldn't imagine what life in the Mellark household would have been like if he had pursued his passion for painting.

His mother's tirade against his chosen field didn't last long; they never really did, and she quickly began diving back into her journal articles, muttering to herself and making chicken scratch notes in the margins. If he ever went through her notes, Peeta wasn't sure if he'd find the work of his genius mother or the crazy ramblings of a woman past her prime. In truth, he was almost too afraid to find out. Despite her tendency to let her brain wander, he knew he'd always see her as the smartest woman he'd ever met, the smartest person he ever met.

He left her to her musings and wandered around her apartment, looking for anything that would help relieve the anxiety he still felt about Cray's taunts. But Helena Mellark wasn't ever a sentimental woman. At least not in Peeta's memories of her, so there was very little evidence of any life outside of her academic achievements. Her diplomas still hung in frames on the walls, along with the cover pages of all her publications. The only pictures were those of her with other scientists or after receiving an award of some kind, all things he had seen before, the same ones that littered the walls of his childhood home.

She had only a few more casual reminders of her life that stayed in her bedside table drawer, locked away from the world. "_Go figure,"_ Peeta thought, sitting on the edge of her bed and pulling the contents out of the drawer. A picture of Peeta as a toddler sitting on her lap, grinning up at her like she was the most important thing in the world. She, of course, wasn't paying attention; she never really did, and was instead focused on whatever papers were spread across the kitchen table. One of Peeta's valedictorian speech during his high school graduation, taken by the professional photographer that he had to beg her to buy so there was some photographic proof of his accomplishment. None from college. Nothing from his PhD ceremony. He sighed and flipped the contents back into the drawer. He had seen those pictures before, they were of no help to him. And he surely was not about to go searching around her bedroom for evidence.

It wouldn't matter anyway. Nothing he found in her apartment would change the minds of people like Dr. Cray. Helena Mellark didn't make friends. She didn't care about friends. She was the purest of the pure when it came to academia, a mind so set on solving the problem at hand that she missed the bigger picture. It was why she didn't have friends. It was why she didn't have relationships. The sheer fact that she had a serious boyfriend in Ron for as long as she did mystified Peeta more than anything. She was never particularly nice to the baker, or his two sons from a previous marriage, she was her usual cold self. He could remember only a handful of times when Ron would pull a smile out of her, often bribing her with homemade Koulourakias or Melomakaronas. She was happier when she was with Ron, he supposed, for a while. It didn't last, obviously, and despite Ron's promises to keep them as a family, to protect and care for Peeta, he left. And once again, it was just the two of them. Only this time, Peeta was about to leave for college, a decision he never questioned before.

Helena never truly recovered from Ron. If it was possible, she became even more cold and detached afterward. She forced Peeta out of the house, demanding that he attend Stanford and stop putting other people before his career. "That makes you soft, Peeta Mellark," she warned him, "And softness will not get you anywhere in the real world. It feeds on softness and I didn't raise a failure."

She was still mumbling and jotting down notes when he returned, making absolutely no acknowledgment of his presence. He couldn't stay much longer, not with classes in the morning and a kitten that wasn't used to spending so much time alone yet. "Mom? I have to get going."

She waved him off, not looking up from her notes.

He clenched his jaw slightly and nodded. That was the most he was going to get from her at this point, as she was too far gone in her academic spiral for him to expect anything more. He took her teacup to the sink, sure she'd forget it there and most likely knock it over at some point, and paused at the door. He wished so much that he could do more for her, but he knew he couldn't. She wouldn't accept help even if he could.

He called Katniss from the road, asking if she wanted to come over and spend some time with him that night. He swung by the liquor store first, picking up a bottle of whiskey he was almost certain he didn't need but couldn't bear to not have. Although he was glad to have taken time to see his mother, his visits always left him feeling empty and alone, which was a bad combination if memory served him correctly. He needed to not feel alone tonight, he needed to get lost in Katniss, to feel her underneath him and know that she was there. That someone was still there. He didn't talk about what had happened, what was being said by whom, or that he even visited his mother. Instead, he held her as tightly as he could and whispered sweet words of affection into her ear until she fell asleep. If only sleep would come as easily for him.

* * *

Katniss held up a bagged costume and wrinkled her nose in disgust. Sexy cop. Sexy army girl. Sexy nurse. "Of course there's no sexy entomologist," she joked to Madge, who was scouring through the rack of costumes across the aisle.

"You should write an angry letter to the company," Madge suggested.

Katniss laughed. "'Dear Makers of Slutty Costumes. Bugs are hot. Sincerely, Science.' Something tells me they wouldn't take that suggestion too seriously." She sighed and pulled out the _Greek Goddess_ costume. "I mean, look at this one. Sure, it's cute on the model, but this isn't realistic."

Madge stifled a giggle at the image. "I'm pretty sure the only reason they're showing her from the side is because her hooch is showing from the front."

"Classy," Katniss answered, shaking her head. "Twenty bucks says we'll see at least...four girls in this costume this year. Tell me again why we're shopping for costumes two weeks before Halloween?"

"Because," Madge answered, turning back to her row, "We don't want a repeat of last year."

"Ah. Yes," Katniss cringed. Last year she didn't even think about Halloween until the last possible minute because she had a conference out of town the day of and wasn't planning on being home in time to go out with Madge. Of course, the others who went to the conference with her had other plans and not only convinced her to leave the conference early, but managed to cut the four hour drive down to three. She and Madge spent the better part of an hour digging through their combined wardrobes, scrambling to find anything that would work as a costume. And even though she pulled off a respectable "evil Black Swan," partially thanks to Madge's extensive corset collection, she couldn't help but wonder if everyone else could tell that hers was a last minute outfit.

Madge refused to let that happen again. So here they were, searching through the local party store's collection. "Are you going over to Peeta's place tonight?" she asked.

"I think so," Katniss answered. "Hey, are you okay with this? With me spending so much time with Peeta, I mean? Because I know I've been gone a lot more and we haven't done nearly as much together like we used to, but I can totally call off this thing tonight with him if you want. It's not going to be anything major, just-"

"Katniss. Chill," Madge laughed. "It's fine. How many times did I ditch you at home because I had random dates? You're happy with him, right?" Katniss tried to hide the grin that overtook her face, making Madge laugh even harder. "Who am I to stand in the way of a guy who gets you to smile?"

"Hey now," Katniss argued. "My smiles may be hard to come by, but I care about people."

"I know, Katniss, but I haven't seen you this happy about a guy since...well, really since ever. I don't think you were ever this happy around Cato either, except when you were both wasted and didn't know any better." Madge shrugged. "You found someone who somehow has gotten past your scowl and still wants to be with you."

"I guess," she mumbled.

"Have you told him anything about...anything?"

Katniss sighed. "No. It's never really come up." That wasn't a total lie. True, she could have brought up her family when Peeta told her about Maddie and Delly, but that was his moment. And there hadn't been any other times for her to just spring her baggage onto him. Besides, they had only been together for a few months, way too early to unload on him. She learned that lesson from Cato.

"You're going to have to at some point," Madge countered. "I mean, I know you've never even told me everything, but I'm not fucking you into happiness."

"Madge!" Katniss clamped her hand over her roommate's mouth. Madge immediately licked her hand, making Katniss cry out and pull her arm away. Both girls collapsed into a fit of giggles as Katniss wiped her hand on Madge's shoulder. "We are in public, young lady."

"Yeah, looking for slutty costumes. Oh, look!" She held out a plastic bag with a ladybug on the front. "If you can't be a sexy bug scientist, you might as well be a sexy bug! Go try it on!"

Madge shoved Katniss toward the dressing room, which was really just a tiny bathroom in the back storage area of the store, ladybug costume in hand. As she stuffed herself into the cramped room, she considered Madge's words. It was true, her friend didn't know everything about her past, but she definitely knew more than anyone else. Except for her therapist, but he didn't really count since he could judge her directly for anything. Cinna had to be objective with her, but Madge certainly didn't have to be.

And Peeta. "Ha," she audibly laughed at the thought of telling Peeta anything. Peeta, who overcame the bullshit with his ex and somehow was this normal, functioning, successful man, would never understand. There was no way he'd be able to handle her train-wreck of a backstory. Worse, he probably wouldn't want her if he knew how broken she really was; if he knew the Katniss he saw was just a mask of the real girl. And while they had only been together for a few months, she was sure she wasn't ready to let go of him just yet.

Maybe she could ease him into her world of crazy. After all, he told her something personal, the least she could do was reciprocate a little. That wouldn't be so hard, she decided.

"So? What'd you decide on the ladybug?" Madge asked when Katniss emerged from the dressing room.

"At least it covers everything. Did you find something?"

Madge held up a "naughty Girl Scout" outfit with a sinful smile. "Nothing like Halloween to bring out the pervy pedophiles. I'm going to go try it on. I'll need your opinion on it, though."

Watching Madge model her costume, confirming that it was just enough to make her youthful without being creepy, Katniss got an evil idea of her own that was sure to get a rise out of a certain professor. Without telling Madge, she snuck back to the costume section and found the perfect outfit she had in mind. She didn't bother trying it on before buying it, despite the store's 'no-return policy.' This costume would definitely help make up for any ill feelings he may have from learning one of her unpleasant secrets.

* * *

Katniss watched as Peeta dragged a shoelace across the floor, as that mangy kitten they found outside her apartment a couple weeks ago chased it. He took the thing to a local vet a few days ago for shots and to get it, well, _him_, it turned out, neutered. "So what did you end up naming it?"

"Buttercup," he answered, laughing at the kitten's overexcited jump.

She snorted and shook her head. 'Buttercup' was a ridiculous name for a cat, especially a male one. She couldn't help but see the paternal instinct in his interactions with the kitten. It looked so natural; it was easy to picture him playing with a child of his own. She still hadn't warmed up to the damn cat, or it her, but it didn't surprise her. Even as a kid, animals didn't trust her. Not like they did the other Everdeen women. "Prim would have liked that name."

He turned to his other side and watched her for a few minutes, ignoring Buttercup's head nudges against his thigh. Katniss knew what he was going to ask as soon as she slipped up. "Prim?"

"Oh, uh, my little sister." She hoped it would be enough information to get him to drop the subject entirely. If only she could be so lucky.

"I didn't know you had a little sister. Is she still with your parents?"

"My Dad, actually."

He nodded and picked up the kitten, who had begun meowing at the lack of attention, and plopped him on his chest. Buttercup immediately curled up and began purring like a truck engine as Peeta idly scratched under his chin. "How long have your parents been divorced?"

Katniss curled her legs under her and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Ah...they've been apart since I was eleven."

"Long time. Did you get to see him much?"

She winced. "Not at all, actually."

He furrowed his brow and pursed his lips. He stopped scratching the cat, moving the now irritated Buttercup to the floor to his own devices, and sat up to face her. "So is Prim your half-sister?"

"Nope. She's just...she's with Dad and I got stuck with Mom." She faked a yawn to indicate that she was tired and, hopefully, that she didn't want to talk about this subject with him anymore. She did think she was ready to deal with this stuff with Peeta, but now that they were in the moment, she realized she just wasn't yet.

"Tired, sweetheart?" Peeta rose and reached out to help her up. He pulled her close and tightly wrapped his arms around her, taking deep breaths and just holding her.

They laid in bed, facing each other, neither able to fall asleep right away. Peeta brushed a few loose strands of hair out of her eyes. "So your Dad's been...out of the picture since you were eleven. When did your sister go with him?"

His eyes were so focused, his face so soft and unassuming that she knew, in that moment, he had a pretty good idea of her truth. She bit the corner of her bottom lip and glanced down at his bare chest. "I was seventeen," she answered quietly.

He brought his forehead to hers, their lips almost brushing, before turning it slightly, nuzzling her face with his forehead. "How?"

"Car accident. We hit a patch of black ice one night and the car spun out of control. She held on for a while but..."

His lips were on hers, effectively shushing her. She didn't realize she'd begun crying until she tasted the salty liquid between them. These weren't their normal fervent kisses, but slow, sweet, full kisses. It was as if he knew how much she needed his presence in that moment, to feel the life radiating between them.

"I've never told anyone else about how Prim died," she admitted when they broke apart. "Everything just kind of fell apart after that, you know? Like she was the only bit of sanity left in my life, so when she was gone..."

"I get it, baby. You don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to." He cupped her face with both of his hands, using his thumb to brush away a stray tear. "Thank you."

She sniffed. "For what?"

"For opening up to me. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose your family like that. And to be able to admit something so huge," he smiled brightly, searching her eyes. "I just really appreciate it."

Katniss shrugged. "You told me about Delly."

"Everyone's got 'ex' baggage. That's nothing compared to..."

"Death?"

"Yeah."

Katniss suddenly felt an inappropriate laugh bubble up through her and before she could help herself, she was cackling loudly. It was completely absurd, laughing after talking about Prim, but she just couldn't stop; the harder she tried, the louder she became. "It was the worst experience of my life, sitting in that room as she took her last breath, but you know what the real kicker was?"

Peeta had taken a few clinical-based classes in his education and knew that people dealt with grief in very different ways. He just wasn't expecting Katniss, scowly, closed-off, quiet Katniss, to be laughing at this story. But he knew his best bet was to just go along with her. "What's that?"

Katniss snorted. "My douchebag boyfriend at the time, the driver of the car, the guy who walked away with a few shallow lacerations, had the balls to ask why I wasn't taking care of him instead." She rolled onto her back, wrapped her arms around her now sore stomach, and kicked her legs. "I'm sitting here, with my dying sister, and he's telling me I'm a shitty girlfriend for it. Oh, and all along, Primmy's telling me to just fucking dump him already and be fucking happy for the first time in years. She's the one on her deathbed and she's still more concerned about me!"

The tears that were now streaming down her cheeks very well could have been due to her intense laughing fit or the horrible memory of that day; even she didn't know for sure, but she didn't really care. Getting the story out was all that mattered at this point. When she finally calmed down, she rolled back over and wiped her eyes. "I think I win, family and 'ex' baggage." She smirked. "Have I effectively scared you off?"

Peeta shook his head and pulled her into his body. "Not even close."

* * *

Peeta glanced over at his clock for what had to be the fourth time in the last forty-five minutes. Every other professor had gone home already, most to get their kids ready for trick-or-treating. But here he was, still in his office at quarter to six on Halloween, trying to create a computer simulation that would work for his first of many studies. The only break he had taken so far that evening was the series of text messages between him and Katniss. He had to admit that he was jealous that she was actually done with classes and getting ready to go out with her friends. Finnick was hosting a party at their place and he agreed to go, but at this rate, he'd be showing up in time to watch everyone pass out.

He groaned when he heard a soft knock at his door. Sure, he still was technically holding office hours, but he didn't expect there to be any students still roaming the halls. In fact, everyone was supposed to be gone and while he didn't enjoy computer programming, he certainly didn't need the added distraction. "Come in," he called. He minimized his program and smiled when he saw who was at his door. "Katniss. What are you doing here? I thought you were getting ready."

She shrugged. "I felt bad for you being all cooped up in here alone on Halloween. So I thought I'd come visit."

"Well come in, have a seat," he indicated to the couch.

"Nuh uh uh, Dr. Mellark," she chided. "I'm knocking on your door at Halloween. You're not so old that you don't remember the rules, are you?" She knocked again. "Trick or treat?"

"Well if you're offering, you know I'll take the treat."

She winked and walked into his office, closing the door behind her. "I was hoping you'd choose that." She unbuttoned the long jacket she borrowed from Madge and let it fall to floor, exposing the costume she'd bought specifically for him.

His jaw literally dropped as he took her in. Her normally braided hair was up in a high ponytail. She had a white button down shirt tied above her belly button that was sheer enough to show the red orange bra she wore underneath. A plaid, schoolgirl skirt that barely reached mid-thigh, topped off by knee-length white socks. If that wasn't enough, by the time his roaming eyes made it back to her face, she had on the most innocent face he had ever seen. "Well...uh...what..."

She smirked, pleased that she could surprise him and throw him off a little. She crossed her feet and twisted her fingers together. "Dr. Mellark, you told me you needed to see me in your office. About my test..."

He raised his eyebrows, finally understanding the game she was playing. "Your test. Right."

"Was there a problem, Dr. Mellark?" She could see the lust spark in his eyes when she called him 'Doctor,' so she made a mental note to continue using it.

"Why don't you have a seat, Miss Everdeen." He pointed to the couch and made sure to sit close, but not too close, yet. He let his eyes linger over her legs as her skirt climbed higher on her thighs. "I was looking over your test and I'm afraid to say, I think you cheated."

Katniss' jaw dropped and she stared into his eyes. "What?"

"Your answers were exactly the same as the girl sitting next to you. Do you really expect me to believe that she was the one who cheated?"

Katniss let her chin fall to her chest and shook her head. "No, Sir."

"I have no other option but to give you a zero on this test."

"No!" She sat upright, her eyes wide in protest, hand clamped over her mouth in disbelief. "Dr. Mellark, a zero will mean I fail the class! I can't fail your class. Please, I'll do anything. Anything! I, I, I...I'll write a paper for you. Or I can retake the test, right here, to prove I know the material." She bit her lower lip and let her hand fall to skim his knee, which was now just grazing hers. "Please, Sir, I'll do anything you want me to."

One half smirk in his direction sealed the deal for him. His pants strained at the innuendo of what 'Miss Everdeen' was willing to do. She was doing her absolute best to appear innocent, batting eyelashes and smiling shyly at him, though it was still clear she knew exactly what she was doing. He didn't know which version of her turned him on more, the innocent or the vixen, but either way, the desire to control her overtook him. "I don't know, Miss Everdeen. The punishment for cheating on a test is set in stone. I don't know that there's much else I can do for you."

Katniss uncrossed her legs and turned to face him, her hands resting higher on his thigh, dangerously close to his growing erection. She made a show of staring at it before looking up at him. "There must be...something."

He closed his eyes and repressed the groan that was rising in his throat. "Well, Miss Everdeen, I suppose I could handle your...punishment...in-house."

She smiled brightly at him. "Thank you so much, Sir."

"I wouldn't thank me just yet," he answered, his voice thick with lust. He smirked at the goosebumps that peppered her exposed skin. "As long as you do everything exactly as I ask, I won't give you a zero on this test."

Katniss nodded. "Of course, Dr. Mellark."

Peeta let out a controlled breath. "Why don't you come with me, Miss Everdeen?" He rose from the couch, his erection painfully evident. He directed her to his desk. His heart was racing in anticipation. There was no way she could know that he had been secretly fantasizing about having her in his office like this since the first time she entered over the summer, could she? He turned from her, aware that her eyes tracked his every movement, and began searching through one of the desk drawers.

Her eyes widened when she saw him smack the ruler against his open palm. _'Is he going to use that on me?'_ she wondered. She had never ventured into the world of pain, nor had she ever even considered it would be something she'd be into. Her lip quivered just slightly, the only break in her façade.

He leaned in close to her, and in a voice that was barely above a whisper, simply said, "Mockingbird." He made sure she nodded in understanding before stepping behind her. He flexed the ruler and once more slapped it against his palm. "Step up to the desk so your thighs touch the edge."

"What are you going to do?" Katniss asked.

"Now, now, Miss Everdeen, if you don't want a zero, you'd better do exactly as you're told," he warned her, with another smack against his palm. She jumped slightly but obeyed, inching forward so her bare legs were against the edge of his desk. He reached around her, moving the stacks of journal articles and folders out of the way. "Bend over, Miss Everdeen. And hold on."

She felt the jolt of electricity from his words ignite her insides. "Sir?"

"Bend. Over. And. Hold. On." He enunciated each word with a smack of the ruler.

Katniss swallowed and slowly lowered her torso over the desk. She could tell her skirt had hitched up enough to expose her lacy panties, red-orange to match her bra. Even though it was only a game, being bent over a professor's desk, almost completely exposed to him, brought a flush to her cheeks.

Peeta slowly and lightly ran the ruler up and down Katniss' legs, smirking at the involuntary spasms it elicited. She groaned against the desk. "No complaining now, you got yourself into this little predicament. Just hold still like a good girl and it'll be over soon." He lifted her skirt over her backside, fully exposing the tantalizing panties which contrasted against her olive skin perfectly. He made sure to start slow, bringing the ruler down against her skin softly.

She jumped at the first couple of blows, surprised they didn't hurt as much as she expected them too. More than that, with each slap of the ruler against her skin, she could feel herself growing wetter and wetter. He was most definitely 'punishing' her, but it felt more pleasurable. This wasn't like any kind of 'punishment' she had experienced in the past. She allowed her body to relax, feeling safe in this charade, even though she knew she'd sit uncomfortably for the rest of the night. As if he could tell she was relaxing, the next few blows were more powerful, stinging against her skin. "Ow!" she cried, "That hurts!"

"It's supposed to hurt," he responded in a gruff voice. "That's why they call it punishment." He rested his spare hand on her lower back, keeping her flat against the desk. A few more slaps against her skin and her cries of pain audibly changed into moans. He cocked an eyebrow, even though he knew she couldn't see him. "What's this? Do you like this?" He set the ruler down on the desk next to her and ran his hand up her thighs to her covered heat. He could feel her arousal through the thin fabric. "Good girl," he murmured, slipping his fingers past the barrier and into her.

She moaned and pressed herself back against his hand. She turned her head, using her arm to keep her from making too much noise. She figured they were alone, but didn't want to take any chances and get caught.

He pulled his fingers out and from the corner of her eye, she watched as he cleaned them off in his mouth and clenched when he let out a blissful groan. She could hear the sound of a zipper and rustle of fabric and whimpered into the desk. He rubbed the head of his fully erect cock against her opening. He took hold of her hips and slid into her, both of them releasing sounds of pleasure, him at the tightness around him and her at the satisfying intrusion. He kept one hand on her hip and reached up with the other to grab a hold of her ponytail.

She let out a deep groan when he grabbed her hair, so he continued to test the water, pulling harder, wrapping her hair around his fingers to tighten his grip. She arched her back, allowing him to hit a slightly different spot inside her. Katniss didn't even recognize her own shallow, husky breaths as he continued to thrust into her. She let out a loud yelp and gripped the side of the desk harder when he gave her ass a hard slap. Despite her hold on the desk, she felt herself slide across it every time he pounded into her. Her thighs were sure to have bruises from being forced against the edge, and likely on her ass as well, but it was well worth it. She felt her arousal build as her nerves continued to fire. Sex with Peeta had always been great, but this time it felt different. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. From the slight pain, to the role playing, to being bent over his desk, to the feel of his cock pumping in and out of her. It was just...

"Fuck!" she yelled, looking back at him. "Peeta! Fucking condom!"

He halted mid-thrust and stared down at where they were connected. "Fuck me!" he groaned. "Shit, Katniss, I'm sorry. I can't believe I for-"

"Fuck." She interrupted him. "Fuck, just...be careful? I mean, I'm on the pill but don't...you know...finish inside?"

He looked at her in disbelief, but nodded. "Yeah."

"Good. Now, continue, Dr. Mellark," she ordered with a wink.

He growled and pulled her off the desk, spinning her so she was facing him. He kissed her, pulling her head back by her ponytail and planting hard kisses down her neck to her collarbone. His fingers deftly unbuttoned her shirt, pulling it open to expose her bra. He pulled down one of the cups and latched his mouth onto her sensitive skin. Peeta backed her up and lifted her so she sat on his desk. He released her breast and pulled her right to the edge before entering her again, this time sensually and tortuously slow.

"I'm going to make you come, right here on my desk," he warned. "I've wanted to fuck you in here for so long, Miss Everdeen."

"Fuck," she sighed, letting her head fall back. "Dr. Mellark, please."

He grunted and began plunging into her faster. He wrapped her legs around him and used a spare hand to thumb her clit. Katniss groaned louder and louder as her orgasm built inside her, finally bursting through, sending shockwaves through her body.

Peeta controlled his breathing until she relaxed and pulled her off the desk. "I'm not gonna last too much longer."

Katniss immediately dropped to her knees and took him in her mouth, pumping him with one hand, ignoring her own taste on him. He wasn't exaggerating when he said he was close. A few deep bobs and he came, filling her mouth. She licked him clean and he helped her back to her feet, sitting her on the desk once more. He leaned his head against hers, both sweaty and satisfied. Katniss laid back on the desk, letting her arms and legs fall off the edges, with her skirt hiked up and shirt completely open. Her panties were still clinging on one leg, her socks pushed halfway down her legs.

"Well, Miss Everdeen, you were extremely cooperative today. I'll see what I can do about that test grade of yours," he said, pulling his pants back up.

She lifted her head and smiled widely at him. "Maybe I'll have to cheat on some more tests."

"Katniss, why do you have leggings on under your dress? It was so cute without!" Madge cried when Katniss made it to the bar. After their afternoon tryst, she and Peeta spent time afterward cuddling together on his couch and when she realized what time it was, she texted Madge to tell her she'd meet everyone at the bar. She tried on her costume and caught sight of the bruises on the fronts of her thighs; there was no way she'd be able to explain them away without confessing to an early evening romp. Leggings it was.

"I was afraid it would be cold. Don't worry, Madge, they still go with the costume," she reasoned.

Madge eyed her suspiciously, a question clearly on her face.

"Yes," Katniss whispered. "I'll tell you about it later." In a louder voice, to the rest of the small group of people they were out with, she announced she was going to the bar to get the first round. On the way, she texted a picture she took before putting her leggings on to Peeta.

10:45 pm. Peeta. /Round two tonight?/

She smiled and sent her confirmation. "Happy Halloween," she cheered Madge. '_Happy Halloween, indeed.'_

* * *

**AN2:** First off, happy father's day to all the dad's of people and fuzzballs. Thanks so much for everyone who has stuck by this story. I will try to get another chapter (or two) up before school starts but no guarantees. Hopefully the increased length and double smut in this one will make up for it ;). A HUGE thank you to Sunfish for all your help as I was working on it (including your sassy comments that I so very much love...erm...hate) and Chelzie for beta'ing this up. Hope everyone enjoyed this little piece. I'm on tumblr at mitchesbcray if you wanna chat or ask questions or whatevs.


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